Ex Wife getting married to guy she had an affair with--question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

What the hell?! This is so biased it's unreal. No, Mom does not get to pick up and move THEIR children just because she has some new dick. The reality of divorce is that you are not free to make those decisions independently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

What the hell?! This is so biased it's unreal. No, Mom does not get to pick up and move THEIR children just because she has some new dick. The reality of divorce is that you are not free to make those decisions independently.

That's not true. People do what people do. Like move. Divorce gives the other parent rights to oppose big changes. But at what cost?? OP didn't even say how far and he sounds a little melancholy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of his kids and prevent the move. If that is not the case, OP and his ex need to work out a custody plan that is in the best interests of the children. 100% of decisions by the OP should be made from that perspective, regardless of what his ex does or does not do.

OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of the kids and prevent the move EVEN if his ex is a good mom and her fiance is good to the kids.

It is not in the best interests of the kids to move to a different town, away from their father, under any circumstances.

OP, you'd better expect her to try and move, and take the kids with her, and you better lawyer up now and prepare for war.

Yeah, much better to create eternal resentment. Great advice. Resentment is so helpful to children.

Seriously. This is life. If the kids do well with them, try your best to work it out.

You sound like the mom who had an affair who is still refusing to recognizes how damaging your actions are to your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Contact your divorce lawyer before you meet with her so you are armed with the right questions based on the terms of your agreement. You need to be prepared because she will be.

+100. This happens a lot so hopefully your agreement set some rules around it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of his kids and prevent the move. If that is not the case, OP and his ex need to work out a custody plan that is in the best interests of the children. 100% of decisions by the OP should be made from that perspective, regardless of what his ex does or does not do.

OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of the kids and prevent the move EVEN if his ex is a good mom and her fiance is good to the kids.

It is not in the best interests of the kids to move to a different town, away from their father, under any circumstances.

OP, you'd better expect her to try and move, and take the kids with her, and you better lawyer up now and prepare for war.

Yeah, much better to create eternal resentment. Great advice. Resentment is so helpful to children.

Seriously. This is life. If the kids do well with them, try your best to work it out.

You sound like the mom who had an affair who is still refusing to recognizes how damaging your actions are to your children.

Nope. It's been two years for OP. I get that it sucks. But what does he win and what do the children lose if he fights? He probably would win and I simply think there's a lot to think about before engaging in war. Of course I think op should try to negotiate something. Bit I don't think war would benefit the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

What the hell?! This is so biased it's unreal. No, Mom does not get to pick up and move THEIR children just because she has some new dick. The reality of divorce is that you are not free to make those decisions independently.

That's not true. People do what people do. Like move. Divorce gives the other parent rights to oppose big changes. But at what cost?? OP didn't even say how far and he sounds a little melancholy.

We get it.

There are people who want consequence free affairs.

People with children who have affairs are the ultimate in selfishness and self centered behavior.

It makes sense that they would think it is all well and good to continue to destroy and uproot their children's life for their own benefit and convenience. If they are selfish enough to destroy their kids' home and family, what harm is there in moving them out of state with the person who helped to destroy these kids' lives?

No.

Wife should not be able to move the kids out of state.

If boy toy loves her that much and so wants to be the father to these kids, he can quit his job and move states to live with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of his kids and prevent the move. If that is not the case, OP and his ex need to work out a custody plan that is in the best interests of the children. 100% of decisions by the OP should be made from that perspective, regardless of what his ex does or does not do.

OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of the kids and prevent the move EVEN if his ex is a good mom and her fiance is good to the kids.

It is not in the best interests of the kids to move to a different town, away from their father, under any circumstances.

OP, you'd better expect her to try and move, and take the kids with her, and you better lawyer up now and prepare for war.

Yeah, much better to create eternal resentment. Great advice. Resentment is so helpful to children.

Seriously. This is life. If the kids do well with them, try your best to work it out.

You sound like the mom who had an affair who is still refusing to recognizes how damaging your actions are to your children.

Nope. It's been two years for OP. I get that it sucks. But what does he win and what do the children lose if he fights? He probably would win and I simply think there's a lot to think about before engaging in war. Of course I think op should try to negotiate something. Bit I don't think war would benefit the kids.

The kids lose big time if mom moves them away from their loving, involved, 50% custody father to live in another state away from their friends and school to live with the guy who destroyed their family.

The kids lose far more by going with mom than they will lose by staying with dad and seeing mom during summer vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

What the hell?! This is so biased it's unreal. No, Mom does not get to pick up and move THEIR children just because she has some new dick. The reality of divorce is that you are not free to make those decisions independently.

That's not true. People do what people do. Like move. Divorce gives the other parent rights to oppose big changes. But at what cost?? OP didn't even say how far and he sounds a little melancholy.

