School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

As a mandated reporter, if one of my students had had 3 poop accidents in 6 weeks, I would start to consider reporting at least to counseling/admin because even if it’s not sexual abuse, it suggests that there’s a medical issue not being addressed which is neglect which we are required to report as well.

You don’t seem to understand the threshold of what we are required to report. It’s if we have reason to SUSPECT neglect or abuse (mental, physical, sexual) or neglect is happening. We do not have to have rock solid proof. And if later it is discovered the child was suffering neglect or abuse and there were signs and red flags teachers never reported, we can lose our license. It’s a legal mandate we report.

So for OP, if she is responding pissily to these incidents and not addressing and the kid keeps pooping all over herself, yeah, at some point a teacher or counselor or nurse may have to report there’s an issue not being handled at home. Whether CPS investigates is a different story but it would be documented we were concerned and fulfilled our mandate to report.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure who is more crazy. The OP who doesn’t feel like getting her daughter or the teacher who thinks the kid is being sexually abused. WTF? I was a K teacher aid for 2 years and dealt with a bunch of accidents. There was also another kid who ended up with a partial bowel obstruction from holding it in too much. Some kids have anxieties about bathroom issues and others have bathroom issues because of generalized anxiety. But most are nervous and don’t want to ask to go.

Guess what? When teachers are trained to recognize possible signs of abuse, one sign listed is having a bunch of bathroom accidents. If you are a teacher, you know that. You may not put any credence in it. Which is worrisome because if you’ve taught more than a couple years, chances are you have taught a child that was molested and if you keep teaching, you will have several. But they will slip under your radar because you won’t even consider abuse.

So when someone has an accident in K, the teachers call in suspected child abuse? No, they don’t. They know the signs, but they know it is rare. As a parent and a teacher and a wife of a doctor. This is how you handle it.

Medical issues? Constipation causes peeing accidents (pressing on bladder)!It also causes diarrhea (moving around stoppage) or massive uncontrollable bowel functions if any passes. A partial BO can cause retching, vomiting, stomach pains, and bladder bowel issues. Many kids get constipated because they aren’t drinking and moving as much as they did in preschool and summer. A simple stomach bug could be the issue too

Mental health issues? Fearful of bathrooms, nervous in class, anxiety of peeing alone or near other students. Unable to take pants off ( don’t get me started on kids with one piece pant jumper, overalls, buttoned pants, etc... ) Anxiety makes kids forget they have to go. Some kids don’t like to raise their hand. I can see the potty dance. They don’t want to miss recess or something special in school. They flat out forget to ask. This also leads to cobstipation. Some kids just won’t poop in school - ever.

Trauma. If this were an older child or further into the school year, I may go there after ruling out other stuff. But this child is brand new to any type of schooling, it is her first year, and the school year is only 6 weeks in. My gut is telling me constipation due to bathroom anxieties and dehydration. A terrible but common combo for young K students. Most young kids get the constipations and BO’s in early Fall. It takes a few weeks for the affects to start showing.

That is the order a normal teacher goes thru. Anyone who jumps to sexually abused on a child with no former accidents, no former schooling, and only 6 weeks in, is ridiculous. Have some common sense and be compassionate to the child and family. Not judgey immediately, which is exactly what you all are doing to the mom.

At least considering abuse may be a factor IS being compassionate to the child. I know because I was that child and I had a glaring sign that adults ignored. I wish someone had the compassion to give me a second look. I will pay the price of that my entire life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a mandated reporter, if one of my students had had 3 poop accidents in 6 weeks, I would start to consider reporting at least to counseling/admin because even if it’s not sexual abuse, it suggests that there’s a medical issue not being addressed which is neglect which we are required to report as well.

You don’t seem to understand the threshold of what we are required to report. It’s if we have reason to SUSPECT neglect or abuse (mental, physical, sexual) or neglect is happening. We do not have to have rock solid proof. And if later it is discovered the child was suffering neglect or abuse and there were signs and red flags teachers never reported, we can lose our license. It’s a legal mandate we report.

