School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

A lot of issues here. Like dignity. Show your daughter her dignity matters by getting in your car and helping her with self care. Good lord, help her gain and maintain self esteem. Help her. I work full time. I got a sh*t call once (actually my daughter sharted) and I took care of that right away. Work is important, yes, but “being there” is important. Shame op sees this as such a drag. Being there for your child is a privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During music class my daughter had a pee and poop accident. The school called and said that she was too messy and they I would need to come clean her up and honestly it might be best if I we just took her home for her a bath. She in K. I’m really upset that I had to leave work to come get her for what is a very normal accident for a 5yr old. And just to be clear, she had extra clothes in her bag. If this happened often, I would understand, but this is the first time she had a poop accident at school.

Of course they called you, OP. This is your responsibility and not theirs. You have absolutely no business being upset with the teachers or expecting anything different than what they did.

[Anonymous]

I have a 5yo and 2 older children. Not one of them has ever had a “pee and poop” accident at school (or anywhere else) but if they did you bet I would leave work and pick them up. OP, please get some help for your daughter and her anxiety and for yourself and your unrealistic expectations about parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No she is not SN. She has 2-3 pee accidents but never poop. She does have some anxiety surrounding asking to go the the bathroom. Her K class does not have a bathroom in the classroom. They take 3 scheduled bathroom breaks as a class, but she doesn’t always utilize those teams. I wish the teacher would push her to always try during those breaks. I do not think that I should have to come take her home in the middle of the day tho. I’m sure this is something schools nurses are used to.

Your child is likely quite constipated (been there, done that). Take her to a pediatrician and have her carefully examined. Have them write a doctor’s note that she has encopresis and that she must be allowed to use the bathroom whenever she gets the urge. Do everything you can to get rid of the constipation such as plenty of water, exercise, fiber, laxative and bathroom breaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 5yo and 2 older children. Not one of them has ever had a “pee and poop” accident at school (or anywhere else) but if they did you bet I would leave work and pick them up. OP, please get some help for your daughter and her anxiety and for yourself and your unrealistic expectations about parenting.

Wow none of your kids has ever had an accident??

I have 3 and none of mine has at school either but at 3yo they all had at least one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of issues here. Like dignity. Show your daughter her dignity matters by getting in your car and helping her with self care. Good lord, help her gain and maintain self esteem. Help her. I work full time. I got a sh*t call once (actually my daughter sharted) and I took care of that right away. Work is important, yes, but “being there” is important. Shame op sees this as such a drag. Being there for your child is a privilege.

Finally some common sense!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I was thinking something along these lines as well. When we lived in Latin America kids were trained MUCH earlier, but it would have been typical for the nurses to clean up

I don’t understand...the kids were potty trained earlier, so what were the nurses cleaning up? Are you talking about school nurses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No she is not SN. She has 2-3 pee accidents but never poop. She does have some anxiety surrounding asking to go the the bathroom. Her K class does not have a bathroom in the classroom. They take 3 scheduled bathroom breaks as a class, but she doesn’t always utilize those teams. I wish the teacher would push her to always try during those breaks. I do not think that I should have to come take her home in the middle of the day tho. I’m sure this is something schools nurses are used to.

^^^Mom of the Year Right Here Ya’ll” ^^^

Schools do not have nurses. They have techs. NO ONE can lay a hand on kids private parts. Are you insane? Your child is not toilet trained. This is YOUR issue and you will continue to get calls. The teacher teaches. The tech takes care of multiple sick kids every 15min or so. NO ONE has time to WPI poop off your child. I would be mortified. Apologize and get her immediately. Your poor child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 5yo and 2 older children. Not one of them has ever had a “pee and poop” accident at school (or anywhere else) but if they did you bet I would leave work and pick them up. OP, please get some help for your daughter and her anxiety and for yourself and your unrealistic expectations about parenting.

Wow none of your kids has ever had an accident??

I have 3 and none of mine has at school either but at 3yo they all had at least one.

