Why is dating so hard once you hit 40?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because you have standards and self-respect.

Cary Grant is dead. Loosen up your standards.

[Anonymous]

"...in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live; this time, for real."

[Anonymous]

Everything is harder past that hill.

Embrace that hardship, or die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and last year I dated a guy who was 65. He looked like he was in his early to mid 50's but he was very upfront about being 65. He was absolutely wonderful in all ways imaginable. He was fun, smart, treated me well and was great in bed. I adored him but he broke it off saying that in 15 years he'd be 80 and I'd still be a young 58 and that would be a bad deal for me. I cried for like two days until I realized he was absolutely right. I'm now dating someone closer to my age and he is dating someone in her late 50's. We are still good friends but oh how I wish he was 15 years younger.

Here's the thing. The average marriage these days lasts 10 years. So you could marry your younger guy and STILL very easily wind up single again at 58. Hope it lasts longer but these days you never know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and last year I dated a guy who was 65. He looked like he was in his early to mid 50's but he was very upfront about being 65. He was absolutely wonderful in all ways imaginable. He was fun, smart, treated me well and was great in bed. I adored him but he broke it off saying that in 15 years he'd be 80 and I'd still be a young 58 and that would be a bad deal for me. I cried for like two days until I realized he was absolutely right. I'm now dating someone closer to my age and he is dating someone in her late 50's. We are still good friends but oh how I wish he was 15 years younger.

Here's the thing. The average marriage these days lasts 10 years. So you could marry your younger guy and STILL very easily wind up single again at 58. Hope it lasts longer but these days you never know.

Yeah, at least with the older guy, if he dies, he might leave you with some money.

Assuming he has money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and last year I dated a guy who was 65. He looked like he was in his early to mid 50's but he was very upfront about being 65. He was absolutely wonderful in all ways imaginable. He was fun, smart, treated me well and was great in bed. I adored him but he broke it off saying that in 15 years he'd be 80 and I'd still be a young 58 and that would be a bad deal for me. I cried for like two days until I realized he was absolutely right. I'm now dating someone closer to my age and he is dating someone in her late 50's. We are still good friends but oh how I wish he was 15 years younger.

Here's the thing. The average marriage these days lasts 10 years. So you could marry your younger guy and STILL very easily wind up single again at 58. Hope it lasts longer but these days you never know.

Yeah, at least with the older guy, if he dies, he might leave you with some money.

Assuming he has money.

I know a 24yo Philippine woman who is married to a 64yo Fed mid level manager. All she has to do is f+=k him until he dies and she gets half his Fed pension for her remaining 50 years. Gotta love our government.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and last year I dated a guy who was 65. He looked like he was in his early to mid 50's but he was very upfront about being 65. He was absolutely wonderful in all ways imaginable. He was fun, smart, treated me well and was great in bed. I adored him but he broke it off saying that in 15 years he'd be 80 and I'd still be a young 58 and that would be a bad deal for me. I cried for like two days until I realized he was absolutely right. I'm now dating someone closer to my age and he is dating someone in her late 50's. We are still good friends but oh how I wish he was 15 years younger.

Here's the thing. The average marriage these days lasts 10 years. So you could marry your younger guy and STILL very easily wind up single again at 58. Hope it lasts longer but these days you never know.

Yeah, at least with the older guy, if he dies, he might leave you with some money.

Assuming he has money.

I know a 24yo Philippine woman who is married to a 64yo Fed mid level manager. All she has to do is f+=k him until he dies and she gets half his Fed pension for her remaining 50 years. Gotta love our government.

If she's happy with that arrangement, no judgement from me, but 64 and 24 is way bigger age difference than 65 and 43 -- not just the number of years, but the stages of life. I don't think 43 and 65 is even that big of a deal, especially if he has some kind of special status or money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and last year I dated a guy who was 65. He looked like he was in his early to mid 50's but he was very upfront about being 65. He was absolutely wonderful in all ways imaginable. He was fun, smart, treated me well and was great in bed. I adored him but he broke it off saying that in 15 years he'd be 80 and I'd still be a young 58 and that would be a bad deal for me. I cried for like two days until I realized he was absolutely right. I'm now dating someone closer to my age and he is dating someone in her late 50's. We are still good friends but oh how I wish he was 15 years younger.

Here's the thing. The average marriage these days lasts 10 years. So you could marry your younger guy and STILL very easily wind up single again at 58. Hope it lasts longer but these days you never know.

Yeah, at least with the older guy, if he dies, he might leave you with some money.

Assuming he has money.

I know a 24yo Philippine woman who is married to a 64yo Fed mid level manager. All she has to do is f+=k him until he dies and she gets half his Fed pension for her remaining 50 years. Gotta love our government.

Not just half his pension but 100 percent of his TSP, his FELGI life insurance, plus she can file for his Social Security when she gets to be retirement age. Viagra may be a greater inter-generational wealth leveler than the estate tax.

I know a similar Fed who is a little older. His idiot wife divorced him, managed to get just about nothing, and then a few years later he met and married a 40yo Filippina (she looks 25).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and last year I dated a guy who was 65. He looked like he was in his early to mid 50's but he was very upfront about being 65. He was absolutely wonderful in all ways imaginable. He was fun, smart, treated me well and was great in bed. I adored him but he broke it off saying that in 15 years he'd be 80 and I'd still be a young 58 and that would be a bad deal for me. I cried for like two days until I realized he was absolutely right. I'm now dating someone closer to my age and he is dating someone in her late 50's. We are still good friends but oh how I wish he was 15 years younger.

