School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

Wait - it's early October. Your kid hasn't even been in school a whole two months and has already had 3 pee accidents and poop accident? Not normal.

HOWEVER I'm not sure if it's your child or if it's because your school only allows the kids to go at specific times - that is also NOT normal. Kids should be allowed to go to the bathroom whenever they need to. In our school, all the younger kid classrooms have their own bathrooms.

Have the accidents always been during specials classes? Maybe you need to talk to the administration about how the specials teachers aren't letting children go to the bathroom during class.

[Anonymous]

Teachers and nurses are not allowed to touch your daughter’s private parts. Potty train her.

-teacher

[Anonymous]

Mom of 5 year old, and no it’s not normal to have accidents. Sometimes we might get a “I need to pee RIGHT NOW!” while driving a long time but not during the day in buildings. I can’t even remember the last time we had to clean poop out of clothing. Sometimes my 3 year old might be late getting to the potty, so there will be a change of clothes, but never just not trying and never a huge mess requiring a bath.

They both need help wiping poops though. But yeah, pooping in undies is definitely not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to pile on, but it seems OP needs a little bit of a pile on.

This is not something ES teachers are paid to deal with, and not something an ES nurse is really equipped for or interested in handling.

It is also not common for a typically developing 5 year-old who is not dealing with trauma and is not in their very first school environment to have three accidents by early October.

You need to have your eye on this, either by talking to the pediatrician or by talking to your daughter about using the available bathroom time. Maybe practice (role play) asking the teacher for permission to use the bathroom.

It’s not even that we aren’t paid to do it, though that’s true. We LEGALLY can lose our license and open ourselves up to criminal accusations for touching your kids’ private parts. Absolutely no question cannot do it no matter what. Op has to come pick her kid up to clean a poop accident.

[Anonymous]

I’m an elementary school teacher and this is not normal at all - it’s at the far, far side of abnormal. You need to take her home and clean her up, stress to her that she needs to try to go at every opportunity, and ASK if she needs to go outside of those times. Her teachers will not need any convincing to let her go at this point. Once a student has one accident I let them go whenever they ask, as soon as they ask until the parent tells me otherwise. I’d rather they abuse the bathroom policy than be the kid that has accidents all the time.

[Anonymous]

In preschool only certain teachers were certified to change diapers ... and touch bodily fluids ... def not someone in a school ...

[Anonymous]

OP, you are 100% wrong here. Clean up your attitude about teachers along with cleaning up after your child. Schools are not staffed to bathe your child after a poop accident.

[Anonymous]

OP, 3 pee and one poop accident is not normal for two months into K. If your daughter is too shy to ask when she needs to go, she may be impacted at this point (and then she suddenly couldn't control it anymore and that is why she pooped herself).

Instead of complaining that the school called you, you need to take your daughter to the doctor and get this figured out with the school. This is a problem that will just get worse if you don't address it.

[Anonymous]

I suggest you don't express your annoyance over having to go pick her up over this to anyone you know. They will think less of you.

[Anonymous]

I teach 4 year old pre-K and I’m not even supposed to clean up a child’s accident per our licensing. I will, of course, but I’m technically not legally allowed.

That said, I have dealt with Zero accidents in the past 2 years. The last one was a boy who was not neurotypical.

You might want to go to the doctor and ask about constipation. She might be constipated (even if she poops regularly) and that’s causing both the pee and poop accidents)

[Anonymous]

What is this "school nurse" of which you speak. Is it still 1982?

[Anonymous]

OP, outside of a SN classroom poop accidents are not normal in K and not something school staff are prepared to deal with. I hope you took your little one home for the day - poor kiddo.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t read all of the responses. I think it is appropriate that they called and you should WANT to be called, no?? I would be!

Schools are NOT equipped to assist kids in cleaning themselves up of vomit or poop. It isn’t daycare.

A simple pee accident I could possibly see them handling by just asking the kid to change- themselves (they do keep extra clothing in the nurse’s office) but I’m not even sure about that. Think about it:

Vomit= sick. Needs to go home.
Poop= unsanitary, needs a bath. Needs to go home.

frankly I don’t think we should want anyone at public schools (kindergarten and above) helping kids clean themselves up in that way. They do not have the time, and it is a privacy/liability issue.

Kindergarten is very very different from daycare in this way, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, 3 pee and one poop accident is not normal for two months into K. If your daughter is too shy to ask when she needs to go, she may be impacted at this point (and then she suddenly couldn't control it anymore and that is why she pooped herself).

Instead of complaining that the school called you, you need to take your daughter to the doctor and get this figured out with the school. This is a problem that will just get worse if you don't address it.

I have to agree. OP- this isn’t normal. I could see a rare pee accident as normal in kindergarten but definitely not 3 times in 2 months. I peed my pants once in K because another kid was taking a long time in the (in-classroom) restroom. I remember them giving me spare clothes to change into and rest of day was as normal. But it was once, and it wasn’t poop (and it was the 80s)

I’d talk to your DD- is it at all possible this is a logistical issue- maybe she is very very shy and doesn’t want to ask the teacher to go? Or something in the bathroom that’s an issue? (Older kids? Or even problems opening the door?) waiting too long to ask, and leaving it until the very last minute? You never know- kids are strange at times, in ways we don’t even think of.

Does this happen at home? Last year in preschool?

I’d make a doctor appointment for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, 3 pee and one poop accident is not normal for two months into K. If your daughter is too shy to ask when she needs to go, she may be impacted at this point (and then she suddenly couldn't control it anymore and that is why she pooped herself).

Instead of complaining that the school called you, you need to take your daughter to the doctor and get this figured out with the school. This is a problem that will just get worse if you don't address it.

I have to agree. OP- this isn’t normal. I could see a rare pee accident as normal in kindergarten but definitely not 3 times in 2 months. I peed my pants once in K because another kid was taking a long time in the (in-classroom) restroom. I remember them giving me spare clothes to change into and rest of day was as normal. But it was once, and it wasn’t poop (and it was the 80s)

I’d talk to your DD- is it at all possible this is a logistical issue- maybe she is very very shy and doesn’t want to ask the teacher to go? Or something in the bathroom that’s an issue? (Older kids? Or even problems opening the door?) waiting too long to ask, and leaving it until the very last minute? You never know- kids are strange at times, in ways we don’t even think of.

Does this happen at home? Last year in preschool?

I’d make a doctor appointment for her.

ETA: I missed what you wrote about her being anxious about asking to use the bathroom. That makes total total sense. I would email her teacher and ask for help with that. I would think the teacher would be fine to send her an extra time or two proactively for awhile, no? Much easier than dealing with accidents.