So for OP, if she is responding pissily to these incidents and not addressing and the kid keeps pooping all over herself, yeah, at some point a teacher or counselor or nurse may have to report there’s an issue not being handled at home. Whether CPS investigates is a different story but it would be documented we were concerned and fulfilled our mandate to report.

Oh for God’s sake, it wasn’t 3 poop accidents! Did you not read?? It was 2 pee accidents, and 1 poop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No she is not SN. She has 2-3 pee accidents but never poop. She does have some anxiety surrounding asking to go the the bathroom. Her K class does not have a bathroom in the classroom. They take 3 scheduled bathroom breaks as a class, but she doesn’t always utilize those teams. I wish the teacher would push her to always try during those breaks. I do not think that I should have to come take her home in the middle of the day tho. I’m sure this is something schools nurses are used to.

It's the beginning of October and this is your daughters 3rd accident? Take her to the pediatrician. This is not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mandated reporter, if one of my students had had 3 poop accidents in 6 weeks, I would start to consider reporting at least to counseling/admin because even if it’s not sexual abuse, it suggests that there’s a medical issue not being addressed which is neglect which we are required to report as well.

You don’t seem to understand the threshold of what we are required to report. It’s if we have reason to SUSPECT neglect or abuse (mental, physical, sexual) or neglect is happening. We do not have to have rock solid proof. And if later it is discovered the child was suffering neglect or abuse and there were signs and red flags teachers never reported, we can lose our license. It’s a legal mandate we report.

So for OP, if she is responding pissily to these incidents and not addressing and the kid keeps pooping all over herself, yeah, at some point a teacher or counselor or nurse may have to report there’s an issue not being handled at home. Whether CPS investigates is a different story but it would be documented we were concerned and fulfilled our mandate to report.

Oh for God’s sake, it wasn’t 3 poop accidents! Did you not read?? It was 2 pee accidents, and 1 poop.

It is still abnormal for K!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure who is more crazy. The OP who doesn’t feel like getting her daughter or the teacher who thinks the kid is being sexually abused. WTF? I was a K teacher aid for 2 years and dealt with a bunch of accidents. There was also another kid who ended up with a partial bowel obstruction from holding it in too much. Some kids have anxieties about bathroom issues and others have bathroom issues because of generalized anxiety. But most are nervous and don’t want to ask to go.

Guess what? When teachers are trained to recognize possible signs of abuse, one sign listed is having a bunch of bathroom accidents. If you are a teacher, you know that. You may not put any credence in it. Which is worrisome because if you’ve taught more than a couple years, chances are you have taught a child that was molested and if you keep teaching, you will have several. But they will slip under your radar because you won’t even consider abuse.

So when someone has an accident in K, the teachers call in suspected child abuse? No, they don’t. They know the signs, but they know it is rare. As a parent and a teacher and a wife of a doctor. This is how you handle it.

Medical issues? Constipation causes peeing accidents (pressing on bladder)!It also causes diarrhea (moving around stoppage) or massive uncontrollable bowel functions if any passes. A partial BO can cause retching, vomiting, stomach pains, and bladder bowel issues. Many kids get constipated because they aren’t drinking and moving as much as they did in preschool and summer. A simple stomach bug could be the issue too

Mental health issues? Fearful of bathrooms, nervous in class, anxiety of peeing alone or near other students. Unable to take pants off ( don’t get me started on kids with one piece pant jumper, overalls, buttoned pants, etc... ) Anxiety makes kids forget they have to go. Some kids don’t like to raise their hand. I can see the potty dance. They don’t want to miss recess or something special in school. They flat out forget to ask. This also leads to cobstipation. Some kids just won’t poop in school - ever.

Trauma. If this were an older child or further into the school year, I may go there after ruling out other stuff. But this child is brand new to any type of schooling, it is her first year, and the school year is only 6 weeks in. My gut is telling me constipation due to bathroom anxieties and dehydration. A terrible but common combo for young K students. Most young kids get the constipations and BO’s in early Fall. It takes a few weeks for the affects to start showing.

