School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG. People on this board clearly have not been around a lot of kids in school. One time accidents like this are not common but not unusual. It happened to my one kid in K. An explosion like yours. This kid has been regular since he was a baby. But the class kept getting worked up all day, and he was afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. Classroom misbehavior made (and still makes) him very anxious. He usually didn’t go outside designated times. He HATED the school bathrooms, so he avoided them to the extent possible. He held everything until he couldn’t. It was a BIG mess. Awful. Embarrassing. He had never had a problem before or since. I never had problems as a child, but Thankfully, I was aware of incidents when I was in my school days (a couple — yes more than one going as far as SIXTH grade). The older ones weren’t explosions per se but kids were sent home. One was a relative and another I knew from overhearing a discussion my mom had with s neighbor. Last year I ran a school program right after school. I took over the specials room after a kindergarten class, and yep, the teacher and I cleaned up messes a couple of times. (The janitorial staff took too long to come before my students arrived.)

All this is to say ... your child is not alone. If this is a regular problem, look into it further. My other kid was a withholder — which was waaay bad. If it’s a one time thing, move on.

The part that is really not normal is not the child but op’s reaction - I can’t believe I was called. Surely the nurse is used to this. Etc. it borders on seeming like a troll.

That said, I agree it makes sense to talk to her. Figure out if she is afraid of the bathroom or something and has been trying to hold it all day. Poor kid.

I've experienced enough of these types of parents to know that OP isn't a troll. I currently know of a parent who is livid that the school health tech won't just administer IV antibiotics for a student with a temporary port who needs medication administered during the school day. One of the parents has to come to school every day to do it and just can't understand why the school won't do it for them.

This is a bit of a different situation and if there is a nurse on site, it would make sense for them to do it.

What public elementary school has a nurse on site every day? We are in FCPS and have a clinic aide. She went through a two week training session re: basic first aide and common issues, but nothing like this. Administering IV medication via a temporary port is way above her pay grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG. People on this board clearly have not been around a lot of kids in school. One time accidents like this are not common but not unusual. It happened to my one kid in K. An explosion like yours. This kid has been regular since he was a baby. But the class kept getting worked up all day, and he was afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. Classroom misbehavior made (and still makes) him very anxious. He usually didn’t go outside designated times. He HATED the school bathrooms, so he avoided them to the extent possible. He held everything until he couldn’t. It was a BIG mess. Awful. Embarrassing. He had never had a problem before or since. I never had problems as a child, but Thankfully, I was aware of incidents when I was in my school days (a couple — yes more than one going as far as SIXTH grade). The older ones weren’t explosions per se but kids were sent home. One was a relative and another I knew from overhearing a discussion my mom had with s neighbor. Last year I ran a school program right after school. I took over the specials room after a kindergarten class, and yep, the teacher and I cleaned up messes a couple of times. (The janitorial staff took too long to come before my students arrived.)

All this is to say ... your child is not alone. If this is a regular problem, look into it further. My other kid was a withholder — which was waaay bad. If it’s a one time thing, move on.

The part that is really not normal is not the child but op’s reaction - I can’t believe I was called. Surely the nurse is used to this. Etc. it borders on seeming like a troll.

That said, I agree it makes sense to talk to her. Figure out if she is afraid of the bathroom or something and has been trying to hold it all day. Poor kid.

I've experienced enough of these types of parents to know that OP isn't a troll. I currently know of a parent who is livid that the school health tech won't just administer IV antibiotics for a student with a temporary port who needs medication administered during the school day. One of the parents has to come to school every day to do it and just can't understand why the school won't do it for them.

I sympathize for working parents. That would be a huge inconvenience and disruption in the work day depending how long commute is.

I ended up quitting when my oldest was in kindergarten. I missed so much work that year. Between the 14 snow days, 10 two hour delays, teacher work days, sicknesses, doc appointments, sports and my kids crying that I was the only mom not to come to the class parties, I decided to stay home. I remember having to pick up my sick kid but not wanting to miss a very important meeting. I had my assistant sit in the car with my sleeping sick kid for an hour. In hindsight, I should have just missed the meeting.

Kindergarten kicked my ass compared to daycare.

Op, I hope we have a mild winter without too many snow days.

Now I’m home full time with 3 kids and getting called is no big deal.

So you're a single parent?

No, my husband works long unpredictable hours. I had both morning and afternoon pick up duty. DH also earned 8-10x what I earned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No she is not SN. She has 2-3 pee accidents but never poop. She does have some anxiety surrounding asking to go the the bathroom. Her K class does not have a bathroom in the classroom. They take 3 scheduled bathroom breaks as a class, but she doesn’t always utilize those teams. I wish the teacher would push her to always try during those breaks. I do not think that I should have to come take her home in the middle of the day tho. I’m sure this is something schools nurses are used to.

Have your husband come home then. No need for you to do everything.

[Anonymous]

If spouse earns 8-10x whatever then surely he has the clout to step out for a couple hours for a family emergency.

Sheesh, that's why I worked my butt off before having kids. also make 7 figures. Family first, full stop. Clients can wait, team can cover, calls reschedule. BFD. I feel sorry for people who feel they can't move an hour of work around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If spouse earns 8-10x whatever then surely he has the clout to step out for a couple hours for a family emergency.

Sheesh, that's why I worked my butt off before having kids. also make 7 figures. Family first, full stop. Clients can wait, team can cover, calls reschedule. BFD. I feel sorry for people who feel they can't move an hour of work around.

DH is a surgeon and his surgeries can last all day so no, he can’t move an hour of work around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This her first year in school, we did not do preschool. She does not have accidents at home, and hasn’t for years. According to to the teacher, she encourages my DD to try and DD refuses. I talked to her tonight about how she has to try when the teacher tells her to, and she said okay. She did mention there is a boy at her table who laughs at her, and then mentioned another girl who rushes/pushes her when walking down the steps(she does not like stairs) So there definitely could be some anxiety.

