Moved to Florida for SO and now I'm miserable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We relocated to multiple places in florida, and while it's not perfect, i find it hard to believe that someone could be miserable here unless they were looking to be miserable. Sure, people are less career-focused and educated than DC. But my dh and i are highly educated and (previously) career focused and love being here and balanced by regular people. It's nice to have a lot of things to talk about with people other than politics and our jobs. Like, we are quite chummy with our next door neighbors, and they are both highly educated professionals in the medical field. We have no idea what their political leanings are. We think she probably sways democratic, and he probably sways republican. But we're not sure. But he sometimes texts my DH at 9pm on a friday to say he's getting up at 7am to go stand up paddle boarding, and would my DH like to come, and they have an awesome time. Because it's florida.

Florida is so transient that most people on the coasts just don't talk politics and don't talk jobs. But they are mostly friendly, and genuinely kind and caring. I find it hard to imagine how someone could completely hate it here.... The fact that op hates it makes me think it's more about her, and her relationship with her SO.

+1. As a Florida native, there is so much to do in Florida. I think this post is spot on.

Don’t you have to worry about alligators paddle boarding in FL?

[Anonymous]

Please follow Florida Man on twitter. It’s everything you need to know about florida.

[Anonymous]

7:13, NP. I wish I could give you a big hug. I’m glad you’re breaking free for the West coast.

[Anonymous]

Is this Cyndi? We miss you guys.

[Anonymous]

We moved from the northeast to Florida and like it here. But "Florida" is a big, diverse state and the difference between the panhandle and Miami is like Latin America v. South Alabama.

We settled in Tampa, great schools, low crime, thriving city and very cosmopolitan. Not many other cities here I would want to live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say this. I've lived in Florida my entire life. I've hated living here for about as long as I could remember. I've battled depression and anxiety my entire life, and a good portion of it comes from the weather. I never want to go outside, and when I do it's usually miserable unless it's late December to late Feb which is the only time the weather is tolerable. The terrain is just boring. You get a choice between flat ugly swamps, flat and ugly everything else, or the beach... and I'll tell you my interest in going anywhere near an ocean is incredibly low. I hate palm trees, I hate beaches, I hate old people, I hate theme parks, I hate heat and humidity, I hate just about everything about this state/region of the country.

When I was 9 I used to collect atlases and travel magazines and imagine living anywhere else but here. 36 years later and it looks like I'm finally getting an out soon. I'll be moving to Colorado where everything is perfect for me. Florida is literally killing me. That's not hyperbole either. I hate living here so much I'd rather die early than have to stay here for the rest of my life. This place is misery. It's the land of entitled, wastes of life and worst generation ever Baby Boomers are coming to die... and drive slow in the left lane.

It's where all the red necks who were too stupid for Alabama and Georgia come to breed and multiply in north Florida and the northwestern part of Central Florida. It's where all the idiot tourists come to drive terribly on I-4 and crowd our roads all summer, and where the snowbirds drive terribly on 417 and crowd Publix every winter.

It's where the dumbest young adults go to college, and the impoverished and drug-addicted, heat-crazed people eat faces and boost the crime and homicide rates.

Everything you hear about this state in the news is fact, yet people keep pouring into this mega-disaster waiting to happen. I guarantee when the first category 5 (we all know is coming soon) makes a beeline toward central Florida, it's all over. If you're not from Florida, and you think Floridians, our infrastructure, our public servants, our politicians, our half-brained population is even remotely prepared for this... you're out of your mind. Charley was a weak cat 2 when it passed over Orlando and this city didn't know what to do. I didn't have power for almost 3 weeks, and do you know what living in this shithole is like without any ac? That's what scares me the most, living without power or any relief from the oppressive heat and humidity we're forced to endure daily.

If your SO refuses to move you to a better environment, GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW, because I guarantee that living in a place that makes you miserable on a daily basis will slowly kill you, both mentally and eventually physically. There's no amount of therapy that fixes that. No person is worth having to endure living in this hell. Get. Out. NOW. While you can.