Here's the thing. The average marriage these days lasts 10 years. So you could marry your younger guy and STILL very easily wind up single again at 58. Hope it lasts longer but these days you never know.

Yeah, at least with the older guy, if he dies, he might leave you with some money.

Assuming he has money.

I know a 24yo Philippine woman who is married to a 64yo Fed mid level manager. All she has to do is f+=k him until he dies and she gets half his Fed pension for her remaining 50 years. Gotta love our government.

Not just half his pension but 100 percent of his TSP, his FELGI life insurance, plus she can file for his Social Security when she gets to be retirement age. Viagra may be a greater inter-generational wealth leveler than the estate tax.

I know a similar Fed who is a little older. His idiot wife divorced him, managed to get just about nothing, and then a few years later he met and married a 40yo Filippina (she looks 25).

Thanks for putting the seed in my head. I’m a 61 divorced with with no kids fed with a 70k FERS pension coming, 850k TSP, 700k FIGLI, plus Social Security. I can fly to the Philippines and find a hot nursing student from a poor family. Bring her back, get her teeth fixed, mary her, and have porn star sex twice a day. She can take care of me when I get old and when I die she gets it all. It’s a win win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for putting the seed in my head. I’m a 61 divorced with with no kids fed with a 70k FERS pension coming, 850k TSP, 700k FIGLI, plus Social Security. I can fly to the Philippines and find a hot nursing student from a poor family. Bring her back, get her teeth fixed, mary her, and have porn star sex twice a day. She can take care of me when I get old and when I die she gets it all. It’s a win win.

You don't want to marry her. Keep her here on a visa. That way the threat of having her deported will always keep the porn star sex coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and last year I dated a guy who was 65. He looked like he was in his early to mid 50's but he was very upfront about being 65. He was absolutely wonderful in all ways imaginable. He was fun, smart, treated me well and was great in bed. I adored him but he broke it off saying that in 15 years he'd be 80 and I'd still be a young 58 and that would be a bad deal for me. I cried for like two days until I realized he was absolutely right. I'm now dating someone closer to my age and he is dating someone in her late 50's. We are still good friends but oh how I wish he was 15 years younger.

Here's the thing. The average marriage these days lasts 10 years. So you could marry your younger guy and STILL very easily wind up single again at 58. Hope it lasts longer but these days you never know.

Yeah, at least with the older guy, if he dies, he might leave you with some money.

Assuming he has money.

I know a 24yo Philippine woman who is married to a 64yo Fed mid level manager. All she has to do is f+=k him until he dies and she gets half his Fed pension for her remaining 50 years. Gotta love our government.

Not just half his pension but 100 percent of his TSP, his FELGI life insurance, plus she can file for his Social Security when she gets to be retirement age. Viagra may be a greater inter-generational wealth leveler than the estate tax.

I know a similar Fed who is a little older. His idiot wife divorced him, managed to get just about nothing, and then a few years later he met and married a 40yo Filippina (she looks 25).

Not necessarily.That 64 yo might have FEGLI, TSP, etc in his kids or ex-wife's name still or give it to charity. Plenty of Feds die having never changed anything over to the new spouse. And his pension might already go partially to an ex-wife, depending on the divorce decree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I don't know what happened! Divorced mom with 2 kids, sane, fit, and good looking for my age. I cannot find a decent guy that's looking for a LTR. I can hookup every night of the week, but WTF?

First off, do not pay attention to people who say you have all this baggage. Dating is hard at any age - note in terms of finding a date, which is obviously easier in college, but someone you can connect with and build something. Do activities where you are likely to find single men - industry conferences, golf, etc. It's a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus at our age, a lot of the guys our age are fine with dating younger women, but the guys who are older than us can seem so... old. The difference between 40 and 50 can seem like a lot if the 50-year-old hasn't taken care of himself.

The definition of "really... old" is always "ten years older than what you are now".

30 seems really old to 20.
40 seems really old to 30.
50 seems really old to 40.

Doesn’t quite work this way for women seeking men. Accomplished, wealthy men have no problems attracting younger women. Being good looking is a plus, but hardly dispositive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and last year I dated a guy who was 65. He looked like he was in his early to mid 50's but he was very upfront about being 65. He was absolutely wonderful in all ways imaginable. He was fun, smart, treated me well and was great in bed. I adored him but he broke it off saying that in 15 years he'd be 80 and I'd still be a young 58 and that would be a bad deal for me. I cried for like two days until I realized he was absolutely right. I'm now dating someone closer to my age and he is dating someone in her late 50's. We are still good friends but oh how I wish he was 15 years younger.

Here's the thing. The average marriage these days lasts 10 years. So you could marry your younger guy and STILL very easily wind up single again at 58. Hope it lasts longer but these days you never know.

Yeah, at least with the older guy, if he dies, he might leave you with some money.

Assuming he has money.

I know a 24yo Philippine woman who is married to a 64yo Fed mid level manager. All she has to do is f+=k him until he dies and she gets half his Fed pension for her remaining 50 years. Gotta love our government.

The fed could live another 40 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been dating since my early 20s in DC. I'm only getting married now in my early 30s. The dating scene in DC is just bad.

DC women are just picky.

But nerdy average to below average people here seem to couple off just fine.