ILs sleeping in master while staying to watch kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think so much of this is the values you hold / learned growing up.

In our family, the older couple (grandoarents) were always given the most comfortable bed. It was just part of what you did for older guests. You went out of your way to make them comfortable. Part of a respecting your elders type value mindset.

Many people have their worst beds in their guest rooms as they are rarely used. They are pull out sofas, old or hard mattresses, just generally not as comfortable.

Why not put a comfortable bed in all of your rooms? Why should anyone in your house being sleeping on truly uncomfortable mattresses?

Comfortable big bed in the guest room. Cozy sheets and comforter. Big screen tv with cable in the guest room - get installing that NOW.
In the next few months you can upgrade the bathroom too, OP. Make the guest room desirable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:b

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DEMAND TO SLEEP IN THE BED YOUR ADULT CHILD AND HER SPOUSE SLEEP IN WHEN THERE IS A FINE, EMPTY GUEST ROOM DOWN THE HALL?

How did this even become an option? I'd rather buy a new mattress for guest bed or whatever the "issue" is. stop this now.

BECAUSE AS THE OP MENTIONED THE MASTER BEDROOM HAS AN ATTACHED BATH, A BIG TV AND IS QUIETER AND MORE COMFORTABLE. (Did the all CAPS help me get my point across?)

THE GUEST ROOM ALSO HAS AN ATTACHED BATH. And who is seriously trashy enough to demand to sleep in someone else's marital bed (!) just because they can't survive a night on a comfortable queen bed without being able to watch TV in bed? AND THEY ARE THERE TO WATCH THE KIDS, so yeah they should be closer to the kids.

'
OP and spouse are in the master bedroom daily so presumably if it's good enough for the OP to keep an eye on her kids on a daily basis, it's good enough for Grandma and Grandpa for a week. OP said that the master's attached bath is "better" than the guest room bath whatever that means.

Of course it's good enough to keep an eye on the kids. The point is that if you're at someone's house under the guise of minding their kids, you can't very well complain that you need to spend more time with the kids. It's like staying at someone's house for pet sitting but then not wanting the pets to be close to you while you're watching TV or sleeping.

And nobody is doubting that the master is better. People are saying that the guest bedroom with queen bed and attached bath should be good enough.

Do you seriously go into someone's home, even if yes you're technically doing them a favor, and then refuse to drink the wine and liquor that they made available to you and invited you to drink and instead demand the very best thing in their wine cellar? Just because they drink it sometimes so you should be afforded the same luxury?

Some people are totally clueless.

But OP's inlaws are asking for something costless--using a bedroom that no one is using because OP will be on vacation with her spouse-not drinking up all her wine. OP may feel put out by sharing her space, but her in-laws are doing her a huge favor in caring for her kids.
OP's inlaws are doing her a big favor so presumably

Some people care about their privacy, having everything just how they left it, not needing to pack up their bedroom to leave for a couple of nights, knowing (or at least feeling) like people haven't "accidentally" discovered things that you didn't want them to see, etc, a lot more than a couple hundred bucks for a bottle of wine. Several people on this thread have commented that if the guest suite wasn't good enough for the inlaws then they'd rather just have paid someone else to mind the kids and stay in the nice guest suite. Personally, I'd be the same.

+1

It would not be costless for me. It would cost me my peace of mind, and my privacy.

If my in-laws had concerns about the comfort of the guestroom, I would figure out what the room needed to be more comfortable, and address that before they arrived.

If someone sleeping in your bed for a few nights while you’re away costs you your peace of mind, you have bigger problems (that require psychological support.)

Yeah, no - this is totally reasonable. I mean , the inlaws could smell of something (smoke, perfume, garlic, incontinence?) that could linger in OP’s bedroom long term. It’s reasonable not to want to experience that.
Yuck.

[Anonymous]

What matters most is that they are minding the kids.

So you suck it up if they prefer your bedroom.

