Drafted letter to other woman’s husband

[Anonymous]

As someone whose wife cheated and left me for AP who promptly dumped her, I can tell you literally nobody gives a sh-t about cheating. In five years when you’ve settled into a custody arrangement and kids are growing, you’ll look like sour grapes if you even bring it up. Your DH just doesn’t want to be married to you anymore.

The d as lined you move on from this and get a new life without him the better.

Ask yourself is this action you propose helping you advance your goal in being free of him and in a new life? And even if it helps a bit in terms of divorce settlement is it worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, cheaters will tell you not to do this. It’s the right thing to do. Read “surviving infidelity” and “betrayed wives” blogs. They advise doing this.

Wrong. As a woman who was cheated on multiple times by my ex, I would never advise a woman to do something like this--it lacks dignity. And you aren't doing it for the right reason. At the root, you are doing it out of spite-- and we all know it.

You will feel much better about yourself if you simply move on. Also, what's to say she won't be the one who checks the mail that day? Stop expending your energy on petty, vindictive behavior.

Exactly. I was cheated on by my wife and I ruminated all kinds of schemes to get back and be vindictive but thankfully did not. It’s five years later and I now see her as a total loser and I am so glad I am not with her and didn’t blow things up despite my anger and my begging and pick me dancing. Man I was crushed and surprised and a total wimp. I should have kicked her to the curb emotionally and just moved right on. I eventually did but I did two years of navel gazing and depression.

Be strong OP. Just. Move. On.

[Anonymous]

So what if she looks petty or weak? She's not the one who did the cheating and had nothing to be ashamed of.

OP, I say send an email, certified mail seems like overkill.

[Anonymous]

I'd send an email and move on and don't look back.

[Anonymous]

OP- time will not be kind to a 50-year old woman that never held a job and sucks off men she meets on the Internet in the family home a couple times a month.

Think about how pathetic and depressing a person is to resort to that. They always end up dumping her and she never finds her exit out. Tossed aside like garbage.

50 is long in the tooth for a woman to still be peddling her wares on those websites.

Remember what her life is like and how low she has to be to resort to that, bringing strange men into the house when her teens are at school and husband is at work. Reeks of insecurity and emotional damage.

That poor f@cker has to be married to that. Frankly, he’s got to just have his head in the sand to not to have discovered something after all of these years. Not sure he would even believe the email since he probably prefers to stay deluded. So I wouldn’t bother sending it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- time will not be kind to a 50-year old woman that never held a job and sucks off men she meets on the Internet in the family home a couple times a month.

Think about how pathetic and depressing a person is to resort to that. They always end up dumping her and she never finds her exit out. Tossed aside like garbage.

50 is long in the tooth for a woman to still be peddling her wares on those websites.

Remember what her life is like and how low she has to be to resort to that, bringing strange men into the house when her teens are at school and husband is at work. Reeks of insecurity and emotional damage.

That poor f@cker has to be married to that. Frankly, he’s got to just have his head in the sand to not to have discovered something after all of these years. Not sure he would even believe the email since he probably prefers to stay deluded. So I wouldn’t bother sending it.

Long in the tooth to be peddling her wares?? talk about thinking if women as objects???

[Anonymous]

Peddling wares is exactly what somebody going on a website designed for married affairs is doing. For chrissakes. You think it’s to start a book club and discuss literature? It’s 40 min twice a month or so to f@ck. She is making herself nothing useful but a warm hole.

Too many housewives caught up in “Bridges of Madison County” and the “Notebook”. It’s a website designed to find somebody to f@ck, not date. It’s advertised for affairs.

[Anonymous]

Doing it in the family home? Oh you got to tell him. That’s vile and disrespect on a global level.

[Anonymous]

Groan, not you again. When does this end? At least you aren't hijacking another thread this time. Send your letter, or don't. No ones gives a F.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re the same OP who has been posting around this woman and you had the face to face in the driveway about it?

Yeah, send it. Just get it over with.

Either way, just end this story.

[Anonymous]

My ex cheated on me with probably dozens of women. He's a sociopath. I did nothing when I figured it all out, though I did fight him in court. And I won.

Now, ten years later, I'm stronger and I believe in living a secret-free life. I would probably just pick up the phone and call the other betrayed spouse. And then move on.

Just send a letter and an email. Oh, and make sure you have proof. My ex would have sued me for doing something like this. But if you have proof, you'll be okay.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I hope you have lots of therapy and exercise and friends to lean on. I want to tell you to rush through the pain, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Take good care of yourself, OP. You'll get to the other side and find love and light - really and truly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, cheaters will tell you not to do this. It’s the right thing to do. Read “surviving infidelity” and “betrayed wives” blogs. They advise doing this.

Wrong. As a woman who was cheated on multiple times by my ex, I would never advise a woman to do something like this--it lacks dignity. And you aren't doing it for the right reason. At the root, you are doing it out of spite-- and we all know it.

You will feel much better about yourself if you simply move on. Also, what's to say she won't be the one who checks the mail that day? Stop expending your energy on petty, vindictive behavior.

It doesn't matter who checks the mail as, if OP says, they send it certified and requiring his signature. When she talks to the post office, they'll tell her how to do that. It is 100% possible.

[Anonymous]

I’m the lone voice who will say, I wouldn’t want to know if DH was cheating, especially if it was relatively meaningless to him and if it was over and he wanted to stay with me.

I get annual check ups at the gyno. Cervical cancer caused by HPv is slow moving. Most of the population has HPV regardless.

Most people cheat in long term marriages-I think it’s over 60%.

Like a PP said, there’s more to a marriage than sexual fidelity.

If I could have a french marriage, where you could have or be a mistress on the side, I would probably jump at it. I love DH, have zero intention of leaving him ever, but yeah doing it with the same person for years and years is boring.

I think it would crush DH if I did this and he’s such a monogamist I don’t think he could handle this. So I don’t cheat. But I don’t necessarily see it as the huge deal that others do.

I’ve specifically told DH, If you bang some chick at a conference and it means nothing, JFC DO NOT TELL ME. You keep that to yourself and don’t you dare burden me with the knowledge.

I don’t think he would act on it though, but people can surprise us so There’s no 100% certainty, for me just 99%.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, whatever you end up doing, prepare yourself for every type of reaction - it can be anything from the husband being thankful and kicking her out, to "shoot the messenger", to denial, disregarding and choosing to look the other way. And prepare yourself emotionally in case the OW does not get the consequences she deserves.

[Anonymous]

Email. cc the other woman.

I did it. It was so GD satisfying.