Ex Wife getting married to guy she had an affair with--question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of his kids and prevent the move. If that is not the case, OP and his ex need to work out a custody plan that is in the best interests of the children. 100% of decisions by the OP should be made from that perspective, regardless of what his ex does or does not do.

OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of the kids and prevent the move EVEN if his ex is a good mom and her fiance is good to the kids.

It is not in the best interests of the kids to move to a different town, away from their father, under any circumstances.

OP, you'd better expect her to try and move, and take the kids with her, and you better lawyer up now and prepare for war.

Bullshit. There are absolutely circumstances where it’s I the best best interest to move to s different town and away from a father. Better education, no dishruotion to parenting time, increased revenue even after increased travel, better schools, etcz

You seem like a hysterical parent that just wants to fight to fight to preserve the status quo of a married life that is over. Prepare for war? That’s exactly the type of mindset that supports the argument of a conflict driven parent. Stupid and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of his kids and prevent the move. If that is not the case, OP and his ex need to work out a custody plan that is in the best interests of the children. 100% of decisions by the OP should be made from that perspective, regardless of what his ex does or does not do.

OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of the kids and prevent the move EVEN if his ex is a good mom and her fiance is good to the kids.

It is not in the best interests of the kids to move to a different town, away from their father, under any circumstances.

OP, you'd better expect her to try and move, and take the kids with her, and you better lawyer up now and prepare for war.

Bullshit. There are absolutely circumstances where it’s I the best best interest to move to s different town and away from a father. Better education, no dishruotion to parenting time, increased revenue even after increased travel, better schools, etcz

You seem like a hysterical parent that just wants to fight to fight to preserve the status quo of a married life that is over. Prepare for war? That’s exactly the type of mindset that supports the argument of a conflict driven parent. Stupid and selfish.

+1. Anyone who goes around saying things like “prepare for war” is crazy and is probably a horrible influence on children.

[Anonymous]

This happened to my best friend. His ex married her boss she had been banging. Boss got a promotion that involved moving to Chicago and she casually told my friend that she would be taking the kids with her (from Alexandria) in two months time.

Their custody agreement sadly didn't address this so they had to re-fight the issue and he was eventually awarded full custody after about a dozen of us testified about how great and involved he was and how she was basically a worthless, alcoholic slut.

[Anonymous]

In this thread we discover that many women believe they "own the children" and can move them wherever they like.

[Anonymous]

Would love to hear what eventually happened to OP.

I hope the kids got to stay in DC for school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

OP is there father and sounds like he loves his kids.

Mom's boy toy has character strikes against him.

Anyone who becomes an affair partner to a married person with kids is an ass who does not deserve respect or understanding.

Sadly the kids will likely have bad feelings toward her as more and more come out. And they become older.

I would lawyer up, prevent her from leaving. Doubt I would talk to her beyond the text for child exchanges. And make sure my agreement states the kids are not to be alone with this guy. My friend was able to get that in her child custody agreement. Poor kids!

[Anonymous]

It really depends on your agreement, but I don't think any judge will agree to relocate your children at this young age, unless you travel a lot of work and her schedule is more stable. But, I will warn you, a judge will not care that she cheated with him when it comes to custody. You are allowed to move on with your life in the eyes of the court. What the court focuses on is what is in the best interest of the children....period.

I am married to a man who had 50% custody of his daughter from age 6-16, and the agreement was that no parent can't move more than 100 miles, before the age of 16. At 16, my husband was offered an amazing job here in DC for A LOT of money. She wanted to move with us and not live with her mom anymore. Her mom fought hard, but the judge asked his daughter what she wanted, and it was simple as that. She moved to DC with us. Her mom decided to relocate too, so it ended up working out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

OP is there father and sounds like he loves his kids.

Mom's boy toy has character strikes against him.

Anyone who becomes an affair partner to a married person with kids is an ass who does not deserve respect or understanding.

Sadly the kids will likely have bad feelings toward her as more and more come out. And they become older.

I would lawyer up, prevent her from leaving. Doubt I would talk to her beyond the text for child exchanges. And make sure my agreement states the kids are not to be alone with this guy. My friend was able to get that in her child custody agreement. Poor kids!

I am sorry, this is crazy. A judge will throw that provision out in a hot minute. I know this from experience. I am married to a man who left his wife and eight years later, she is still bitter. Once we were engaged and living together, the judge basically told her she can not continue to enforce this provision, and even went so far to grant him 50/50, because that is what is in the best interest of the child. No, he didn't cheat on his wife with me or period, she was just an awful human being. He met me three years after their divorce. He is a great dad and very involved in his kids lives. She would rather punish her kids because she is petty. It's really sad to watch.

And before anyone asks --- they call me bonus mom and are always happy to see us every other week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

OP is there father and sounds like he loves his kids.

Mom's boy toy has character strikes against him.

Anyone who becomes an affair partner to a married person with kids is an ass who does not deserve respect or understanding.

Sadly the kids will likely have bad feelings toward her as more and more come out. And they become older.

I would lawyer up, prevent her from leaving. Doubt I would talk to her beyond the text for child exchanges. And make sure my agreement states the kids are not to be alone with this guy. My friend was able to get that in her child custody agreement. Poor kids!

I am sorry, this is crazy. A judge will throw that provision out in a hot minute. I know this from experience. I am married to a man who left his wife and eight years later, she is still bitter. Once we were engaged and living together, the judge basically told her she can not continue to enforce this provision, and even went so far to grant him 50/50, because that is what is in the best interest of the child. No, he didn't cheat on his wife with me or period, she was just an awful human being. He met me three years after their divorce. He is a great dad and very involved in his kids lives. She would rather punish her kids because she is petty. It's really sad to watch.

And before anyone asks --- they call me bonus mom and are always happy to see us every other week.