That is the order a normal teacher goes thru. Anyone who jumps to sexually abused on a child with no former accidents, no former schooling, and only 6 weeks in, is ridiculous. Have some common sense and be compassionate to the child and family. Not judgey immediately, which is exactly what you all are doing to the mom.

At least considering abuse may be a factor IS being compassionate to the child. I know because I was that child and I had a glaring sign that adults ignored. I wish someone had the compassion to give me a second look. I will pay the price of that my entire life.

Nope, sorry you are projecting your story into this. You don’t go to abuse for a child with zero accidents before school started and a few pees and 1 poop after school started. Never ever. This is a common bathroom anxiety probably compaounded with constipation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure who is more crazy. The OP who doesn’t feel like getting her daughter or the teacher who thinks the kid is being sexually abused. WTF? I was a K teacher aid for 2 years and dealt with a bunch of accidents. There was also another kid who ended up with a partial bowel obstruction from holding it in too much. Some kids have anxieties about bathroom issues and others have bathroom issues because of generalized anxiety. But most are nervous and don’t want to ask to go.

Guess what? When teachers are trained to recognize possible signs of abuse, one sign listed is having a bunch of bathroom accidents. If you are a teacher, you know that. You may not put any credence in it. Which is worrisome because if you’ve taught more than a couple years, chances are you have taught a child that was molested and if you keep teaching, you will have several. But they will slip under your radar because you won’t even consider abuse.

So when someone has an accident in K, the teachers call in suspected child abuse? No, they don’t. They know the signs, but they know it is rare. As a parent and a teacher and a wife of a doctor. This is how you handle it.

Medical issues? Constipation causes peeing accidents (pressing on bladder)!It also causes diarrhea (moving around stoppage) or massive uncontrollable bowel functions if any passes. A partial BO can cause retching, vomiting, stomach pains, and bladder bowel issues. Many kids get constipated because they aren’t drinking and moving as much as they did in preschool and summer. A simple stomach bug could be the issue too

Mental health issues? Fearful of bathrooms, nervous in class, anxiety of peeing alone or near other students. Unable to take pants off ( don’t get me started on kids with one piece pant jumper, overalls, buttoned pants, etc... ) Anxiety makes kids forget they have to go. Some kids don’t like to raise their hand. I can see the potty dance. They don’t want to miss recess or something special in school. They flat out forget to ask. This also leads to cobstipation. Some kids just won’t poop in school - ever.

Trauma. If this were an older child or further into the school year, I may go there after ruling out other stuff. But this child is brand new to any type of schooling, it is her first year, and the school year is only 6 weeks in. My gut is telling me constipation due to bathroom anxieties and dehydration. A terrible but common combo for young K students. Most young kids get the constipations and BO’s in early Fall. It takes a few weeks for the affects to start showing.

That is the order a normal teacher goes thru. Anyone who jumps to sexually abused on a child with no former accidents, no former schooling, and only 6 weeks in, is ridiculous. Have some common sense and be compassionate to the child and family. Not judgey immediately, which is exactly what you all are doing to the mom.

At least considering abuse may be a factor IS being compassionate to the child. I know because I was that child and I had a glaring sign that adults ignored. I wish someone had the compassion to give me a second look. I will pay the price of that my entire life.

Nope, sorry you are projecting your story into this. You don’t go to abuse for a child with zero accidents before school started and a few pees and 1 poop after school started. Never ever. This is a common bathroom anxiety probably compaounded with constipation.

I’m a kindergarten teacher. I wouldn’t assume abuse. But I would consider the possibility. As a mandated reporter, I would document and probably report. Especially given the OP’s lack of any compassion or concern.

[Anonymous]

OP has left the building, folks. Why are we still discussing this?

[Anonymous]

Why would she need a bath unless they didn't notice until it was all smeared around?