We get it.

There are people who want consequence free affairs.

People with children who have affairs are the ultimate in selfishness and self centered behavior.

It makes sense that they would think it is all well and good to continue to destroy and uproot their children's life for their own benefit and convenience. If they are selfish enough to destroy their kids' home and family, what harm is there in moving them out of state with the person who helped to destroy these kids' lives?

No.

Wife should not be able to move the kids out of state.

If boy toy loves her that much and so wants to be the father to these kids, he can quit his job and move states to live with them.

It's been two years.

You have no idea what the marriage was ike.

You gave no idea how far the kids are moving.

You have no idea how well the kids are doing or how stable either parent is.

[Anonymous]

^^ and if mom could afford to travel out of state regularly enough to carry on her affair, she can afford to travel back home regularly throughout the year to visit with her kids.

[Anonymous]

My brothers ex tried to do this a few years ago and I remember that their custody agreement prohibited her from moving the kids more than X miles away before the age of 16 or something along that line. She tried to take the issue to court, I don't the specifics but she ended up staying in MD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

What the hell?! This is so biased it's unreal. No, Mom does not get to pick up and move THEIR children just because she has some new dick. The reality of divorce is that you are not free to make those decisions independently.

That's not true. People do what people do. Like move. Divorce gives the other parent rights to oppose big changes. But at what cost?? OP didn't even say how far and he sounds a little melancholy.

And you are assuming that mom is the better parent and the kids should be with her because she is a woman, eventhough the only evidence we have (affair and marrying the affair partner and wanting to move the kids out of state) show otherwise.

We get it.

There are people who want consequence free affairs.

People with children who have affairs are the ultimate in selfishness and self centered behavior.

It makes sense that they would think it is all well and good to continue to destroy and uproot their children's life for their own benefit and convenience. If they are selfish enough to destroy their kids' home and family, what harm is there in moving them out of state with the person who helped to destroy these kids' lives?

No.

Wife should not be able to move the kids out of state.

If boy toy loves her that much and so wants to be the father to these kids, he can quit his job and move states to live with them.

It's been two years.

You have no idea what the marriage was ike.

You gave no idea how far the kids are moving.

You have no idea how well the kids are doing or how stable either parent is.

[Anonymous]

There are consequences when you destroy your kids' lives by having an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

What the hell?! This is so biased it's unreal. No, Mom does not get to pick up and move THEIR children just because she has some new dick. The reality of divorce is that you are not free to make those decisions independently.

That's not true. People do what people do. Like move. Divorce gives the other parent rights to oppose big changes. But at what cost?? OP didn't even say how far and he sounds a little melancholy.

We get it.

There are people who want consequence free affairs.

People with children who have affairs are the ultimate in selfishness and self centered behavior.

It makes sense that they would think it is all well and good to continue to destroy and uproot their children's life for their own benefit and convenience. If they are selfish enough to destroy their kids' home and family, what harm is there in moving them out of state with the person who helped to destroy these kids' lives?

No.

Wife should not be able to move the kids out of state.

If boy toy loves her that much and so wants to be the father to these kids, he can quit his job and move states to live with them.

It's been two years.

You have no idea what the marriage was ike.

You gave no idea how far the kids are moving.

You have no idea how well the kids are doing or how stable either parent is.

No.

Wife should not be able to move the kids out of state.

If boy toy loves her that much and so wants to be the father to these kids, he can quit his job and move states to live with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of his kids and prevent the move. If that is not the case, OP and his ex need to work out a custody plan that is in the best interests of the children. 100% of decisions by the OP should be made from that perspective, regardless of what his ex does or does not do.

OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of the kids and prevent the move EVEN if his ex is a good mom and her fiance is good to the kids.

It is not in the best interests of the kids to move to a different town, away from their father, under any circumstances.

OP, you'd better expect her to try and move, and take the kids with her, and you better lawyer up now and prepare for war.

Yeah, much better to create eternal resentment. Great advice. Resentment is so helpful to children.

Seriously. This is life. If the kids do well with them, try your best to work it out.

How is it going to cause more resentment if they stay with him versus going with her? Either way, one parent will be the primary parent and the other the long-distance parent. Why would the kids resent mom being the long-distance one more than dad?

If anything they're going to resent being taken away from their current schools and friends just because mom wants to live with some strange guy in another city.

[Anonymous]

OP, what will be the best situation for the kids? Can you keep them in their current schools if you have primary custody? If not, I'd consider moving to make sure you are in-boundary.

Also, if the move would get them better schools, or the ability to be with a stay at home mom after school vs. day care or latch key kid, I'd *consider* allowing the move. I divorced a cheater so I get it. But try to focus on what would be best for the kids, not your anger.