I lived my whole life visiting Florida and wishing I could live there. Finally when I was in my early 40s I had a choice that was totally up to me and I moved there. I lived there for six great years and loved it. I came back to the DC area for various reasons but soon I will be going back. Can't wait!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say this. I've lived in Florida my entire life. I've hated living here for about as long as I could remember. I've battled depression and anxiety my entire life, and a good portion of it comes from the weather. I never want to go outside, and when I do it's usually miserable unless it's late December to late Feb which is the only time the weather is tolerable. The terrain is just boring. You get a choice between flat ugly swamps, flat and ugly everything else, or the beach... and I'll tell you my interest in going anywhere near an ocean is incredibly low. I hate palm trees, I hate beaches, I hate old people, I hate theme parks, I hate heat and humidity, I hate just about everything about this state/region of the country.

When I was 9 I used to collect atlases and travel magazines and imagine living anywhere else but here. 36 years later and it looks like I'm finally getting an out soon. I'll be moving to Colorado where everything is perfect for me. Florida is literally killing me. That's not hyperbole either. I hate living here so much I'd rather die early than have to stay here for the rest of my life. This place is misery. It's the land of entitled, wastes of life and worst generation ever Baby Boomers are coming to die... and drive slow in the left lane.

It's where all the red necks who were too stupid for Alabama and Georgia come to breed and multiply in north Florida and the northwestern part of Central Florida. It's where all the idiot tourists come to drive terribly on I-4 and crowd our roads all summer, and where the snowbirds drive terribly on 417 and crowd Publix every winter.

It's where the dumbest young adults go to college, and the impoverished and drug-addicted, heat-crazed people eat faces and boost the crime and homicide rates.

Everything you hear about this state in the news is fact, yet people keep pouring into this mega-disaster waiting to happen. I guarantee when the first category 5 (we all know is coming soon) makes a beeline toward central Florida, it's all over. If you're not from Florida, and you think Floridians, our infrastructure, our public servants, our politicians, our half-brained population is even remotely prepared for this... you're out of your mind. Charley was a weak cat 2 when it passed over Orlando and this city didn't know what to do. I didn't have power for almost 3 weeks, and do you know what living in this shithole is like without any ac? That's what scares me the most, living without power or any relief from the oppressive heat and humidity we're forced to endure daily.

If your SO refuses to move you to a better environment, GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW, because I guarantee that living in a place that makes you miserable on a daily basis will slowly kill you, both mentally and eventually physically. There's no amount of therapy that fixes that. No person is worth having to endure living in this hell. Get. Out. NOW. While you can.

This begs for an explanation. How can you have waited this long to leave? And how did you land on DCUM? Please tell us more, I’ll be wondering about you for days!

[Anonymous]

Yes. I was in this exact situation exactly 10 years ago.

I would not move for the SO. He moved to Florida. I felt we should break up. But he convinced me to get married. I had doubts the entire time.

I moved after the wedding. Biggest regret of my life. That was in 2009. I was extremely unhappy very quickly. Yes, I was working. I wanted out at 6 months in. My mom said give it another year. Stupid. I gave it one more year and ended up accidentally pregnant with once and a blue moon sex--the first time unprotected in my life. I was in my early 30s. I was trapped. I could not leave. It took 8 more years to get back to DC. Too much resentment. I have now been trying to get divorced for almost two years. What a waste of all this time due to a stupid move I never wanted to do.

My advice: leave now. Move back to D.C. Right now. Geography is a deal breaker. I was hesitant. I took a leap of faith, ignored my gut and was immediately miserable. Your gut is telling you that you are not happy. This is not a shared life. This is you moving in different directions. Dealbreaker. You do not want to be me in 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move back to DC.

Don’t. D.C. is way overrated.

So is the “intelligence” of DC people. Most of them are just plainly mediocre people whose mommies and daddies paid for them to get two otherwise useless masters degrees, so now they think they are smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister lived in south Florida for a few years. As a DC transplant, she called it Fori-duh...said she was surrounded by conservative gun-toting morons. Most people work in hospitality and have no clue or interest in politics or the community.

She knew she couldn't raise a family there, so she left.

Uhh, south Florida is one of the most reliably Democratic areas in the country, and is populated almost entirely by transplants from the Northeast or immigrants. But okay.

Seriously! South Florida conservative? Gun heavy? I just about spit out my drink.

