Is It wrong to expect a high salary boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here -- will add that I think that coming from humble beginnings may have caused you to focus on income over wealth. now that you have an high income, you can use it to CREATE wealth. that's how rich people get and stay rich.

She doesnt have a high income and it looks like her income earning prospects are not good bc she wants to be a SAH. They all say just for a few years they will be SAh and they never go back to work and you carry them for the next 40 years. When I was dating 10 years ago (making $400k in mid 30’s), these chicas were a dime a dozen. Finally found someone who was truly interested in having a career — not getting pregnant and then being cared for like a child for the next 40 years.

Op here. I wouldn't throw away my career. I would like to stay home PT for the first 6-12 months after having a baby, and then return to work. I would be bored if I stayed home all the time.

OP, if you just want to stay home for a year, you can certainly save enough money now to do that. If you are going back to work, your current salary is plenty to take care of a family. What is this question really about? Do you feel like you won't respect a man who doesn't have a high salary? Have you ever been in love before or had a partnership?

[Anonymous]

I would only date someone with a significantly lower income if he is willing to do a lot of the things that a woman would do for a man with a much higher income. Namely, nearly always put my career ahead of his own, make his social schedule flexible to fit around my work schedule, know how to cook/clean (or be extremely handy), and be really good with kids.

[Anonymous]

OP is shallow and has horrible grammar. Maybe work on getting a tutor with your 180k salary. You sound insufferable. There's a reason you're 32 and still single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here -- will add that I think that coming from humble beginnings may have caused you to focus on income over wealth. now that you have an high income, you can use it to CREATE wealth. that's how rich people get and stay rich.

She doesnt have a high income and it looks like her income earning prospects are not good bc she wants to be a SAH. They all say just for a few years they will be SAh and they never go back to work and you carry them for the next 40 years. When I was dating 10 years ago (making $400k in mid 30’s), these chicas were a dime a dozen. Finally found someone who was truly interested in having a career — not getting pregnant and then being cared for like a child for the next 40 years.

Op here. I wouldn't throw away my career. I would like to stay home PT for the first 6-12 months after having a baby, and then return to work. I would be bored if I stayed home all the time.

Whatever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here -- will add that I think that coming from humble beginnings may have caused you to focus on income over wealth. now that you have an high income, you can use it to CREATE wealth. that's how rich people get and stay rich.

She doesnt have a high income and it looks like her income earning prospects are not good bc she wants to be a SAH. They all say just for a few years they will be SAh and they never go back to work and you carry them for the next 40 years. When I was dating 10 years ago (making $400k in mid 30’s), these chicas were a dime a dozen. Finally found someone who was truly interested in having a career — not getting pregnant and then being cared for like a child for the next 40 years.

Op here. I wouldn't throw away my career. I would like to stay home PT for the first 6-12 months after having a baby, and then return to work. I would be bored if I stayed home all the time.

OP, if you just want to stay home for a year, you can certainly save enough money now to do that. If you are going back to work, your current salary is plenty to take care of a family. What is this question really about? Do you feel like you won't respect a man who doesn't have a high salary? Have you ever been in love before or had a partnership?

Op here. Yes. My ex-boyfriend made half of what I make. I didn't mind at all. We broke up for different reasons unrelated to salary.

[Anonymous]

OP, seriously seriously consider investing your money. It will give you an amazing feeling of freedom to have an income stream that is independent of your job, and you may find yourself less stressed while "judging" the men you are considering dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, seriously seriously consider investing your money. It will give you an amazing feeling of freedom to have an income stream that is independent of your job, and you may find yourself less stressed while "judging" the men you are considering dating.

Op here. I do invest and saving. I am frugal and live on $40k a year. I lived on 30k when I was making $80k at my previous job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is this you?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/673464.page

Seems very similar to me. I think there are other issues at play for OP that are making it difficult for her to find a husband.

[Anonymous]

Op is a loser.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion, not wrong. I wanted a guy making at least what I made (close to 100k at the time a decade ago). It is fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I look for men who make at least my salary, if the they don't mention their salary then I try to estimate it based on education and industry they're in. If they make less then my salary, I would think that there's something wrong with them, I'm a single mom an immigrant and I'm behind 10 years in my career, I make good money but not enough by DCUM standards. I don't look like a model but I have been on several dates with high earners.

Beware OP, some of them are cheap (beyond frugal) so you might not get access to all their $.

Hope no guys are stupid enough to pick up the slack of this horrid case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op is a loser.

Op is a loser because she wants a high income earner? Funny you're calling her a loser considering most women on this board are SAHMs who live off of their husbands income. Op makes more than most of you on this board. For women like us, we know that a man can only add to our success, he can never become it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would only date someone with a significantly lower income if he is willing to do a lot of the things that a woman would do for a man with a much higher income. Namely, nearly always put my career ahead of his own, make his social schedule flexible to fit around my work schedule, know how to cook/clean (or be extremely handy), and be really good with kids.

Society doesn't accept men who work from home like they do with women. They are just presumed to be bums or lazy. Women have more flexibility on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would only date someone with a significantly lower income if he is willing to do a lot of the things that a woman would do for a man with a much higher income. Namely, nearly always put my career ahead of his own, make his social schedule flexible to fit around my work schedule, know how to cook/clean (or be extremely handy), and be really good with kids.

Society doesn't accept men who work from home like they do with women. They are just presumed to be bums or lazy. Women have more flexibility on this.

I am not sure what you mean "work from home."

I make slightly more than the OP of this thread.

Am I willing to date a teacher who mostly gets his work done during school hours, makes his evenings and weekends available when I am free, would be willing to be default parent, and knows how to change his own oil? Yes.
Would I date a teacher who also coaches high school football, acts like nothing is as important as his work, has his evenings and weekends eaten up by coaching/watching football, expects his wife to take care of anything at home, would never move for my job, and can't do anything around the house but mow the lawn? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy I don't care much about your income but I lie about mine, significantly. I need to see if there is a physical attraction first and compatible values.

If I was physically attracted to you and had compatible values but I found out you make $50K instead of the $150K you told me, relationship is over before it begins.

I would assume he'd skew down. You ok with the fact that I make $50K, our chemistry is good, we have compatible values? OH, BTW, I underestimated my salary and actually make 150K. THAT.