Older guy reentering the dating pool...

[Anonymous]

OP, I am a woman (same age range as you) and I have the same 6 month waiting period to introduce boyfriends/girlfriends to kids in my divorce agreement. I think that's pretty common. I completely disagree with some PP's that is controlling or a sign you are not ready to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange advice I received was if you have kids not to go out with a woman who didn't have kids. I thought it strange at the time but definitely right on the mark.

I disagree, assuming the woman is ok with not wanting kids of her own. Much easier to date a woman who doesn’t have kids because then she can easily rotate things around yuor cudtody schedule, you don’t have to worry about blending stepsiblings, etc.

Most women who don't have kids and don't want them aren't particularly interested in taking on Step Mom duties. Because they don't want kids...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange advice I received was if you have kids not to go out with a woman who didn't have kids. I thought it strange at the time but definitely right on the mark.

I disagree, assuming the woman is ok with not wanting kids of her own. Much easier to date a woman who doesn’t have kids because then she can easily rotate things around yuor cudtody schedule, you don’t have to worry about blending stepsiblings, etc.

Most women who don't have kids and don't want them aren't particularly interested in taking on Step Mom duties. Because they don't want kids...

I have 50/50 custody and actively go out. Women who don't have kids usually say that they are "great aunts"--which usually means that they don't have a clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange advice I received was if you have kids not to go out with a woman who didn't have kids. I thought it strange at the time but definitely right on the mark.

I disagree, assuming the woman is ok with not wanting kids of her own. Much easier to date a woman who doesn’t have kids because then she can easily rotate things around yuor cudtody schedule, you don’t have to worry about blending stepsiblings, etc.

Most women who don't have kids and don't want them aren't particularly interested in taking on Step Mom duties. Because they don't want kids...

I have 50/50 custody and actively go out. Women who don't have kids usually say that they are "great aunts"--which usually means that they don't have a clue.

We're agreeing here. I was responding to the guys who said no kids women are easier because they can work around kid schedules for the guy's kids or that they would be another mom-figure to their kids. No surprise women who never wanted kids don't have a clue. Why would they? Messy mixed families aside, if you are divorced with kids you're probably better off with someone in a similar situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange advice I received was if you have kids not to go out with a woman who didn't have kids. I thought it strange at the time but definitely right on the mark.

I disagree, assuming the woman is ok with not wanting kids of her own. Much easier to date a woman who doesn’t have kids because then she can easily rotate things around yuor cudtody schedule, you don’t have to worry about blending stepsiblings, etc.

Most women who don't have kids and don't want them aren't particularly interested in taking on Step Mom duties. Because they don't want kids...

I have 50/50 custody and actively go out. Women who don't have kids usually say that they are "great aunts"--which usually means that they don't have a clue.

We're agreeing here. I was responding to the guys who said no kids women are easier because they can work around kid schedules for the guy's kids or that they would be another mom-figure to their kids. No surprise women who never wanted kids don't have a clue. Why would they? Messy mixed families aside, if you are divorced with kids you're probably better off with someone in a similar situation.

Says the divorced mom with kids who wants guys to date her instead of the single childless women who have less baggage....

[Anonymous]

OP here. I can see arguments either way for dating someone with no kids vs another single parent. Not going to exclude either group at this point, though I am going to pass on women who say they want kids, since I don't need new babies at this point, wonderful though babies are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Women who don't have kids usually say that they are "great aunts"--which usually means that they don't have a clue.

No surprise women who never wanted kids don't have a clue.

Astounding example of blatant bias against women who are childless. I guess if you have not given birth yourself you are incapable of demonstrating love, kindness, concern and sacrifice for someone else's?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can see arguments either way for dating someone with no kids vs another single parent. Not going to exclude either group at this point, though I am going to pass on women who say they want kids, since I don't need new babies at this point, wonderful though babies are.

Other than women who want children, keep an open mind. If you narrow down the field too tightly upfront you might miss out on some very nice women. When I started dating I was not initially interested in a LTR because I wanted it to be casual, fun and meet interesting women and I did. At the same time I was not going to date women my daughters age even if it would feed my ego. I was pleasantly surprised to find many women who wanted things to be casual and fun and that included having sex. Like me they had come out of sexless marriages but they were definitely not sexless people regardless of what their exes might have said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange advice I received was if you have kids not to go out with a woman who didn't have kids. I thought it strange at the time but definitely right on the mark.

I disagree, assuming the woman is ok with not wanting kids of her own. Much easier to date a woman who doesn’t have kids because then she can easily rotate things around yuor cudtody schedule, you don’t have to worry about blending stepsiblings, etc.

Most women who don't have kids and don't want them aren't particularly interested in taking on Step Mom duties. Because they don't want kids...

I have 50/50 custody and actively go out. Women who don't have kids usually say that they are "great aunts"--which usually means that they don't have a clue.