I just about spit out my drink. Maybe PP’s sister was just scared of brown people or people who speak Spanish and that’s why she decided to leave. Easier to say “it’s the conservatives!!”

Well, it's not Texas but is absolutely gun-heavy compared to DC. They have the death penalty and that's a good indicator of a kill or be killed type atmosphere.

Gun ownership rates:
Well EVERYWHERE is gun heavy compared to DC. At 24.5%, Florida ranks 41st out of 51 states in gunownership- lower than Virginia at 35.1% and about equivalent to Maryland at 21.3%.

Florida's gun ownership rate is like Maryland's, but Florida's murder rate is about one-third lower than Maryland's, according to FBI crime reports. Maryland has no stand-your-ground law, and routinely prosecutes people who defend themselves in their own homes from armed attackers.

Wyoming has a more lenient "stand your ground" law than Florida's, and has a murder rate almost two-thirds lower than Maryland's, and a murder rate one-third lower Florida.

MD’s murder rate is higher because of Baltimore, nothing to do with sat and your ground laws. And Wyoming has a low murder rate because of demographics.

Statistically higher gun ownership is associated with much higher suicide and higher murder rates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I was in this exact situation exactly 10 years ago.

I would not move for the SO. He moved to Florida. I felt we should break up. But he convinced me to get married. I had doubts the entire time.

I moved after the wedding. Biggest regret of my life. That was in 2009. I was extremely unhappy very quickly. Yes, I was working. I wanted out at 6 months in. My mom said give it another year. Stupid. I gave it one more year and ended up accidentally pregnant with once and a blue moon sex--the first time unprotected in my life. I was in my early 30s. I was trapped. I could not leave. It took 8 more years to get back to DC. Too much resentment. I have now been trying to get divorced for almost two years. What a waste of all this time due to a stupid move I never wanted to do.

My advice: leave now. Move back to D.C. Right now. Geography is a deal breaker. I was hesitant. I took a leap of faith, ignored my gut and was immediately miserable. Your gut is telling you that you are not happy. This is not a shared life. This is you moving in different directions. Dealbreaker. You do not want to be me in 10 years.

If you were only having “once in a blue moon” sex, your problems clearly run deeper than Florida. You had problems with your relationship and yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say this. I've lived in Florida my entire life. I've hated living here for about as long as I could remember. I've battled depression and anxiety my entire life, and a good portion of it comes from the weather. I never want to go outside, and when I do it's usually miserable unless it's late December to late Feb which is the only time the weather is tolerable. The terrain is just boring. You get a choice between flat ugly swamps, flat and ugly everything else, or the beach... and I'll tell you my interest in going anywhere near an ocean is incredibly low. I hate palm trees, I hate beaches, I hate old people, I hate theme parks, I hate heat and humidity, I hate just about everything about this state/region of the country.

When I was 9 I used to collect atlases and travel magazines and imagine living anywhere else but here. 36 years later and it looks like I'm finally getting an out soon. I'll be moving to Colorado where everything is perfect for me. Florida is literally killing me. That's not hyperbole either. I hate living here so much I'd rather die early than have to stay here for the rest of my life. This place is misery. It's the land of entitled, wastes of life and worst generation ever Baby Boomers are coming to die... and drive slow in the left lane.

It's where all the red necks who were too stupid for Alabama and Georgia come to breed and multiply in north Florida and the northwestern part of Central Florida. It's where all the idiot tourists come to drive terribly on I-4 and crowd our roads all summer, and where the snowbirds drive terribly on 417 and crowd Publix every winter.

It's where the dumbest young adults go to college, and the impoverished and drug-addicted, heat-crazed people eat faces and boost the crime and homicide rates.

Everything you hear about this state in the news is fact, yet people keep pouring into this mega-disaster waiting to happen. I guarantee when the first category 5 (we all know is coming soon) makes a beeline toward central Florida, it's all over. If you're not from Florida, and you think Floridians, our infrastructure, our public servants, our politicians, our half-brained population is even remotely prepared for this... you're out of your mind. Charley was a weak cat 2 when it passed over Orlando and this city didn't know what to do. I didn't have power for almost 3 weeks, and do you know what living in this shithole is like without any ac? That's what scares me the most, living without power or any relief from the oppressive heat and humidity we're forced to endure daily.

