School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

Changing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 5yo and 2 older children. Not one of them has ever had a “pee and poop” accident at school (or anywhere else) but if they did you bet I would leave work and pick them up. OP, please get some help for your daughter and her anxiety and for yourself and your unrealistic expectations about parenting.

Wow none of your kids has ever had an accident??

I have 3 and none of mine has at school either but at 3yo they all had at least one.

My younger two had one or two pee accidents total when they were 2-4yo, but never poop or both, and not in Kindergarten!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP's daughter was never in daycare/preschool and this is her first time away from parents most of the day, on most days, then I wonder if she's deliberately acting out via having "accidents" to come home. Aside from accidents, how is she feeling about kindergarten, OP?

Regardless, this isn't normal and you gotta work with your kid. It's not the responsibility of the school to clean up a 5 year old.

Or if not acting out, just afraid to use public bathrooms with a group of kids. OP, this is a lot of accidents to be having and must be really stressful for your daughter. Talk to her about what is happening and work with teacher to work out a solution.

[Anonymous]

I know a child who had accidents through the first grade (encopresis) and the parent had to come into the school often to clean up the child, because as others said, the school is not allowed to do this legally. OP, please go to the pediatrician and let him/her know what is going on. You may need to consult with a gastroenterologist depending on how common the soiling accidents are.

[Anonymous]

One more, none of my kids had an accident in Kindergarten. Heck, dd started preschool at 3 and never once had any kind of accident. Schools are not equipped to wash poop from a child, logistics is terrible for that. Schools can't do this, you need to take your kid to a doctor. My fist thought was kid is not feeling well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No she is not SN. She has 2-3 pee accidents but never poop. She does have some anxiety surrounding asking to go the the bathroom. Her K class does not have a bathroom in the classroom. They take 3 scheduled bathroom breaks as a class, but she doesn’t always utilize those teams. I wish the teacher would push her to always try during those breaks. I do not think that I should have to come take her home in the middle of the day tho. I’m sure this is something schools nurses are used to.

Wow! In a regular school? Your kid must have been in a daycare and you now presume that daycare equal kindergarten in a school. It doesn't. I would look into her speaking up at school. Does she speak at all at kindergarten? You say she is not SN, great, but not speaking when you have to go to bathroom is not the norm. I would see a doctor and a psychologist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not daycare. They are not permitted to assist her in getting cleaned up.

Plus 1 Nor should they have to.
—— teacher & parent

[Anonymous]

See the pediatrician and hopefully her classmates won’t remember it. I always feel bad that all I remembered about an early classmate was his many accidents. However, I know so many people with similar stories about a K or 1st classmate wetting themselves. I teach sixth graders and some are terrified of the bathrooms because they’ve heard they are dangerous (thanks, DCUM). Caught a student doing the clutching thing a couple days ago. Does that work? I don’t think that’s how bladders and penises work. As a result, I’m a big advocate for reminding students to go. I only refuse passes the last 5 min before 3 pm dismissal because that’s school policy. Kids sneak out of the building.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not daycare. They are not permitted to assist her in getting cleaned up.

Plus 1 Nor should they have to.
—— teacher & parent

It is very risky legally. A friend of many years teaches students with severe cognitive impairments. All are diapered. When diaper changes occur, it is on a schedule and two adults must be present. One changes. The other observed and records the change on a document. It’s almost like a transcript, with a start and finish time and any abnormalities or concerns. One student, an adolescent, can only be changed by his mother as part of a settlement so he sits in urine and feces all day sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. People on this board clearly have not been around a lot of kids in school. One time accidents like this are not common but not unusual. It happened to my one kid in K. An explosion like yours. This kid has been regular since he was a baby. But the class kept getting worked up all day, and he was afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. Classroom misbehavior made (and still makes) him very anxious. He usually didn’t go outside designated times. He HATED the school bathrooms, so he avoided them to the extent possible. He held everything until he couldn’t. It was a BIG mess. Awful. Embarrassing. He had never had a problem before or since. I never had problems as a child, but Thankfully, I was aware of incidents when I was in my school days (a couple — yes more than one going as far as SIXTH grade). The older ones weren’t explosions per se but kids were sent home. One was a relative and another I knew from overhearing a discussion my mom had with s neighbor. Last year I ran a school program right after school. I took over the specials room after a kindergarten class, and yep, the teacher and I cleaned up messes a couple of times. (The janitorial staff took too long to come before my students arrived.)

All this is to say ... your child is not alone. If this is a regular problem, look into it further. My other kid was a withholder — which was waaay bad. If it’s a one time thing, move on.

Finally a rational thinker. +1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This her first year in school, we did not do preschool. She does not have accidents at home, and hasn’t for years. According to to the teacher, she encourages my DD to try and DD refuses. I talked to her tonight about how she has to try when the teacher tells her to, and she said okay. She did mention there is a boy at her table who laughs at her, and then mentioned another girl who rushes/pushes her when walking down the steps(she does not like stairs) So there definitely could be some anxiety.

-OP

This is a ringing endorsement for at least one year of pre-school.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is stressed out by school, probably because she didn’t have preschool experience? I will say, in my daughter’s K class last year there were kids who had pee accidents, and I remember there was one poop accident. It’s definitly a thing in K, probably related to stress. It’s not uncommon to have one or two accidents.

[Anonymous]

OP it’s not normal and you need to look into it. I can think of 3-4 things right away. Encoparesis, lactose/other intolerance, illness, bullying, shyness ...

[Anonymous]

Get a dr note that she has frequent urination and needs extra scheduled bathroom breaks and have her sent at regular intervals.

They were right to call you. They can’t touch your child. Particularly her private areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG. People on this board clearly have not been around a lot of kids in school. One time accidents like this are not common but not unusual. It happened to my one kid in K. An explosion like yours. This kid has been regular since he was a baby. But the class kept getting worked up all day, and he was afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. Classroom misbehavior made (and still makes) him very anxious. He usually didn’t go outside designated times. He HATED the school bathrooms, so he avoided them to the extent possible. He held everything until he couldn’t. It was a BIG mess. Awful. Embarrassing. He had never had a problem before or since. I never had problems as a child, but Thankfully, I was aware of incidents when I was in my school days (a couple — yes more than one going as far as SIXTH grade). The older ones weren’t explosions per se but kids were sent home. One was a relative and another I knew from overhearing a discussion my mom had with s neighbor. Last year I ran a school program right after school. I took over the specials room after a kindergarten class, and yep, the teacher and I cleaned up messes a couple of times. (The janitorial staff took too long to come before my students arrived.)

All this is to say ... your child is not alone. If this is a regular problem, look into it further. My other kid was a withholder — which was waaay bad. If it’s a one time thing, move on.

Finally a rational thinker. +1000

Former elementary teacher and admin this. This times a million. A rare accident like this is totally normal.