Plus, I bet the guest bed isn't as good as you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+100%. selfish, dishonorable people that don't trust their parents enough to sleep in their room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+100%. selfish, dishonorable people that don't trust their parents enough to sleep in their room.

The funny part is I bet that most of those people would let their dog sleep in their bed but not their parents. Oh well, one day they’ll get their karma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I offered our bed to our parents we would not be sleeping on the same floor as our very young children and I am just not ok with that. I would not expect our parents to deal with any child issues that come up in the middle of the night and as our guest suite is in the basement, running up two flights of stairs to reach a vomiting child is not something I’m interested in. They are free to not visit if they have a problem with our private guest suite where they have a dedicated space and bathroom that no one else in the house uses.

So you are on vacation, your parents are staying at your house to look after your kids and you would put them in the basement in the guest room where they can't see or hear the kids?

OP said her guest suite is actually closer to the kids than her and her husband's bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+100%. selfish, dishonorable people that don't trust their parents enough to sleep in their room.

The funny part is I bet that most of those people would let their dog sleep in their bed but not their parents. Oh well, one day they’ll get their karma.

For not wanting their parents sleeping in their bed? There’s nothing natural about that, it’s 100% yuck.
Why don’t you just stop by uninvited sometime and go hang out in your daughters’ bed? You know, really insert yourself and prove your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+100%. selfish, dishonorable people that don't trust their parents enough to sleep in their room.

Yes, so when you are having sex with your partner you should think of your parents , right? Smell their perfume? Perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+100%. selfish, dishonorable people that don't trust their parents enough to sleep in their room.

Yes, so when you are having sex with your partner you should think of your parents , right? Smell their perfume? Perfect.

Agreed. I seriously can't imagine guests having sex in my bed while I'm out of town. A master bedroom is not the same as a hotel.

And yes, my guest room has a better mattress than my master bedroom. Better sheets too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I offered our bed to our parents we would not be sleeping on the same floor as our very young children and I am just not ok with that. I would not expect our parents to deal with any child issues that come up in the middle of the night and as our guest suite is in the basement, running up two flights of stairs to reach a vomiting child is not something I’m interested in. They are free to not visit if they have a problem with our private guest suite where they have a dedicated space and bathroom that no one else in the house uses.

So you are on vacation, your parents are staying at your house to look after your kids and you would put them in the basement in the guest room where they can't see or hear the kids?

I'm responding to all the posters who say they give up their bedroom any time their parents or ILs visit because their values are to respect their elders and give them the most comfortable place in the house. I don't ask my parents/ILs to watch my kids overnight; it's not their thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:b

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DEMAND TO SLEEP IN THE BED YOUR ADULT CHILD AND HER SPOUSE SLEEP IN WHEN THERE IS A FINE, EMPTY GUEST ROOM DOWN THE HALL?

How did this even become an option? I'd rather buy a new mattress for guest bed or whatever the "issue" is. stop this now.

BECAUSE AS THE OP MENTIONED THE MASTER BEDROOM HAS AN ATTACHED BATH, A BIG TV AND IS QUIETER AND MORE COMFORTABLE. (Did the all CAPS help me get my point across?)

THE GUEST ROOM ALSO HAS AN ATTACHED BATH. And who is seriously trashy enough to demand to sleep in someone else's marital bed (!) just because they can't survive a night on a comfortable queen bed without being able to watch TV in bed? AND THEY ARE THERE TO WATCH THE KIDS, so yeah they should be closer to the kids.

'
OP and spouse are in the master bedroom daily so presumably if it's good enough for the OP to keep an eye on her kids on a daily basis, it's good enough for Grandma and Grandpa for a week. OP said that the master's attached bath is "better" than the guest room bath whatever that means.

Of course it's good enough to keep an eye on the kids. The point is that if you're at someone's house under the guise of minding their kids, you can't very well complain that you need to spend more time with the kids. It's like staying at someone's house for pet sitting but then not wanting the pets to be close to you while you're watching TV or sleeping.

