Why is dating so hard once you hit 40?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are old and have baggage.

This is harsh but +1.

OP where did you get the idea it would be easy, seriously?

Yup. My SIL is seriously hot, but she has a kid and some other baggage, and it's just not that easy. It was hard 10 years ago when she was still in her 30s. Why? Because she has a kid. LTR relationships are so much more complicated once one party has a kid. Because the kid's needs matter too.

[Anonymous]

The guys your age have been there and done that with children. They don't want to help raise yours. On the other hand women in their early 40's are at their sexual peak which is why ONS are so attractive. Either go with the flow o wait until you are an empty nester.

[Anonymous]

40 is a really difficult age for dating if you have never married. If you're a woman, you're "too old" for men who want kids. If you're a man, you're either a "player" who can't be trusted, or you're "damaged goods" and are sort of stigmatized.

[Anonymous]

Dating is hard when you’re 50 yo guy with kids - lol. Welcome to the club. In my experience women with kids are more understanding. Those who don’t have kids seem to be on quest or are stuck in a rut of singledoom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I don't know what happened! Divorced mom with 2 kids, sane, fit, and good looking for my age. I cannot find a decent guy that's looking for a LTR. I can hookup every night of the week, but WTF?

The problem isn't that you're 40, it's the fact that you have 2 kids and children never really leave their mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I don't know what happened! Divorced mom with 2 kids, sane, fit, and good looking for my age. I cannot find a decent guy that's looking for a LTR. I can hookup every night of the week, but WTF?

The problem isn't that you're 40, it's the fact that you have 2 kids and children never really leave their mothers.

Tell that to my hot ex wife that left me with the kids to enjoy a single care free life.

[Anonymous]

I'm early forties with one child and I don't have trouble meeting men who want an LTR. I've explicitly stated on my online profile that I'm seeking an LTR, I know I've scared away a lot of guys but I've also attracted the ones who are serious about finding the one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I don't know what happened! Divorced mom with 2 kids, sane, fit, and good looking for my age. I cannot find a decent guy that's looking for a LTR. I can hookup every night of the week, but WTF?

The problem isn't that you're 40, it's the fact that you have 2 kids and children never really leave their mothers.

Tell that to my hot ex wife that left me with the kids to enjoy a single care free life.

Your hot ex is probably a statistical outlier. Look at the aggregate! Mothers tend to be the custodial parents instead of fathers. Even in cases of joint custody, women bear a heavier responsibility for childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I don't know what happened! Divorced mom with 2 kids, sane, fit, and good looking for my age. I cannot find a decent guy that's looking for a LTR. I can hookup every night of the week, but WTF?

Define "decent guy". What percentage are you excluding based on height, income, and looks?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 45 yo married woman in DC. I have several 40something female friends in DC who are lovely, intelligent, childless -- and have trouble finding men for LTRs. So honestly I'm not surprised for 40yo w/ 2 kids. I have to figure it would be harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to lug your baggage. Guys in their 40s either are divorced (and have their own baggage to deal with) or are players seeing women 10 years younger.

You'll need to aim 10 years older if you want to find a LTR at your age with two kids.

basically this

[Anonymous]

As a woman in her early thirties, divorcing, with two kids, readig this is depressing.

[Anonymous]

Smaller pool, men can date younger women, but you also have less tolerance for BS. You’re probably pickier than you were in your 20s, which isn’t a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

I think it's attitude and swag. I'm 48 and am having the time of my life. I'm divorced with 2 kids. I tend to like older guys.
I have met some gems! I'm dating a guy who is 58 and I could not be happier. I also don't have little kids. My kids are 15 and 19.

I am super confident and exude that. I've started calling myself Nola Darling (you might have to look that up). It's like an embarrassment of riches.

When I divorced, I set out to do every single thing I ever wanted to do. I think the zest of life shows and makes me more attractive.

[Anonymous]

I'm just worried that once we separate, me and DH, the grass won't be greener on the other side of the fence, just the same green.