ILs sleeping in master while staying to watch kids?

[Anonymous]

The next logical step is never asking or accepting them to stay with you, since they have no concept of boundaries and refuse to sleep in the perfectly fine GUEST ROOM (that tons of people don’t have)... and then I’d bet those same people would be complaining “they won’t let us stay with them even though they even have a guest room! And we’ve offered to babysit while they go away! They know we will do it! We just want to see our grandkids! It’s a pleasure for us! They’re so unfair!” And the few nutcase supporters on DCUM would probably still support them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The next logical step is never asking or accepting them to stay with you, since they have no concept of boundaries and refuse to sleep in the perfectly fine GUEST ROOM (that tons of people don’t have)... and then I’d bet those same people would be complaining “they won’t let us stay with them even though they even have a guest room! And we’ve offered to babysit while they go away! They know we will do it! We just want to see our grandkids! It’s a pleasure for us! They’re so unfair!” And the few nutcase supporters on DCUM would probably still support them.

You are attributing all kinds of drama to this for which there is no evidence. Chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine having someone I trust enough to leave my kids with but don’t trust with my bedroom.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit what kind of person asks someone to spend multiple days in their house then gets wound up about boundaries

It’d be INSANELY rude to keep them out of the master. Like bonkers rude

Huh??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine having someone I trust enough to leave my kids with but don’t trust with my bedroom.

+1.

This. ILs have said guest room is uncomfortable and would prefer your more comfortable one. That's not a big ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so weird to me. I would, of course, let my in-laws use the master suite if they'd be more comfortable while watching our children for free! I can't fathom how DCUM is perfectly happy to take, take, take free child care but goes crazy at the thought of family members laying their heads on their precious pillows.

(Obviously there is SOMETHING about the guest bedroom that is not great if the IL's are asking to switch up.)

+1 My sister is convinced her guest bedroom is wonderful and doesn't understand why we choose to stay with my parents instead even though it's more cramped over there. The mattress in my sister's guest bedroom is the most ungodly uncomfortable mattress I've ever slept on. Sister has back problems and she likes sleeping on a mattress harder than concrete so to her it's super comfortable. To me? Not so much.

Maybe try, I dunno, TELLING her that the mattress in her guest bedroom is not comfortable to you. How the heck is she supposed to just know that?

Wow, here I had never even CONSIDERED telling her that! Thanks so much PP! You're brilliant thoughts have truly illuminated my day!

I have told her that the bed is uncomfortable. But the bed is comfortable TO HER so to HER there isn't a problem and I should be perfectly comfortable in that bed.

You said that your sister didn't understand why you choose to stay with your parents instead. I assumed that meant that you had never communicated your issue with the bed. Apparently you did tell her that you found the bed uncomfortable. She disagrees with you and thinks the bed is fine. Whatever. At least you have told her why you don't stay with her and not left it a great big mystery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine having someone I trust enough to leave my kids with but don’t trust with my bedroom.

+1.

This. ILs have said guest room is uncomfortable and would prefer your more comfortable one. That's not a big ask.

Find out what it is about the guest bedroom that makes the guest bedroom so uncomfortable to them.

What about your room is so much better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine having someone I trust enough to leave my kids with but don’t trust with my bedroom.

+1.

This. ILs have said guest room is uncomfortable and would prefer your more comfortable one. That's not a big ask.

Find out what it is about the guest bedroom that makes the guest bedroom so uncomfortable to them.

What about your room is so much better?

OP said in her first post that their master has an attached bath, big TV, and is quieter/further from the kids. Not a mystery here.

[Anonymous]

I think it's kind of weird to have them sleep in the master when you have a guestroom.

My parents have stayed to watch our son while DH and I have gone on an anniversary trip and both had work conferences, and they always stay in the guestroom.

I don't think it's even occurred to any of us to have them sleep in our master. But then again, they always stay in the guestroom when they're visiting while we are home, so I just don't think we've ever thought to do differently.

Seems a little icky to me, but nothing i would vehemently oppose, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Idgaf if my inlaws or parents are watching my kids overnight. My room is my private area and as long as I have a perfectly functioning guest room plus attached bathroom, no need at all for anyone to be my room.

Has nothing to do with being greatful for having child care for free. I could take it or leave it.

[Anonymous]

No guest seats get the guest room. Keep kids and guests out if they master BR. What would anyone prefer to sleep and nose around someone else’s master bedroom?! Esp when there IS a fully loaded guest room.

Why would you even give them an option of picking a room.

I would have picked guest room as a babysitting guest. Even in the house of my married adult child while I babysit. Wtf did you ask them and wtf did they they want your master BR? This must be intl culture or something.

[Anonymous]

Is there a TV in the guest bedroom? Maybe they want to watch tv in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a TV in the guest bedroom? Maybe they want to watch tv in bed?

Yeah. I'm guessing it's the t.v. If you have a nice guest room with a queen bed and attached guest bathroom they probably prefer your room because of the t.v.

Put a t.v. in the guest room and problem will be solved.

Guest rooms, in general, are better for guests because they are low traffic rooms with drawer and closet space available and none of the host's personal items are laying around.

I would hate to have to make our master bedroom ready for a guest - it would be a royal pain to try to give them closet/drawer space and clear off the vanity for their personal grooming supplies and whatnot.

I would focus on fixing whatever the guest bedroom lacks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a TV in the guest bedroom? Maybe they want to watch tv in bed?

Yeah. I'm guessing it's the t.v. If you have a nice guest room with a queen bed and attached guest bathroom they probably prefer your room because of the t.v.

Put a t.v. in the guest room and problem will be solved.

Guest rooms, in general, are better for guests because they are low traffic rooms with drawer and closet space available and none of the host's personal items are laying around.

I would hate to have to make our master bedroom ready for a guest - it would be a royal pain to try to give them closet/drawer space and clear off the vanity for their personal grooming supplies and whatnot.

I would focus on fixing whatever the guest bedroom lacks.

OP has already said that her parents are the type without boundaries, so from their perspective maybe all the personal stuff laying around in the master is exactly what makes the master so desirable and better for them. Easier to snoop around that way.

But I agree that if all you need to do is put in a TV then you should do that. I didn't know watching TV in bed was such a thing, but apparently it is. I'm sure DH would rather spring for another TV than have his in laws sleeping in his bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d turn down the sitting on these terms. There’s a guest room. For guests. Which the grandparents are. In our house, grandparents would have to come in at least a day in advance of any trip we took and stay a day on the other end, so they don’t be in the guest room anyway for those nights. HAving them in the master in between would just mean multiple sets of sheets to wash and I’d have to strip and make our bed both right before we left and right when we got back in the door? No thanks. Doesn’t matter if it’s my parents or his making this request.

DP Well, if I were the grandparents I would stay home if not allowed to use the better bedroom. Take your kids on vacation or stay at home!