Ex Wife getting married to guy she had an affair with--question

[Anonymous]

Lawyer here, she will not be allowed to move out of the area with the kids unless you consent.

It's not about the affair, it's about the move. The judge wouldnt let her take the kids with her to a new job out of state either. Although since the underlying reason is an affair a judge will not be more inclined to bend the best interests of the children rule.

Consult s local attorney they know this stuff off the top of their heads. Long story short she isn't going away with the kids unless you agree to it

[Anonymous]

OP here

Meeting her at 2pm today.

Also to answer a previous question. Yes he has kids but they are older 21/24. He has been married before and FYI he is closer to her dad's age than her age.

[Anonymous]

OP here

Just met with her. She told me she is taking them to GA. Said she already enrolled them in school in August. I said what??????????
I said see you in court. She said don't do this to the kids. I was like are you really saying this to me?

Terrible conversation now I need to lawyer up.
5k retainer..............

Help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she wants to move, get a lawyer OP.

Very broadly speaking, judges will grant you custody if you can keep them in same school, activities etc. (in other words, provide stability for kids.)

I would get an attorney. This could become a very big deal.

If you can do beneficial things for your kids (like keep their friendships), I think it makes sense to seek custody. However, the fact you bring up the affair so prominently makes me wonder if you are pissed at her (understandably). If so, think carefully about what is best for your kids, like considering if she’s a good mom.

[Anonymous]

Get an attorney and act fast - that's all you can do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she wants to move, get a lawyer OP.

Very broadly speaking, judges will grant you custody if you can keep them in same school, activities etc. (in other words, provide stability for kids.)

I would get an attorney. This could become a very big deal.

If you can do beneficial things for your kids (like keep their friendships), I think it makes sense to seek custody. However, the fact you bring up the affair so prominently makes me wonder if you are pissed at her (understandably). If so, think carefully about what is best for your kids, like considering if she’s a good mom.

These posters really make me mad. Who cares if she is a good mom? Does anyone care if he's a good dad? Someone unilaterally removing children from a situation where they have the ability to see and bond with both engaged parents on a daily basis is being a bad parent. Full stop. Her being a good mom doesn't give her the right to abscond with their kids.

A woman who made the decision to have an affair and break up the home and THEN makes a decision to try to move without working out the details with dad is really making a series of damaging and negligent parenting decisions. Being mean to dad (just like being mean to mom) IS bad parenting.

Frankly even if I was over an affair, if my spouse was moving my kids 600 miles away to be with the affair partner I would find that particularly unseemly and be less likely to try to be understanding to their plight. But that is just a consequence of breaking up your marriage for an affair and trying to abscond with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she wants to move, get a lawyer OP.

Very broadly speaking, judges will grant you custody if you can keep them in same school, activities etc. (in other words, provide stability for kids.)

I would get an attorney. This could become a very big deal.

If you can do beneficial things for your kids (like keep their friendships), I think it makes sense to seek custody. However, the fact you bring up the affair so prominently makes me wonder if you are pissed at her (understandably). If so, think carefully about what is best for your kids, like considering if she’s a good mom.

These posters really make me mad. Who cares if she is a good mom? Does anyone care if he's a good dad? Someone unilaterally removing children from a situation where they have the ability to see and bond with both engaged parents on a daily basis is being a bad parent. Full stop. Her being a good mom doesn't give her the right to abscond with their kids.

A woman who made the decision to have an affair and break up the home and THEN makes a decision to try to move without working out the details with dad is really making a series of damaging and negligent parenting decisions. Being mean to dad (just like being mean to mom) IS bad parenting.

Frankly even if I was over an affair, if my spouse was moving my kids 600 miles away to be with the affair partner I would find that particularly unseemly and be less likely to try to be understanding to their plight. But that is just a consequence of breaking up your marriage for an affair and trying to abscond with the kids.

And FWIW I am a woman and a mom.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you will be forced into mediation and I'm sure your lawyer is going to tell you that. It is true that your ex's affair and any other dirt that was brought up in the divorce is irrelevant to the custody battle.

[Anonymous]

It will likely matter a great deal to a judge's decision that you do see the kids nearly every day. Don't ever mention the affair. It's not relevant to where the kids live.

[Anonymous]

The concern I would have is that her wealthy new spouse will be able to outspend you in a custody battle.

[Anonymous]

^hit send too soon. I don't say that to suggest you should give up but to suggest you should focus on obtaining sources of liquidity just in case you need them.

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but I have a question. Is there any way a judge can compell the mother pay for the father's legal bills since she's the one trying to change the custody agreement?

[Anonymous]

Stop talking about the affair, OP. Stop making desparaging remarks about her new husband. Since it doesn’t sound like either of you have abusive tendencies, this is about what is best for your kids, regardless of how the marriage ended.

When you bring up the affair or make a snarky side comment about her new husband, people will question if you are doing this for revenge, which isn’t the case. Break the habit of talking about the affair, and only talk about the kids’ wellbeing. Start practicing now.

[Anonymous]

The bulk of your argument is that you now see the kids everyday and you will lose that if you move.

[Anonymous]

Op she can't leave with the kids without your consent. Ain't gonna happen. But in my practice we have negotiated for clients, usually mom's to agree to move as well for a certain sum. One client had a huge pay increase in NYC and it was worth his money to pay for his wife's ex to move as well