Is It wrong to expect a high salary boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy I don't care much about your income but I lie about mine, significantly. I need to see if there is a physical attraction first and compatible values.

If I was physically attracted to you and had compatible values but I found out you make $50K instead of the $150K you told me, relationship is over before it begins.

Op here. I agree. If a guy lied and made significantly less, it's over. It's the same bait and switch men whine about over sex. I won't fool you into thinking certain things, and I expect the same respect in return. I'm too old childish games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please also screen for chemistry.

It sounds like you want kids and the best thing that you can do for children is provide them with a stable, loving home. Divorce, lots of fighting, etc can really damage children even though no one likes to admit it.

If you don't marry someone that you'll still want to sleep with even after kids, then you're setting your marriage up for failure.

Op here. I agree. My parents are divorced, and I don't want that for my future children.

Sexual chemistry is also very important to me. I believe in putting marriage before kids for the sake of a long-lasting marriage. I don't ever want to lose that spark, or get lazy and not give my husband sex.

Starting to smell trollish.

Op here. I'm a troll because I believe sex is important. Most marriages end due to financial issues and lack of sex. I am sorry you don't view keeping your spouse satisfied as a non-negotiable. I wouldn't be surprised if you're in a sexless marriage.

No, you're a troll because you think sex is something wives "give" husbands unless they "get lazy." I have plenty of sex (with my high income husband, even!), but it's not gifted in either direction. That's a high schooler's thought process, or an MRA's.

Sorry you're not getting the attention you'd hoped for in online dating though. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I love it that the OP does not live near DC, and is neither a mom or dad.

How do people find this forum?

the internet is your friend. google it dingbat

Um, I think what this person means is, why do people who don't live in DC and are not parents post on a DC parents forum?

Certainly there are a few websites out there for people who are not DC parents. Or are the wisest people only to be found here?

This is not just a parents forum. Jeff said everyone is welcome.

Are you a friend of Jeff's?

No but Jeff has said in my forums that the forum is open to anyone, regardless if you're a non-parent or where you live. Get off your superior high horse. I will post regardless of whether you like it. This is not your forum so MYOB. It must suck to go through life so bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy I don't care much about your income but I lie about mine, significantly. I need to see if there is a physical attraction first and compatible values.

If I was physically attracted to you and had compatible values but I found out you make $50K instead of the $150K you told me, relationship is over before it begins.

Good riddance. I "make" what I need to live on. I lie in the direction of being barely paid though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I love it that the OP does not live near DC, and is neither a mom or dad.

How do people find this forum?

the internet is your friend. google it dingbat

Um, I think what this person means is, why do people who don't live in DC and are not parents post on a DC parents forum?

Certainly there are a few websites out there for people who are not DC parents. Or are the wisest people only to be found here?

This is not just a parents forum. Jeff said everyone is welcome.

Are you a friend of Jeff's?

No but Jeff has said in my forums that the forum is open to anyone, regardless if you're a non-parent or where you live. Get off your superior high horse. I will post regardless of whether you like it. This is not your forum so MYOB. It must suck to go through life so bitter.

* many forums

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy I don't care much about your income but I lie about mine, significantly. I need to see if there is a physical attraction first and compatible values.

If I was physically attracted to you and had compatible values but I found out you make $50K instead of the $150K you told me, relationship is over before it begins.

Good riddance. I "make" what I need to live on. I lie in the direction of being barely paid though.

Still a bait and switch. If you expect a cook or lots of oral sex, and a woman lied to you about doing it, you would feel fooled. It's not right in either situation. You need to stop playing childish games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I love it that the OP does not live near DC, and is neither a mom or dad.

How do people find this forum?

the internet is your friend. google it dingbat

Um, I think what this person means is, why do people who don't live in DC and are not parents post on a DC parents forum?

Certainly there are a few websites out there for people who are not DC parents. Or are the wisest people only to be found here?

This is not just a parents forum. Jeff said everyone is welcome.

Are you a friend of Jeff's?

No but Jeff has said in my forums that the forum is open to anyone, regardless if you're a non-parent or where you live. Get off your superior high horse. I will post regardless of whether you like it. This is not your forum so MYOB. It must suck to go through life so bitter.

* many forums

Are you the person who calls people 'dingbat' all the time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please also screen for chemistry.

It sounds like you want kids and the best thing that you can do for children is provide them with a stable, loving home. Divorce, lots of fighting, etc can really damage children even though no one likes to admit it.

If you don't marry someone that you'll still want to sleep with even after kids, then you're setting your marriage up for failure.

Op here. I agree. My parents are divorced, and I don't want that for my future children.

Sexual chemistry is also very important to me. I believe in putting marriage before kids for the sake of a long-lasting marriage. I don't ever want to lose that spark, or get lazy and not give my husband sex.

Starting to smell trollish.

Op here. I'm a troll because I believe sex is important. Most marriages end due to financial issues and lack of sex. I am sorry you don't view keeping your spouse satisfied as a non-negotiable. I wouldn't be surprised if you're in a sexless marriage.

No, you're a troll because you think sex is something wives "give" husbands unless they "get lazy." I have plenty of sex (with my high income husband, even!), but it's not gifted in either direction. That's a high schooler's thought process, or an MRA's.