[Anonymous]

OP...is your daughter having these accidents at home as well or are they just happening at school? Does she go to the bathroom at home on her own or does she typically have to be told or reminded to go?
There was a boy in my sons 2nd grade class that wore pull ups to school. I never questioned his mom about it but when he was invited to my sons birthday party, she briefly mentioned that he sometimes doesn't make it to the bathroom on time so that's why I have him wear a pull up. I don't know if that's a being a lazy mom or she just didn't want to explain a medical reason. I didn't think they allowed kids in diapers or pull ups in public schools. He didn't see embarrassed at all. It seemed quite normal to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would she need a bath unless they didn't notice until it was all smeared around?

Why don’t you go shit your pants and get back to us on whether you needed a bath afterwards or whether you were good to go after some TP swipes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure who is more crazy. The OP who doesn’t feel like getting her daughter or the teacher who thinks the kid is being sexually abused. WTF? I was a K teacher aid for 2 years and dealt with a bunch of accidents. There was also another kid who ended up with a partial bowel obstruction from holding it in too much. Some kids have anxieties about bathroom issues and others have bathroom issues because of generalized anxiety. But most are nervous and don’t want to ask to go.

Guess what? When teachers are trained to recognize possible signs of abuse, one sign listed is having a bunch of bathroom accidents. If you are a teacher, you know that. You may not put any credence in it. Which is worrisome because if you’ve taught more than a couple years, chances are you have taught a child that was molested and if you keep teaching, you will have several. But they will slip under your radar because you won’t even consider abuse.

So when someone has an accident in K, the teachers call in suspected child abuse? No, they don’t. They know the signs, but they know it is rare. As a parent and a teacher and a wife of a doctor. This is how you handle it.

Medical issues? Constipation causes peeing accidents (pressing on bladder)!It also causes diarrhea (moving around stoppage) or massive uncontrollable bowel functions if any passes. A partial BO can cause retching, vomiting, stomach pains, and bladder bowel issues. Many kids get constipated because they aren’t drinking and moving as much as they did in preschool and summer. A simple stomach bug could be the issue too

Mental health issues? Fearful of bathrooms, nervous in class, anxiety of peeing alone or near other students. Unable to take pants off ( don’t get me started on kids with one piece pant jumper, overalls, buttoned pants, etc... ) Anxiety makes kids forget they have to go. Some kids don’t like to raise their hand. I can see the potty dance. They don’t want to miss recess or something special in school. They flat out forget to ask. This also leads to cobstipation. Some kids just won’t poop in school - ever.

Trauma. If this were an older child or further into the school year, I may go there after ruling out other stuff. But this child is brand new to any type of schooling, it is her first year, and the school year is only 6 weeks in. My gut is telling me constipation due to bathroom anxieties and dehydration. A terrible but common combo for young K students. Most young kids get the constipations and BO’s in early Fall. It takes a few weeks for the affects to start showing.

That is the order a normal teacher goes thru. Anyone who jumps to sexually abused on a child with no former accidents, no former schooling, and only 6 weeks in, is ridiculous. Have some common sense and be compassionate to the child and family. Not judgey immediately, which is exactly what you all are doing to the mom.

At least considering abuse may be a factor IS being compassionate to the child. I know because I was that child and I had a glaring sign that adults ignored. I wish someone had the compassion to give me a second look. I will pay the price of that my entire life.

Nope, sorry you are projecting your story into this. You don’t go to abuse for a child with zero accidents before school started and a few pees and 1 poop after school started. Never ever. This is a common bathroom anxiety probably compaounded with constipation.