My kids never had accidents either. We trained super early though. Both were out of diapers by around 2yrs old. One needed an overnight though. The other would get out of her toddler bed and pee at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually understand where the OP is coming from-- with my current work situation its no big deal to run up to school- but a few years ago this would have been a much bigger deal. Something I would have done immediately for an injured or sick kid- but a kid who needed to change clothes?
Also- and I'm hesitant to say to much- but my DC definitely has the problem, and much much more frequently. We have put things in the IEP about it.
I would strongly encourage you to read It's No Accident. I strongly suspect that your daughter is severely constipated. She could still be having regular bowel movements- but their is probably a fecal mass pressing on her bladder, which causes the urinary accidents and also eventually poop leaks out. Does she have 'skid marks' in her underwear? I should have recognized this as a sign of constipation a year before I did- we kept on trying to teach better wiping hygiene. Go to the pediatrician, tell the pediatrician about the accidents and any other signs. Insist on an xray. Get to a good GI.
Please don't dismiss this. I waited years thinking that occasional accidents were normal, and that there were other explanations. Now my poor DC's insides are so messed up, it is so hard to deal with.

So "skid marks" in underwear meaning a sign of constipation & needs to get x-tray & a GI? My son has little skid marks in his underwear once or twice weekly & I always think that he needs to work on better wiping hygiene. He would comment that his butt itches because he does not wipe well. He has no poop or pee accident at home or school.

[Anonymous]

Your child has anxiety about asking to use the bathroom and about stairs? Speaking as the mom of a kid with anxiety - it may be time for some help.

[Anonymous]

If OP's daughter was never in daycare/preschool and this is her first time away from parents most of the day, on most days, then I wonder if she's deliberately acting out via having "accidents" to come home. Aside from accidents, how is she feeling about kindergarten, OP?

Regardless, this isn't normal and you gotta work with your kid. It's not the responsibility of the school to clean up a 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually understand where the OP is coming from-- with my current work situation its no big deal to run up to school- but a few years ago this would have been a much bigger deal. Something I would have done immediately for an injured or sick kid- but a kid who needed to change clothes?
Also- and I'm hesitant to say to much- but my DC definitely has the problem, and much much more frequently. We have put things in the IEP about it.
I would strongly encourage you to read It's No Accident. I strongly suspect that your daughter is severely constipated. She could still be having regular bowel movements- but their is probably a fecal mass pressing on her bladder, which causes the urinary accidents and also eventually poop leaks out. Does she have 'skid marks' in her underwear? I should have recognized this as a sign of constipation a year before I did- we kept on trying to teach better wiping hygiene. Go to the pediatrician, tell the pediatrician about the accidents and any other signs. Insist on an xray. Get to a good GI.
Please don't dismiss this. I waited years thinking that occasional accidents were normal, and that there were other explanations. Now my poor DC's insides are so messed up, it is so hard to deal with.

So "skid marks" in underwear meaning a sign of constipation & needs to get x-tray & a GI? My son has little skid marks in his underwear once or twice weekly & I always think that he needs to work on better wiping hygiene. He would comment that his butt itches because he does not wipe well. He has no poop or pee accident at home or school.

How nice for you that your kid has never had an accident. This comment was addressed to the OP whose hold has had multiple accidents in the last month

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was scared of the loud flushing sound the toilets made and would try to hold it till he couldn't. When my son communicate this with me I worked with his teacher and we came up with a solution.
Try to speak with your daughter.

Ha, I thought my daughter was the only kid scared of the loud flusher! She ended up with a UTI before we figured out the problem and worked with the teacher (who flushed for her)

That poor, over-burdened teacher. I mean that sincerely. Great. Now we have teachers who literally have to do everything for their students.

[Anonymous]

And, to OP Mom from a school clinic tech;

We are not allowed to even store changes of clothes, to include new underwear, in our clinics. A potty accident at least at my school is handled through the classroom teacher and front office. So if a student past second grade(lots of teachers in K-1) make students have one extra stored outfit)wets their pants you the parent get a call to bring a change of clothes. Huge waste of time for everyone.

As PPs said techs can’t get involved with cleaning up biohazards, or changing diapers or assisting a child with hanging clothes. It’s a biohazard and we collectively don’t have the training or specialized sterile environment. Privacy and safety issue, too. Think of the litigation if I stripped a child of his clothes (I’m female) in a school bathroom.

Think this through, OP. Parents like you make me angry.