If your SO refuses to move you to a better environment, GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW, because I guarantee that living in a place that makes you miserable on a daily basis will slowly kill you, both mentally and eventually physically. There's no amount of therapy that fixes that. No person is worth having to endure living in this hell. Get. Out. NOW. While you can.

Wow. Much like the other posters bashing Florida here, you seem to have serious life challenges that run far deeper than whether Florida is a good fit for you. I hope you get the help you need. But be aware that with anger and depression, you are likely going to find yourself in a similar low place after a year or two in a new geographic location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say this. I've lived in Florida my entire life. I've hated living here for about as long as I could remember. I've battled depression and anxiety my entire life, and a good portion of it comes from the weather. I never want to go outside, and when I do it's usually miserable unless it's late December to late Feb which is the only time the weather is tolerable. The terrain is just boring. You get a choice between flat ugly swamps, flat and ugly everything else, or the beach... and I'll tell you my interest in going anywhere near an ocean is incredibly low. I hate palm trees, I hate beaches, I hate old people, I hate theme parks, I hate heat and humidity, I hate just about everything about this state/region of the country.

When I was 9 I used to collect atlases and travel magazines and imagine living anywhere else but here. 36 years later and it looks like I'm finally getting an out soon. I'll be moving to Colorado where everything is perfect for me. Florida is literally killing me. That's not hyperbole either. I hate living here so much I'd rather die early than have to stay here for the rest of my life. This place is misery. It's the land of entitled, wastes of life and worst generation ever Baby Boomers are coming to die... and drive slow in the left lane.

It's where all the red necks who were too stupid for Alabama and Georgia come to breed and multiply in north Florida and the northwestern part of Central Florida. It's where all the idiot tourists come to drive terribly on I-4 and crowd our roads all summer, and where the snowbirds drive terribly on 417 and crowd Publix every winter.

It's where the dumbest young adults go to college, and the impoverished and drug-addicted, heat-crazed people eat faces and boost the crime and homicide rates.

Everything you hear about this state in the news is fact, yet people keep pouring into this mega-disaster waiting to happen. I guarantee when the first category 5 (we all know is coming soon) makes a beeline toward central Florida, it's all over. If you're not from Florida, and you think Floridians, our infrastructure, our public servants, our politicians, our half-brained population is even remotely prepared for this... you're out of your mind. Charley was a weak cat 2 when it passed over Orlando and this city didn't know what to do. I didn't have power for almost 3 weeks, and do you know what living in this shithole is like without any ac? That's what scares me the most, living without power or any relief from the oppressive heat and humidity we're forced to endure daily.

If your SO refuses to move you to a better environment, GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW, because I guarantee that living in a place that makes you miserable on a daily basis will slowly kill you, both mentally and eventually physically. There's no amount of therapy that fixes that. No person is worth having to endure living in this hell. Get. Out. NOW. While you can.

Revived 1yr+ old thread to vent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say this. I've lived in Florida my entire life. I've hated living here for about as long as I could remember. I've battled depression and anxiety my entire life, and a good portion of it comes from the weather. I never want to go outside, and when I do it's usually miserable unless it's late December to late Feb which is the only time the weather is tolerable. The terrain is just boring. You get a choice between flat ugly swamps, flat and ugly everything else, or the beach... and I'll tell you my interest in going anywhere near an ocean is incredibly low. I hate palm trees, I hate beaches, I hate old people, I hate theme parks, I hate heat and humidity, I hate just about everything about this state/region of the country.

When I was 9 I used to collect atlases and travel magazines and imagine living anywhere else but here. 36 years later and it looks like I'm finally getting an out soon. I'll be moving to Colorado where everything is perfect for me. Florida is literally killing me. That's not hyperbole either. I hate living here so much I'd rather die early than have to stay here for the rest of my life. This place is misery. It's the land of entitled, wastes of life and worst generation ever Baby Boomers are coming to die... and drive slow in the left lane.