-OP

This is really helpful OP. It sounds like this is just at school, and she is at a new school/kindergarten which can be a big change.

I would press her and ask more about if she has any issues/fears related to the bathrooms there (like the loud flushers as some have said) and personally I would tell her that she needs to go in and try whenever the teacher asks her (and tell the teacher that too). Also maybe a reward for every week she goes without an accident.

This does not sound like a medical issue or mental health issue (for lack of a better phrase) to me. Just a little girl adjusting to a new environment .

I dont think she will be teased over this in K especially if the teacher is handling discreetly.

The other stuff your DD tells you sounds normal to me (about the other kids)- but it wouldn’t hurt to ask the teacher how she is doing socially and if she seems happy etc at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If spouse earns 8-10x whatever then surely he has the clout to step out for a couple hours for a family emergency.

Sheesh, that's why I worked my butt off before having kids. also make 7 figures. Family first, full stop. Clients can wait, team can cover, calls reschedule. BFD. I feel sorry for people who feel they can't move an hour of work around.

DH is a surgeon and his surgeries can last all day so no, he can’t move an hour of work around.

Yep. Not everyone can just “step out” for an hour or two. Sheesh! There are many many jobs where this is simply not possible except in a dire emergency.

[Anonymous]

Earlier PP, health techs are not registered nurses, nor certified nurse assistants. They generally need a high school diploma or GED. These are not people qualified to access a PICC line and administer IV medication.

[Anonymous]

My daughter had an accident in first grade because of a stomach bug and restricting when she could go to the bathroom. The nurse called me to go clean her and pick her up and I could not have been there faster! I cleaned her up as much as could and put new clothes on her and then brought her home and took a bath. Why would u want her at school after this. Sorry OP it’s not the schools job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If spouse earns 8-10x whatever then surely he has the clout to step out for a couple hours for a family emergency.

Sheesh, that's why I worked my butt off before having kids. also make 7 figures. Family first, full stop. Clients can wait, team can cover, calls reschedule. BFD. I feel sorry for people who feel they can't move an hour of work around.

DH is a surgeon and his surgeries can last all day so no, he can’t move an hour of work around.

Yep. Not everyone can just “step out” for an hour or two. Sheesh! There are many many jobs where this is simply not possible except in a dire emergency.

Then both parents in a family shouldn't have these types of jobs. It's simply irresponsible and neglectful to have kids in that case.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PPs that is neither normal nor unusual. The school health tech can’t clean her up but most kids that age can clean themselves up with diaper wipes and a change of clothes. Many school nurses have spare underwear and pants but you can send them in with a container of diaper wipes and a ziplock bag to put all the dirty stuff in.
And read “it’s no accident” and consider miralax.

[Anonymous]

It’s insane that you wouldn’t want to come get her. She was probably embarrassed and you were going to let a stranger clean her up? Just bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If spouse earns 8-10x whatever then surely he has the clout to step out for a couple hours for a family emergency.

Sheesh, that's why I worked my butt off before having kids. also make 7 figures. Family first, full stop. Clients can wait, team can cover, calls reschedule. BFD. I feel sorry for people who feel they can't move an hour of work around.

DH is a surgeon and his surgeries can last all day so no, he can’t move an hour of work around.

Yep. Not everyone can just “step out” for an hour or two. Sheesh! There are many many jobs where this is simply not possible except in a dire emergency.

Then both parents in a family shouldn't have these types of jobs. It's simply irresponsible and neglectful to have kids in that case.

Who said they did?? The few families I know in this situation have FT nannies or are prepared with alternative arrangements (close family members etc). They get their sick kids picked up in a timely manner just like everyone else.

FWIW my DH has a job like this, and I do not. This was in response to the “well tell your DH to go get her at school” response- there are jobs where the other parent CAN’T.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If spouse earns 8-10x whatever then surely he has the clout to step out for a couple hours for a family emergency.

Sheesh, that's why I worked my butt off before having kids. also make 7 figures. Family first, full stop. Clients can wait, team can cover, calls reschedule. BFD. I feel sorry for people who feel they can't move an hour of work around.

DH is a surgeon and his surgeries can last all day so no, he can’t move an hour of work around.

Yep. Not everyone can just “step out” for an hour or two. Sheesh! There are many many jobs where this is simply not possible except in a dire emergency.

Then both parents in a family shouldn't have these types of jobs. It's simply irresponsible and neglectful to have kids in that case.

Pp here. And that is why I was responsible for the kids. DH helps out when he can but he is out the door before any of us are awake and it is rare he is home before kids are done with all their after school activities.

[Anonymous]

I actually understand where the OP is coming from-- with my current work situation its no big deal to run up to school- but a few years ago this would have been a much bigger deal. Something I would have done immediately for an injured or sick kid- but a kid who needed to change clothes?
Also- and I'm hesitant to say to much- but my DC definitely has the problem, and much much more frequently. We have put things in the IEP about it.
I would strongly encourage you to read It's No Accident. I strongly suspect that your daughter is severely constipated. She could still be having regular bowel movements- but their is probably a fecal mass pressing on her bladder, which causes the urinary accidents and also eventually poop leaks out. Does she have 'skid marks' in her underwear? I should have recognized this as a sign of constipation a year before I did- we kept on trying to teach better wiping hygiene. Go to the pediatrician, tell the pediatrician about the accidents and any other signs. Insist on an xray. Get to a good GI.
Please don't dismiss this. I waited years thinking that occasional accidents were normal, and that there were other explanations. Now my poor DC's insides are so messed up, it is so hard to deal with.