Older guy reentering the dating pool...

[Anonymous]

When I was in my 20s, I tried to convey the impression my life was fun and exciting. You will be entertained!

Now I’m a divorced dad. My life really isn’t fun and exciting. I work, I do a lot with my kids (50/50 custody). When I talk to coworkers, a lot of it revolves around kids, but I am dubious my dates would want to hear too much about that. So what do “fun, interesting” older guys talk about? What does “exciting” mean when it’s an older guy?

[Anonymous]

It’s going to depend on who you are dating. If your dating divorced women with kids closer to your age, you are going to likely relate to them more. If you are dating never married younger women they don’t want to hear about your kids. To be honest, you don’t sound ready to date. You need to figure out that 50% of the time you don’t have kids...what hobbies do you enjoy, books you have read, travels you have taken or would like to take, activities with friends, etc. You will also be asked why you divorced so have an answer that doesn’t just blame your Ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I tried to convey the impression my life was fun and exciting. You will be entertained!

Now I’m a divorced dad. My life really isn’t fun and exciting. I work, I do a lot with my kids (50/50 custody). When I talk to coworkers, a lot of it revolves around kids, but I am dubious my dates would want to hear too much about that. So what do “fun, interesting” older guys talk about? What does “exciting” mean when it’s an older guy?

Talk to women about lawn mowers. I heard they find that attractive.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think at the age you are, seeking to sound "fun", will make you sound shallow. You have responsibilities. You ought to be a different, more introspective person than you were in your 20's. Heaven help you if you aren't.

[Anonymous]

PP again. since I've said my peace, I guess I'll add: travel, hobbies, particularly active one ... sailing, hiking. Music/shows, entertainment.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to be exciting. You can find someone who shares some of the same interests and hobbies as you, even if you feel like they are boring. If you portray yourself as exciting, you will have to pretend to be exciting all the time, won't that be exhausting?

[Anonymous]

What do you talk to your friends about? Be yourself, or it is a bait and switch, likely to fail.

You sound appealing to me. A mature women does not really want to get into a relationship with 007 (Bond... James Bond).

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, do not mention yoga or meditation on your profile or include pictures of your kids. Shirtless pics are also out as our bathroom selfies.

[Anonymous]

Older women have often been burned by “exciting” men enough to value things like kindness, empathy, stability, and generosity. You do need to be able to talk about interests that don’t involve your kids, and show some very real interest in my life, current events, and something else: literature, skeet shooting, bird watching, whatever... but not video games. I value a sense of humor a whole lot more than I do “excitement “ - And I would view being a loving parent as sexy and attractive - but you do have to have interests that go beyond your family.

[Anonymous]

Don’t need to be exciting, just be nice and genuine. Desire sex. Have some topics of conversation not related to kids. You’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older women have often been burned by “exciting” men enough to value things like kindness, empathy, stability, and generosity. You do need to be able to talk about interests that don’t involve your kids, and show some very real interest in my life, current events, and something else: literature, skeet shooting, bird watching, whatever... but not video games. I value a sense of humor a whole lot more than I do “excitement “ - And I would view being a loving parent as sexy and attractive - but you do have to have interests that go beyond your family.

Wonderful. Now if I am ever single again, I don't have to be a jerk to attract women.

[Anonymous]

Listen to all of the above OP. You've matured, so has your dating pool. We're looking for a connection, not a show. Be kind, empathetic, take good care of yourself and show that you can do that for others. I met my current guy at 45 (he was 48). Last night we had dinner at 4:30p! Lol, talk about exciting. But then we went for a long walk, talked about what's happening in the world, had great sex, and made mimosas this morning. To me, that's exciting.

[Anonymous]

How old are you and how old are your kids? Are you interested in women in their 20s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older women have often been burned by “exciting” men enough to value things like kindness, empathy, stability, and generosity. You do need to be able to talk about interests that don’t involve your kids, and show some very real interest in my life, current events, and something else: literature, skeet shooting, bird watching, whatever... but not video games. I value a sense of humor a whole lot more than I do “excitement “ - And I would view being a loving parent as sexy and attractive - but you do have to have interests that go beyond your family.

Wonderful. Now if I am ever single again, I don't have to be a jerk to attract women.

You never did. I'm sorry you had that impression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s going to depend on who you are dating. If your dating divorced women with kids closer to your age, you are going to likely relate to them more. If you are dating never married younger women they don’t want to hear about your kids. To be honest, you don’t sound ready to date. You need to figure out that 50% of the time you don’t have kids...what hobbies do you enjoy, books you have read, travels you have taken or would like to take, activities with friends, etc. You will also be asked why you divorced so have an answer that doesn’t just blame your Ex.

I am divorced. So far I have not asked a man why he divorced...so the last statement is not universally true.