What's crazy? A judge can prevent her from moving far away with the kids. If she's not married to the AP a judge can order he's not to care for the kids unless she's present.

No one said he should punish his kids. He doesn't want the mother to move with them.

[Anonymous]

If anyone wants my kids even though I'm married to their mother they can have them as long as you foot the bill for all the food! Ha ha kidding of course but man teenage boys can effin eat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

OP is there father and sounds like he loves his kids.

Mom's boy toy has character strikes against him.

Anyone who becomes an affair partner to a married person with kids is an ass who does not deserve respect or understanding.

Sadly the kids will likely have bad feelings toward her as more and more come out. And they become older.

I would lawyer up, prevent her from leaving. Doubt I would talk to her beyond the text for child exchanges. And make sure my agreement states the kids are not to be alone with this guy. My friend was able to get that in her child custody agreement. Poor kids!

I am sorry, this is crazy. A judge will throw that provision out in a hot minute. I know this from experience. I am married to a man who left his wife and eight years later, she is still bitter. Once we were engaged and living together, the judge basically told her she can not continue to enforce this provision, and even went so far to grant him 50/50, because that is what is in the best interest of the child. No, he didn't cheat on his wife with me or period, she was just an awful human being. He met me three years after their divorce. He is a great dad and very involved in his kids lives. She would rather punish her kids because she is petty. It's really sad to watch.

And before anyone asks --- they call me bonus mom and are always happy to see us every other week.

What's crazy? A judge can prevent her from moving far away with the kids. If she's not married to the AP a judge can order he's not to care for the kids unless she's present.

No one said he should punish his kids. He doesn't want the mother to move with them.

Sorry, to be clear, what is crazy is thinking you can tell your ex that their new wife/husband can't be left alone with the kids. No judge will ever allow that, unless they are a danger, of course. I agree with the moving them away though. That is not in the best interest for the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

OP is there father and sounds like he loves his kids.

Mom's boy toy has character strikes against him.

Anyone who becomes an affair partner to a married person with kids is an ass who does not deserve respect or understanding.

Sadly the kids will likely have bad feelings toward her as more and more come out. And they become older.

I would lawyer up, prevent her from leaving. Doubt I would talk to her beyond the text for child exchanges. And make sure my agreement states the kids are not to be alone with this guy. My friend was able to get that in her child custody agreement. Poor kids!

I am sorry, this is crazy. A judge will throw that provision out in a hot minute. I know this from experience. I am married to a man who left his wife and eight years later, she is still bitter. Once we were engaged and living together, the judge basically told her she can not continue to enforce this provision, and even went so far to grant him 50/50, because that is what is in the best interest of the child. No, he didn't cheat on his wife with me or period, she was just an awful human being. He met me three years after their divorce. He is a great dad and very involved in his kids lives. She would rather punish her kids because she is petty. It's really sad to watch.

And before anyone asks --- they call me bonus mom and are always happy to see us every other week.

What's crazy? A judge can prevent her from moving far away with the kids. If she's not married to the AP a judge can order he's not to care for the kids unless she's present.

No one said he should punish his kids. He doesn't want the mother to move with them.

Sorry, to be clear, what is crazy is thinking you can tell your ex that their new wife/husband can't be left alone with the kids. No judge will ever allow that, unless they are a danger, of course. I agree with the moving them away though. That is not in the best interest for the children.

No, I mean't while in the dating stage. I agree after they are married a judge wouldn't order that. My friend was able to get it in her divorce because he was having different women around the kids. They weren't allowed to be alone with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yet another horror story...

Marriage is a raw deal for men

The horror story is divorce for kids.

The men and women are adults.

This is the new Coparenting divorce hell of the last decade. Hell for everyone, can't even move for a better job, kids shuttling everywhere, one parent running all the logistics. Such a mess, you'd think people would work on their marriages if there were problems, not sign up for 15+ years of this. Or just have an open marriage. Seriously.

I'm not sure who revived this but this part is so true, The idea that people need to have 50/50 custody is BS. The parent who was doing all the parenting before should have a right to keep the kids, and the other parent should have access to them. But a divorce is such a nasty way to lose money, fight about where you live, what jobs you take, what you do, etc. I'm divorced and I have more contact and more drama with my ex now than we ever had as married. And in the end, the main victim here is the child. Because unless both parties are mature and have the money, the child will be fkd.

Agree. Just be roommates and have an open marriage if one or both need to.

50/50 is in vogue in the courts systems but totally senseless in many fronts.

And yes, remarriages, big job relocations all trigger more court mediation to work out full custody and vacation arrangements. Lawyers must really laugh how many round trips these agreements take on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yet another horror story...

Marriage is a raw deal for men

The horror story is divorce for kids.

The men and women are adults.

This is the new Coparenting divorce hell of the last decade. Hell for everyone, can't even move for a better job, kids shuttling everywhere, one parent running all the logistics. Such a mess, you'd think people would work on their marriages if there were problems, not sign up for 15+ years of this. Or just have an open marriage. Seriously.

I'm not sure who revived this but this part is so true, The idea that people need to have 50/50 custody is BS. The parent who was doing all the parenting before should have a right to keep the kids, and the other parent should have access to them. But a divorce is such a nasty way to lose money, fight about where you live, what jobs you take, what you do, etc. I'm divorced and I have more contact and more drama with my ex now than we ever had as married. And in the end, the main victim here is the child. Because unless both parties are mature and have the money, the child will be fkd.

Agree. Just be roommates and have an open marriage if one or both need to.

50/50 is in vogue in the courts systems but totally senseless in many fronts.

And yes, remarriages, big job relocations all trigger more court mediation to work out full custody and vacation arrangements. Lawyers must really laugh how many round trips these agreements take on.

Say it again - cause it so true ?