Why do some women choose to be a sidepiece?

[Anonymous]

Back to the post:
Lack of self-respect and self-awareness
Will believe anything
Insecure beyond measure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It feels good to be desired. Someone is so into you that they are willing to risk it all. Excitement, lust, being chosen sexually over someone else.

All the good parts without any of the baggage.

You realise a cheater will also go for other women as well. It's just that you believed what he told you. I've known a few men that have cheated and the lies are unbelievable. They will tell you whatever you need to hear to get you into bed. It isn't real and you haven't been chosen sexually, you were just the one he could get into bed. He will also go to bed with other women if he has the chance.

I've known two women who ended their marriage for their AP, the man who they felt so desired by and thought he was so into them, when they actually left the marriage, the guy was running so fast he left skid marks on the carpet on his way out. The women are now single after their husbands divorced them. AP no where in sight.

And no I haven't been cheated on in my marriage. I just find it amusing when women believe what they are told, players play.

This. Any woman who thinks otherwise is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

+1

He chose his wife.
He didn’t choose you and he never will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. So a serious question for the women AP’s: are there any traits you see in men who will cheat on their spouses vs. divorcing? I guess are there certain traits/ careers/ mindset that you find common in those men? Again, if they are unhappy in a marriage, they can divorce and so just trying to see if there’s any way to identify those men in advance.

They actually have a sense of duty, love their kids and respect their wives for what they bring to the table. They know they have it good with the only part that’s missing being sex, or enough sex. I’ve had men telling me upfront that do not intend to leave their wives ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1

He chose his wife.
He didn’t choose you and he never will.

I’m good with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

uh, the PP said the AP was her side piece...i.e., she's married and cheating in her spouse. the guy/AP could be single, not that it matters at all.

[Anonymous]

There's a great stigma with divorce. A handsome married man has options, the lesser will have a difficult time finding a willing affair partner. Those are the ones that cut their losses and divorce. No one wants your wrinkled, dad-bod husband with emeeging ED issues. Its one of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high now. Remember, this is about the marriage and no one else.

Crap, even the handsome married men in this area have it tough. I see the same ones online all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1

He chose his wife.
He didn’t choose you and he never will.

I’m good with that.

I can’t imagine having so little confidence that it wouldn’t bother me to always be someone’s second choice / never their priority. I deserve better. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. So a serious question for the women AP’s: are there any traits you see in men who will cheat on their spouses vs. divorcing? I guess are there certain traits/ careers/ mindset that you find common in those men? Again, if they are unhappy in a marriage, they can divorce and so just trying to see if there’s any way to identify those men in advance.

The common trait is that they are looking to be desired and they want excitement. I’ve been with men who regularly have sex with their wife, but they describe it as obligatory, marital sex. What they aren’t looking for is a wife, and what I don’t want to be is a wife. Most are happy with the kids and wife portion, but long for the carefree, wild sex and excitement.

Cheater here, this is exactly it. The marital only in one position and no more than once a week sex my wife is willing but doesn't want is my alternative. A fleeting moment of fun and passion again before I die is what this is about, nothing more. If my wife wanted to spice up the bedroom, I wouldnt affair. As my AP says, my wife could put her out of business

So why don’t you leave your wife since it will be difficult to get NRE type sex in a marriage ? You’ll find someone who fits your needs better.

Also, how do we figure out before marriage that a man can cheat in a marriage? I am not judging you but if that is what we don’t for our kids, there’s got to be a way to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

I know you are going to scoff, but he isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. So a serious question for the women AP’s: are there any traits you see in men who will cheat on their spouses vs. divorcing? I guess are there certain traits/ careers/ mindset that you find common in those men? Again, if they are unhappy in a marriage, they can divorce and so just trying to see if there’s any way to identify those men in advance.

The common trait is that they are looking to be desired and they want excitement. I’ve been with men who regularly have sex with their wife, but they describe it as obligatory, marital sex. What they aren’t looking for is a wife, and what I don’t want to be is a wife. Most are happy with the kids and wife portion, but long for the carefree, wild sex and excitement.

Cheater here, this is exactly it. The marital only in one position and no more than once a week sex my wife is willing but doesn't want is my alternative. A fleeting moment of fun and passion again before I die is what this is about, nothing more. If my wife wanted to spice up the bedroom, I wouldnt affair. As my AP says, my wife could put her out of business

So why don’t you leave your wife since it will be difficult to get NRE type sex in a marriage ? You’ll find someone who fits your needs better.

Also, how do we figure out before marriage that a man can cheat in a marriage? I am not judging you but if that is what we don’t for our kids, there’s got to be a way to do so.

You don't. I'm one of the PPs whose husband cheated and was nerdy etc. I'm not sure HE knew he had it in him until he did it, so there was no way for me to know. You make decisions based on the best information you have in front of you at the time, it's not a system you can game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

I know you are going to scoff, but he isn't.

Listen if he will cheat with you he will cheat on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. So a serious question for the women AP’s: are there any traits you see in men who will cheat on their spouses vs. divorcing? I guess are there certain traits/ careers/ mindset that you find common in those men? Again, if they are unhappy in a marriage, they can divorce and so just trying to see if there’s any way to identify those men in advance.

Those who stay married: Cowards. Weak. Can't own up to what they really are or what they want and want to preserve an image. May have more assets/ more to lose.

Those who divorce: believe there are greener pastures. Give fewer f#$% about the illusion of a happy traditional family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

uh, the PP said the AP was her side piece...i.e., she's married and cheating in her spouse. the guy/AP could be single, not that it matters at all.

He's married (thus I'm his side piece). I'm married (thus he's my side piece).

He is not having sex with his wife. I am having sex with my husband. AP knows this, so I don't think there is any reason for him to lie about him having/not having sex with his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

I know you are going to scoff, but he isn't.

Awwwww.