And nobody is doubting that the master is better. People are saying that the guest bedroom with queen bed and attached bath should be good enough.

Do you seriously go into someone's home, even if yes you're technically doing them a favor, and then refuse to drink the wine and liquor that they made available to you and invited you to drink and instead demand the very best thing in their wine cellar? Just because they drink it sometimes so you should be afforded the same luxury?

Some people are totally clueless.

But OP's inlaws are asking for something costless--using a bedroom that no one is using because OP will be on vacation with her spouse-not drinking up all her wine. OP may feel put out by sharing her space, but her in-laws are doing her a huge favor in caring for her kids.
OP's inlaws are doing her a big favor so presumably

Some people care about their privacy, having everything just how they left it, not needing to pack up their bedroom to leave for a couple of nights, knowing (or at least feeling) like people haven't "accidentally" discovered things that you didn't want them to see, etc, a lot more than a couple hundred bucks for a bottle of wine. Several people on this thread have commented that if the guest suite wasn't good enough for the inlaws then they'd rather just have paid someone else to mind the kids and stay in the nice guest suite. Personally, I'd be the same.

+1

It would not be costless for me. It would cost me my peace of mind, and my privacy.

If my in-laws had concerns about the comfort of the guestroom, I would figure out what the room needed to be more comfortable, and address that before they arrived.

If someone sleeping in your bed for a few nights while you’re away costs you your peace of mind, you have bigger problems (that require psychological support.)

My bed is my intimate space, as is the area around it. I am a very private person and my private space is important to me.

Like OP, we have a comfortable guest room. Ours has a super-comfortable king-size bed, nice furniture, plush bedding, a large, modern TV, and plenty of other amenities including an empty dresser for clothing and plenty of hanging space in the closet.

OP has a guest room that exists for the purpose of hosting guests.

If her ILs think the master bedroom is "more comfortable," then they need to articulate what comforts are important to them so that OP and her DH can increase the comfort level of the guest room. Is it the bed, the bedding, the TV? What is it?

Or is it that they want to exert their perceived seniority and control?

The fact of the ILs finding the master bedroom is not sufficient cause to entitle them to take over OP's private space.

[Anonymous]

I am on the seriously no way camp but after reading this thread I feel like this MUST be cultural because my parents would be appalled at the thought of sleeping in my bed or taking over my bedroom. They would get a hotel before that (at their own preference!).

In my entire childhood my parents never had any guest ever sleep in their bedroom, people were barely ever allowed to even ENTER their bedroom. So clearly in my family the entire idea of this is ludicrous and clearly in other families it is just as ludicrous to live this way.

I tend to agree that generally when there is one person who wants privacy and one person who thinks privacy isn't needed the person who wants privacy should prevail (in all things not just this). But perhaps that is because I am on the side of the privacy folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:b

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DEMAND TO SLEEP IN THE BED YOUR ADULT CHILD AND HER SPOUSE SLEEP IN WHEN THERE IS A FINE, EMPTY GUEST ROOM DOWN THE HALL?

How did this even become an option? I'd rather buy a new mattress for guest bed or whatever the "issue" is. stop this now.

BECAUSE AS THE OP MENTIONED THE MASTER BEDROOM HAS AN ATTACHED BATH, A BIG TV AND IS QUIETER AND MORE COMFORTABLE. (Did the all CAPS help me get my point across?)

THE GUEST ROOM ALSO HAS AN ATTACHED BATH. And who is seriously trashy enough to demand to sleep in someone else's marital bed (!) just because they can't survive a night on a comfortable queen bed without being able to watch TV in bed? AND THEY ARE THERE TO WATCH THE KIDS, so yeah they should be closer to the kids.