Sorry you're not getting the attention you'd hoped for in online dating though. Good luck!

Op here. Sex is not owed but it doesn't take a brainiac to know men and women need sex. Look at all of these forums from men who say their wives got lazy and won't have sex. I personally experienced a family members marriage breakup over lack of sex. I believe sex is very important, and I will make sure my future husband is always satisfied.

I get plenty of attention online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I love it that the OP does not live near DC, and is neither a mom or dad.

How do people find this forum?

the internet is your friend. google it dingbat

Um, I think what this person means is, why do people who don't live in DC and are not parents post on a DC parents forum?

Certainly there are a few websites out there for people who are not DC parents. Or are the wisest people only to be found here?

This is not just a parents forum. Jeff said everyone is welcome.

Are you a friend of Jeff's?

No but Jeff has said in my forums that the forum is open to anyone, regardless if you're a non-parent or where you live. Get off your superior high horse. I will post regardless of whether you like it. This is not your forum so MYOB. It must suck to go through life so bitter.

* many forums

Are you the person who calls people 'dingbat' all the time?

No, but still doesn't change the fact that anyone has the right to post on here. This is not an exclusive forum. Stop acting like you're better than everyone because you're from the area of a parent. You're sense of superiority is annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I love it that the OP does not live near DC, and is neither a mom or dad.

How do people find this forum?

the internet is your friend. google it dingbat

Um, I think what this person means is, why do people who don't live in DC and are not parents post on a DC parents forum?

Certainly there are a few websites out there for people who are not DC parents. Or are the wisest people only to be found here?

This is not just a parents forum. Jeff said everyone is welcome.

Are you a friend of Jeff's?

No but Jeff has said in my forums that the forum is open to anyone, regardless if you're a non-parent or where you live. Get off your superior high horse. I will post regardless of whether you like it. This is not your forum so MYOB. It must suck to go through life so bitter.

* many forums

Are you the person who calls people 'dingbat' all the time?

No, but still doesn't change the fact that anyone has the right to post on here. This is not an exclusive forum. Stop acting like you're better than everyone because you're from the area of a parent. You're sense of superiority is annoying.

"From the area of a parent"?

I think you need to learn to read and spell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy I don't care much about your income but I lie about mine, significantly. I need to see if there is a physical attraction first and compatible values.

If I was physically attracted to you and had compatible values but I found out you make $50K instead of the $150K you told me, relationship is over before it begins.

Good riddance. I "make" what I need to live on. I lie in the direction of being barely paid though.

Still a bait and switch. If you expect a cook or lots of oral sex, and a woman lied to you about doing it, you would feel fooled. It's not right in either situation. You need to stop playing childish games.

Not a switch, but less filtering. I don't say anything about what I make, only imply (imply less). I don't want a woman, who will make it important for me to know that she makes 180k. She might be making 180 and spending 200.

[Anonymous]

I look for men who make at least my salary, if the they don't mention their salary then I try to estimate it based on education and industry they're in. If they make less then my salary, I would think that there's something wrong with them, I'm a single mom an immigrant and I'm behind 10 years in my career, I make good money but not enough by DCUM standards. I don't look like a model but I have been on several dates with high earners.

Beware OP, some of them are cheap (beyond frugal) so you might not get access to all their $.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I look for men who make at least my salary, if the they don't mention their salary then I try to estimate it based on education and industry they're in. If they make less then my salary, I would think that there's something wrong with them, I'm a single mom an immigrant and I'm behind 10 years in my career, I make good money but not enough by DCUM standards. I don't look like a model but I have been on several dates with high earners.

Beware OP, some of them are cheap (beyond frugal) so you might not get access to all their $.

Op here. I don't need " access to all of their money". I make my own money. I am not a big spender either. I would like a guy with a decent income so we can afford to raise 2-3 kids, have a now home, afford family vacations, etc. I do not expect he make a big salary so I can spend it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I look for men who make at least my salary, if the they don't mention their salary then I try to estimate it based on education and industry they're in. If they make less then my salary, I would think that there's something wrong with them, I'm a single mom an immigrant and I'm behind 10 years in my career, I make good money but not enough by DCUM standards. I don't look like a model but I have been on several dates with high earners.

Beware OP, some of them are cheap (beyond frugal) so you might not get access to all their $.

Op here. I don't need " access to all of their money". I make my own money. I am not a big spender either. I would like a guy with a decent income so we can afford to raise 2-3 kids, have a now home, afford family vacations, etc. I do not expect he make a big salary so I can spend it.

* nice home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think $50k is totally reasonable, because as others said, that's mostly self-sustaining level of income in DC. You're not looking for a rich guy. You're just looking for a professional or above guy. I'd make exceptions for guys currently in school. While guys may not actively screen as much, i'd hope any of my professional guy friends would mentally screen and ultimately end up with a woman making at least that. So not a gender thing. Just a self-sustaining professional thing.

So she should only be looking for someone "self-sustaining"?

I think self-sustaining is a minumum threshold. My thought is if both people are at self-sustaining before they get together, as long as they don’t step up in spending right away they should be #winning when it comes to saving money for a home, kids, to stay home a few years etc. That alone will help ease the financial pressures and one of the big reasons couples argue.