It's where all the red necks who were too stupid for Alabama and Georgia come to breed and multiply in north Florida and the northwestern part of Central Florida. It's where all the idiot tourists come to drive terribly on I-4 and crowd our roads all summer, and where the snowbirds drive terribly on 417 and crowd Publix every winter.

It's where the dumbest young adults go to college, and the impoverished and drug-addicted, heat-crazed people eat faces and boost the crime and homicide rates.

Everything you hear about this state in the news is fact, yet people keep pouring into this mega-disaster waiting to happen. I guarantee when the first category 5 (we all know is coming soon) makes a beeline toward central Florida, it's all over. If you're not from Florida, and you think Floridians, our infrastructure, our public servants, our politicians, our half-brained population is even remotely prepared for this... you're out of your mind. Charley was a weak cat 2 when it passed over Orlando and this city didn't know what to do. I didn't have power for almost 3 weeks, and do you know what living in this shithole is like without any ac? That's what scares me the most, living without power or any relief from the oppressive heat and humidity we're forced to endure daily.

If your SO refuses to move you to a better environment, GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW, because I guarantee that living in a place that makes you miserable on a daily basis will slowly kill you, both mentally and eventually physically. There's no amount of therapy that fixes that. No person is worth having to endure living in this hell. Get. Out. NOW. While you can.

Revived 1yr+ old thread to vent.

DP here:
That was an amazing vent. This is the stuff I want to read on DCUM.

I really appreciate the PP sharing. And I agree - the state is completely unprepared for climate change driven hurricanes. The next Cat 5 to hit central FL will be a mass casualty event.

[Anonymous]

For all of you who are getting all Hatfield and McCoy about whether OP is right or wrong about Florida, you're missing the point.

People like different things and it is perfectly fine to like or not like Florida. Whether you like or dislike Florida says nothing about you as a person. For those criticizing OP (especially little Miss chip-on-the-shoulder "only boriing people get bored"), that's like saying that people who like black clothes are boring because they don't like a happy color. It's an opinion based on what you appreciate in life. The pros to living in Florida do not appeal to OP and the cons disappoint or depress her.

My parents moved to Florida in 1983 when I graduated high school. Dad's work moved him there and he retired in 1992. They love it there. The moved after spending 35 years in Pittsburgh. And while they loved the friends and life they had in Pittsburgh, they really loved the weather and more relaxed lifestyle in Orlando. It took them a few years to get the friend network that they had in Pittsburgh, but it is to be expected. You don't replace a friend network of over 30 years in just a couple of years. After 10 years, they couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

On the other hand, they have been trying to get me to move there since the 1980's. I love to visit my parents and I love our vacations down there. But you couldn't pay me to live down there. The weather is abysmal. Many of the activities that I enjoy the most that I can do any day of the week up in the DC area exist at most weekly down there. I can find things to do and do while I am there, but it would require me to make changes to my life and preferences to adapt. I have spent two six month periods living down there and it it required me to adapt. I can, but it the changes were not the way I want to live long-term. It was fine for short term, but I was definitely happy to return north. And nothing wrong with that. It's what you like to do. Not the type of compromise I want to make long-term for my life, like when you agree to move with a partner and they want to set down roots where you aren't happy.

OP, you need to find some sort of compromise with your partner. Talk to him about a deadline, you'll spend X years in Florida and if you still don't like it, you'll plan to move back north with or without him. But give it a reasonable number of years, something like 5-8 years. First, it will be easier for you, if you have a light at the end of the tunnel to focus on. One of the more oppressive things about being in a situation that you don't enjoy is when you see no chance to escape from an environment that depresses. It can feel much more overwhelming when there is no end in sight. Having a known endpoint can help you tolerate a depressing situation longer. Additionally, it gives him something to work towards. As you approach your end date and he sees your resolve, he gets to reevaluate whether the relationship is more important or the life that he's built. If he finds the relationship important, he'll look for ways to compromise. One way is to possibly find a city that is further north that may have some of the perks that you like (perhaps a city with a more urban feel rather than a more suburban feel, which most of southern Floriday has), but still is driveable to his family and still has some of the advantages for him of Florida. It would help if you can both identify the key features of what you want in a locale and then try to find someplace that fits as many of the important criteria for each of you.

Good luck.