The timing is one reason why I’d want to rule out abuse. Before she started school, she wasn’t having accidents. Now that she is around new adults and older children, she is. A friend’s daughter was molested in K by a girl in 5th who trapped her in a play structure during recess.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read all 14 pages, but on page 2, abuse popped into my mind. It’s not normal. And yes, 5-year olds can be exposed to trauma, mental, physical, and verbal abuse. They don’t know how to articulate everything so it is important to pay attention to their signals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure who is more crazy. The OP who doesn’t feel like getting her daughter or the teacher who thinks the kid is being sexually abused. WTF? I was a K teacher aid for 2 years and dealt with a bunch of accidents. There was also another kid who ended up with a partial bowel obstruction from holding it in too much. Some kids have anxieties about bathroom issues and others have bathroom issues because of generalized anxiety. But most are nervous and don’t want to ask to go.

Guess what? When teachers are trained to recognize possible signs of abuse, one sign listed is having a bunch of bathroom accidents. If you are a teacher, you know that. You may not put any credence in it. Which is worrisome because if you’ve taught more than a couple years, chances are you have taught a child that was molested and if you keep teaching, you will have several. But they will slip under your radar because you won’t even consider abuse.

So when someone has an accident in K, the teachers call in suspected child abuse? No, they don’t. They know the signs, but they know it is rare. As a parent and a teacher and a wife of a doctor. This is how you handle it.

Medical issues? Constipation causes peeing accidents (pressing on bladder)!It also causes diarrhea (moving around stoppage) or massive uncontrollable bowel functions if any passes. A partial BO can cause retching, vomiting, stomach pains, and bladder bowel issues. Many kids get constipated because they aren’t drinking and moving as much as they did in preschool and summer. A simple stomach bug could be the issue too

Mental health issues? Fearful of bathrooms, nervous in class, anxiety of peeing alone or near other students. Unable to take pants off ( don’t get me started on kids with one piece pant jumper, overalls, buttoned pants, etc... ) Anxiety makes kids forget they have to go. Some kids don’t like to raise their hand. I can see the potty dance. They don’t want to miss recess or something special in school. They flat out forget to ask. This also leads to cobstipation. Some kids just won’t poop in school - ever.

Trauma. If this were an older child or further into the school year, I may go there after ruling out other stuff. But this child is brand new to any type of schooling, it is her first year, and the school year is only 6 weeks in. My gut is telling me constipation due to bathroom anxieties and dehydration. A terrible but common combo for young K students. Most young kids get the constipations and BO’s in early Fall. It takes a few weeks for the affects to start showing.

That is the order a normal teacher goes thru. Anyone who jumps to sexually abused on a child with no former accidents, no former schooling, and only 6 weeks in, is ridiculous. Have some common sense and be compassionate to the child and family. Not judgey immediately, which is exactly what you all are doing to the mom.

Except there HAVE been 2 other incidents in the past 6 weeks since school has started.

Additionaly, under what indoctrination does being "the wife of a doctor" authorize you to dispense aesculapian assessments?

I'm a physician and I could never imagine my husband utilizing that his wife is a doctor in an attempt to sound authoritative re: physiology & anatomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a mandated reporter, if one of my students had had 3 poop accidents in 6 weeks, I would start to consider reporting at least to counseling/admin because even if it’s not sexual abuse, it suggests that there’s a medical issue not being addressed which is neglect which we are required to report as well.

You don’t seem to understand the threshold of what we are required to report. It’s if we have reason to SUSPECT neglect or abuse (mental, physical, sexual) or neglect is happening. We do not have to have rock solid proof. And if later it is discovered the child was suffering neglect or abuse and there were signs and red flags teachers never reported, we can lose our license. It’s a legal mandate we report.

So for OP, if she is responding pissily to these incidents and not addressing and the kid keeps pooping all over herself, yeah, at some point a teacher or counselor or nurse may have to report there’s an issue not being handled at home. Whether CPS investigates is a different story but it would be documented we were concerned and fulfilled our mandate to report.

My child has chronic constipation that wasn't diagnosed until the 1st grade despite us telling the pediatrician, who tested for UTIs. We thought it was just that she was inattentive or too nervous to ask to use the bathroom, and she continued to have a few accidents in kindergarten. I'm so glad her teacher didn't jump to extreme conclusions because it would have sucked to have been suspected of child abuse.