Is It wrong to expect a high salary boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

"Wrong?" No, as far as I'm concerned, everyone is entitled to screen for whatever they want. Go ahead and screen for income, zodiac sign, ear wiggling abilities, or whatever else your heart desires. As long as you don't complain that others' screening preferences are "wrong" or "unfair."

[Anonymous]

Op here. I am turning 32 in a month. I get the money thing because before my advancement, I was making 80k. I collectively look if they posted a salary, their edcuation level, job, etc. I would hope to stay home PT in the beginning if I have children, and hope to marry a guy who makes enough for that to happen. I know levels of income change, and most men don't start earning higher incomes until their 30's or 40's. I am talking about a couple of guys who have a liberal arts degree and make 30-40k. I don't want to be a snob, but I would hope to find a guy who possess at least a bachelors degree ( I have a masters).

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP but it all depends on how attractive and fit you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Wrong?" No, as far as I'm concerned, everyone is entitled to screen for whatever they want. Go ahead and screen for income, zodiac sign, ear wiggling abilities, or whatever else your heart desires. As long as you don't complain that others' screening preferences are "wrong" or "unfair."

Op here. I am aware everyone had preferences and that's fine. I don't take any offense to the guys who posted for a particular height, weight, hair color, eye color, education level, profession, etc. Its what they like, and they are entitled to look for what they want.

[Anonymous]

Unless you're very attractive, don't look only for high earners because they probably won't be looking for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps you should learn spelling and grammar before demanding a high salary.

She can hire you to proof read. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP but it all depends on how attractive and fit you are.

Op here. I'm well aware I'm not a model but I get my fair share of male attention. I am very fit with ample assests. I am not looking for a hot model either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you're very attractive, don't look only for high earners because they probably won't be looking for you.

50k is a not a high earner. Op isn't asking for a guy to make 200+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am turning 32 in a month. I get the money thing because before my advancement, I was making 80k. I collectively look if they posted a salary, their edcuation level, job, etc. I would hope to stay home PT in the beginning if I have children, and hope to marry a guy who makes enough for that to happen. I know levels of income change, and most men don't start earning higher incomes until their 30's or 40's. I am talking about a couple of guys who have a liberal arts degree and make 30-40k. I don't want to be a snob, but I would hope to find a guy who possess at least a bachelors degree ( I have a masters).

I think this is perfectly reasonable. When I was 32 I was dismissive of any guy who had a job inferior or worse paid than my own. My DH who I met at 35 was earning a fraction more than me when we met - and in a great career which has advanced greatly over the past 15 years. So I totally get it.

I think you need to look elsewhere for your boyfriends OP. Is there a private / exclusive kind of dating site / club etc that you can join?

Or can you expand your personal hobbies into actual places where you are more likely to meet these kinds of men? I didn't meet my DH online I met him on a yoga retreat. It was full of music execs, and other entertainment industry folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am turning 32 in a month. I get the money thing because before my advancement, I was making 80k. I collectively look if they posted a salary, their edcuation level, job, etc. I would hope to stay home PT in the beginning if I have children, and hope to marry a guy who makes enough for that to happen. I know levels of income change, and most men don't start earning higher incomes until their 30's or 40's. I am talking about a couple of guys who have a liberal arts degree and make 30-40k. I don't want to be a snob, but I would hope to find a guy who possess at least a bachelors degree ( I have a masters).

I think this is perfectly reasonable. When I was 32 I was dismissive of any guy who had a job inferior or worse paid than my own. My DH who I met at 35 was earning a fraction more than me when we met - and in a great career which has advanced greatly over the past 15 years. So I totally get it.

I think you need to look elsewhere for your boyfriends OP. Is there a private / exclusive kind of dating site / club etc that you can join?

Or can you expand your personal hobbies into actual places where you are more likely to meet these kinds of men? I didn't meet my DH online I met him on a yoga retreat. It was full of music execs, and other entertainment industry folks.

Op here. I am fine with a student. I work in a hospital, but my last relationship didn't go well. I do not want to date a co-worker again. I'm boring lol. My hobbies are the gym, hiking, rock climbing, camping, trying new restaurants, bars, and hanging with friends.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. Ultimately, you're the one who will be in the relationship so don't worry about what other people think. If you're a person who has a high need for financial security then date those guys. When I was dating it was important to me that a girl was fit and had a lifetime view of fitness. Is that shallow? Possibly, but it was important to me. 16 years later we're both still happily married.

My wife's aunt married a rich guy. After he passed away she married another rich guy. According to her its just as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor man.

[Anonymous]

OP I'm in a very similar boat- worked in investment banking for many years after college and so stared off at a pretty high income (at least relative to my peers).

Screen all you want. I'm attractive and haven't had any trouble at all finding really great dates, at least on paper- high salaries, very smart, intellectually curious, good pedigrees, etc.

I met my current boyfriend through a grad school friend, but I'd recommend either more "exclusive" dating apps like The League, or asking your guy friends (co workers if you're comfortable?) to help set you up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High salary men are usually looking for trophy type women. Women that look a certain way regardless of accomplishment. So if you are not trophy material (unattractive or so-so) don't cast your line in that pond. Go for a nice looking, hard working guy who will be a good husband and dad even if he does have a little p..

aycheck.

Not true at all. I am in my early 40s, make about double what OP makes and I'm in shape and I have had my choice of women (I'm a good looking guy). After a few years of dating in the DC pool, I ended up falling in love with and marrying a teacher who makes about 1/6 of my salary. Yes, she is objectively a beautiful and smart woman but she also is very focused on her work and doesn't care (nor do I care either) to dress like a hot SAHM/trophy wife. She is very down to earth, confident, loves many of the same things I do.

I find it perfectly fine for you to filter out low income earners - or at least with little or no prospects to earn a high income. you do what's right for you.

[Anonymous]

If I were in my 20s a salary under 50k wouldn't faze me. I'm now in my 50s and recently saw a profile for a guy my age who seemed compatible...until I got to his salary, $35 to $50k.

I had a slight twinge of wondering if I was being a snob, followed by wondering if he lived in a group house.

[Anonymous]

Please also screen for chemistry.

It sounds like you want kids and the best thing that you can do for children is provide them with a stable, loving home. Divorce, lots of fighting, etc can really damage children even though no one likes to admit it.

If you don't marry someone that you'll still want to sleep with even after kids, then you're setting your marriage up for failure.