We're agreeing here. I was responding to the guys who said no kids women are easier because they can work around kid schedules for the guy's kids or that they would be another mom-figure to their kids. No surprise women who never wanted kids don't have a clue. Why would they? Messy mixed families aside, if you are divorced with kids you're probably better off with someone in a similar situation.

Says the divorced mom with kids who wants guys to date her instead of the single childless women who have less baggage....

I am a divorced mom with kids. I have had no problem with men who have never been married and don't have kids wanting to date me. In fact, most are childless and have never been married. Sometimes you can't just say it is better in either situation. I am quite surprised I seem to have more options in my early 40s with kids than I did in my late 20s (but that could have been a self-esteem thing).

Date who you want to date. Be upfront if you are done having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange advice I received was if you have kids not to go out with a woman who didn't have kids. I thought it strange at the time but definitely right on the mark.

I disagree, assuming the woman is ok with not wanting kids of her own. Much easier to date a woman who doesn’t have kids because then she can easily rotate things around yuor cudtody schedule, you don’t have to worry about blending stepsiblings, etc.

Most women who don't have kids and don't want them aren't particularly interested in taking on Step Mom duties. Because they don't want kids...

I have 50/50 custody and actively go out. Women who don't have kids usually say that they are "great aunts"--which usually means that they don't have a clue.

We're agreeing here. I was responding to the guys who said no kids women are easier because they can work around kid schedules for the guy's kids or that they would be another mom-figure to their kids. No surprise women who never wanted kids don't have a clue. Why would they? Messy mixed families aside, if you are divorced with kids you're probably better off with someone in a similar situation.

Says the divorced mom with kids who wants guys to date her instead of the single childless women who have less baggage....

I am a divorced mom with kids. I have had no problem with men who have never been married and don't have kids wanting to date me. In fact, most are childless and have never been married. Sometimes you can't just say it is better in either situation. I am quite surprised I seem to have more options in my early 40s with kids than I did in my late 20s (but that could have been a self-esteem thing).

Date who you want to date. Be upfront if you are done having kids.

The nice thing about dating a divorced mom with kids is that many are not really interested in a LTR because of all the potential complexities. The ones I have dated simply want some adult companionship and do adult things. Scheduling dates can be a hassle but if they are attractive, smart and fun it is well worth it.

[Anonymous]

Says the divorced mom with kids who wants guys to date her instead of the single childless women who have less baggage....

You have no idea if they have less baggage.

In fact, it is people like the posters who refer to children as baggage that are people you should avoid the most as they prove that natural selection is running its course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Women who don't have kids usually say that they are "great aunts"--which usually means that they don't have a clue.

No surprise women who never wanted kids don't have a clue.

Astounding example of blatant bias against women who are childless. I guess if you have not given birth yourself you are incapable of demonstrating love, kindness, concern and sacrifice for someone else's?

Bias against women who do not have children, probably. Never say never, but if you are looking for a LTR and want someone who empathizes with the challenges of raising a family, a woman who has not had that experience may not understand. Raising a family includes adoption, surrogacy, step-parenting--it doesn't have to be "giving birth yourself."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange advice I received was if you have kids not to go out with a woman who didn't have kids. I thought it strange at the time but definitely right on the mark.

I disagree, assuming the woman is ok with not wanting kids of her own. Much easier to date a woman who doesn’t have kids because then she can easily rotate things around yuor cudtody schedule, you don’t have to worry about blending stepsiblings, etc.

Most women who don't have kids and don't want them aren't particularly interested in taking on Step Mom duties. Because they don't want kids...

I have 50/50 custody and actively go out. Women who don't have kids usually say that they are "great aunts"--which usually means that they don't have a clue.

We're agreeing here. I was responding to the guys who said no kids women are easier because they can work around kid schedules for the guy's kids or that they would be another mom-figure to their kids. No surprise women who never wanted kids don't have a clue. Why would they? Messy mixed families aside, if you are divorced with kids you're probably better off with someone in a similar situation.

Says the divorced mom with kids who wants guys to date her instead of the single childless women who have less baggage....

I am a divorced mom with kids. I have had no problem with men who have never been married and don't have kids wanting to date me. In fact, most are childless and have never been married. Sometimes you can't just say it is better in either situation. I am quite surprised I seem to have more options in my early 40s with kids than I did in my late 20s (but that could have been a self-esteem thing).

Date who you want to date. Be upfront if you are done having kids.

The nice thing about dating a divorced mom with kids is that many are not really interested in a LTR because of all the potential complexities. The ones I have dated simply want some adult companionship and do adult things. Scheduling dates can be a hassle but if they are attractive, smart and fun it is well worth it.

That is true. I am the immediate PP and one of those people. I would like one person for awhile but I am not interested in moving in together or marriage ever again.

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to be exciting. Be handsome and handy.

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to be exciting. Be handsome and handy.

Handy? What does that mean? Do you mean someone who fixes the garbage disposal when it breaks?