'
OP and spouse are in the master bedroom daily so presumably if it's good enough for the OP to keep an eye on her kids on a daily basis, it's good enough for Grandma and Grandpa for a week. OP said that the master's attached bath is "better" than the guest room bath whatever that means.

Of course it's good enough to keep an eye on the kids. The point is that if you're at someone's house under the guise of minding their kids, you can't very well complain that you need to spend more time with the kids. It's like staying at someone's house for pet sitting but then not wanting the pets to be close to you while you're watching TV or sleeping.

And nobody is doubting that the master is better. People are saying that the guest bedroom with queen bed and attached bath should be good enough.

Do you seriously go into someone's home, even if yes you're technically doing them a favor, and then refuse to drink the wine and liquor that they made available to you and invited you to drink and instead demand the very best thing in their wine cellar? Just because they drink it sometimes so you should be afforded the same luxury?

Some people are totally clueless.

But OP's inlaws are asking for something costless--using a bedroom that no one is using because OP will be on vacation with her spouse-not drinking up all her wine. OP may feel put out by sharing her space, but her in-laws are doing her a huge favor in caring for her kids.
OP's inlaws are doing her a big favor so presumably

Some people care about their privacy, having everything just how they left it, not needing to pack up their bedroom to leave for a couple of nights, knowing (or at least feeling) like people haven't "accidentally" discovered things that you didn't want them to see, etc, a lot more than a couple hundred bucks for a bottle of wine. Several people on this thread have commented that if the guest suite wasn't good enough for the inlaws then they'd rather just have paid someone else to mind the kids and stay in the nice guest suite. Personally, I'd be the same.

+1

It would not be costless for me. It would cost me my peace of mind, and my privacy.

If my in-laws had concerns about the comfort of the guestroom, I would figure out what the room needed to be more comfortable, and address that before they arrived.

If someone sleeping in your bed for a few nights while you’re away costs you your peace of mind, you have bigger problems (that require psychological support.)

My bed is my intimate space, as is the area around it. I am a very private person and my private space is important to me.

Like OP, we have a comfortable guest room. Ours has a super-comfortable king-size bed, nice furniture, plush bedding, a large, modern TV, and plenty of other amenities including an empty dresser for clothing and plenty of hanging space in the closet.

OP has a guest room that exists for the purpose of hosting guests.

If her ILs think the master bedroom is "more comfortable," then they need to articulate what comforts are important to them so that OP and her DH can increase the comfort level of the guest room. Is it the bed, the bedding, the TV? What is it?

Or is it that they want to exert their perceived seniority and control?

The fact of the ILs finding the master bedroom is not sufficient cause to entitle them to take over OP's private space.

Presumably you're so private you wouldn't ask people to watch your kids for a week while you're on vacation like OP did so not so relevant. Also, if you read the OP, it says that her ILs don't find her guest room comfortable as the ILs are complaining about its lack of TV, noise and sub-optimal bath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I offered our bed to our parents we would not be sleeping on the same floor as our very young children and I am just not ok with that. I would not expect our parents to deal with any child issues that come up in the middle of the night and as our guest suite is in the basement, running up two flights of stairs to reach a vomiting child is not something I’m interested in. They are free to not visit if they have a problem with our private guest suite where they have a dedicated space and bathroom that no one else in the house uses.

So you are on vacation, your parents are staying at your house to look after your kids and you would put them in the basement in the guest room where they can't see or hear the kids?

I'm responding to all the posters who say they give up their bedroom any time their parents or ILs visit because their values are to respect their elders and give them the most comfortable place in the house. I don't ask my parents/ILs to watch my kids overnight; it's not their thing.

OP did ask her parents/ILs to watch her kids for a full week. If you don't need your ILs "services" while on vacation then this issue wouldn't come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a pet sitter and frequently my clients tell me to sleep wherever I feel most comfortable whether that’s the guest room or master bedroom. Sometimes I choose the master. I don’t see the big deal.

Trol

Nice try trolling