Is It wrong to expect a high salary boyfriend?
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Anonymous
| I know I am going to be scrutinized and shamed for this, but hear me out. I am trying online dating, and I make high salary ( 180k). I am getting messages from guys that have their salaries listed, and it's a huge difference. I don't expect a rich guy, but is it wrong to screen a guy to make at least over 50k a year? I grew up with little money as a child, and I do not want to my future children to grow up like that. Do I need a reality check? I do not have any crazy requirements for height, profession, age, etc. All I am looking for is someoem within 10 years of my age, attractive to me, fit ( dad bod, okay), and what's marriage and kids. |
Anonymous
| How old are you? |
Anonymous
| I think it's perfectly reasonable to screen out people who don't earn $50k per year if they're not a post-doc or in med school. I'd say the same for a man screening potential women. |
Anonymous
| I have the same issue so no advice. I am 26 (F) and make $110K. |
Anonymous
Well, if you make $180K, your children are not going to grow up poor. And you can screen for income if you want. You might screen out people with currently low salaries but high earning potential that way, of course, to say nothing of other qualities, but that's your call. Personally, I would be more interested in whether or not someone has a good employment history and work ethic, rather than their current salary, but you do you. |
Anonymous
| If we're talking about a $50k threshold, I think that's more of a self-sufficient boyfriend rather than a high earning one, which seems like a reasonable ask. |
Anonymous
|
I think $50,000 for an adult especially living in this area is reasonable.
However, just because you are making X now and the guy is making X now doesn't prevent you from future financial hardship. |
Anonymous
| Nope. Nothing wrong with it and no need to be apologetic. But agree you may want to consider those with potential to become high earners. |
Anonymous
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High salary men are usually looking for trophy type women. Women that look a certain way regardless of accomplishment. So if you are not trophy material (unattractive or so-so) don't cast your line in that pond. Go for a nice looking, hard working guy who will be a good husband and dad even if he does have a little p..
aycheck. |
Anonymous
| Perhaps you should learn spelling and grammar before demanding a high salary. |
Anonymous
|
You said "high salary." I don't think you meant "high" as in above 50k especially when you're making $180k.
Seriously, how much do you expect your potential date/boyfriend earns? |
Anonymous
|
I wouldn't necessarily use salary but rather look at the whole picture--what is their education, profession, current position vs ambition. (meaning are they a post doc or in training, etc)
My DH made around $60k when we met and now makes over $600k. Incomes change. |
Anonymous
| You can screen for whatever you want, but be aware that people lie on those apps all the time (including well-off guys who don't list an income because they don't want to attract women who are looking primarily at income). I think if you screen for education and then personality you will weed out guys that are going nowhere. Like another PP said, you don't have to worry about your kids growing up poor due to your salary, so you just need to make sure you get a guy who pulls his own weight. |
Anonymous
| I think $50k is totally reasonable, because as others said, that's mostly self-sustaining level of income in DC. You're not looking for a rich guy. You're just looking for a professional or above guy. I'd make exceptions for guys currently in school. While guys may not actively screen as much, i'd hope any of my professional guy friends would mentally screen and ultimately end up with a woman making at least that. So not a gender thing. Just a self-sustaining professional thing. |
Anonymous
So she should only be looking for someone "self-sustaining"? |