Ex husband and wife throwing a birthday party for our child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you invited?

OP here, yes. My ex sent me an evite.

Then go to the party. Smile and nod and have an adult beverage. Be the bigger person for your child's sake. She will appreciate it when she gets older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is pretty nice of your ex and his wife to offer OP. My DH and his ex make their poor kid have 2 seperate birthday celebrations so they don't have to be in the same room together.

LOL Yes I'll bet the kid is suffering having to have two parties.

She's not having two parties, nor has she ever.

Many do with divorced parents. The dad with his new spouse, his side of the family and the mom has her celebration whether it's a holiday or birthday. I wouldn't go to my exes house, I'd feel like a unwanted ass even if I did get the sympathy invite which in this case is what OP received.

OP here, usually for her birthday, she invites a few friends over for cake and ice cream and they watch a movie. The reason her dad wants to throw this party is partly out of guilt because he's so focused on his other kid's birthdays (one who's birthday is around DD's) that he didn't take time to acknowledge hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you get a personal invitation directly from step-mom, you have not been invited. What your DD wants, thinks should happen is not important - not even on her birthday. If you get the above invitation, I do think you should suck-it-up and go - then it's about your DD's happiness, not yours.

What???

Do not listen to this OP, what your daughter wants is extremely important, the party is for her. You should absolutely go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you get a personal invitation directly from step-mom, you have not been invited. What your DD wants, thinks should happen is not important - not even on her birthday. If you get the above invitation, I do think you should suck-it-up and go - then it's about your DD's happiness, not yours.

WTF are you talking about? OF COURSE what DD wants - particularly on her birthday - matters and is important.

Not in this case. She doesn't get what she wants when it forces her mother and step-mother and father into a very awkward, unhappy situation.

She can have a Mother/Daughter spa day or something instead of having her mom at her party.

My God this is so clueless. This poor child didn't ask for her parents to split up (apparently neither did her mother) and didn't ask for her to have to have separate parties for the rest of her life because the adults in her life are so frigging selfish (NOT you OP).

You couldn't be more wrong.

[Anonymous]

Put your DD ahead of your uncomforted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you get a personal invitation directly from step-mom, you have not been invited. What your DD wants, thinks should happen is not important - not even on her birthday. If you get the above invitation, I do think you should suck-it-up and go - then it's about your DD's happiness, not yours.

WTF are you talking about? OF COURSE what DD wants - particularly on her birthday - matters and is important.

Not in this case. She doesn't get what she wants when it forces her mother and step-mother and father into a very awkward, unhappy situation.

She can have a Mother/Daughter spa day or something instead of having her mom at her party.

My God this is so clueless. This poor child didn't ask for her parents to split up (apparently neither did her mother) and didn't ask for her to have to have separate parties for the rest of her life because the adults in her life are so frigging selfish (NOT you OP).

You couldn't be more wrong.

Not in this case. She doesn't get what she wants when it forces her mother and step-mother and father into a very awkward, unhappy situation.

She can have a Mother/Daughter spa day or something instead of having her mom at her party.


I agree or mom can have her own party on a different weekend. Most of my friends do it that way, it works for everyone.

OP needs to find out the invite is ok with the wife. I read ex only, not ex and wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put your DD ahead of your uncomforted.

Oh please, she can and have something separate with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is pretty nice of your ex and his wife to offer OP. My DH and his ex make their poor kid have 2 seperate birthday celebrations so they don't have to be in the same room together.

LOL Yes I'll bet the kid is suffering having to have two parties.

She's not having two parties, nor has she ever.

Many do with divorced parents. The dad with his new spouse, his side of the family and the mom has her celebration whether it's a holiday or birthday. I wouldn't go to my exes house, I'd feel like a unwanted ass even if I did get the sympathy invite which in this case is what OP received.

OP here, usually for her birthday, she invites a few friends over for cake and ice cream and they watch a movie. The reason her dad wants to throw this party is partly out of guilt because he's so focused on his other kid's birthdays (one who's birthday is around DD's) that he didn't take time to acknowledge hers.

I was going to say go if everyone is ok with it, but then I read where he cheated with this woman. And this was suppose to be your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is pretty nice of your ex and his wife to offer OP. My DH and his ex make their poor kid have 2 seperate birthday celebrations so they don't have to be in the same room together.

LOL Yes I'll bet the kid is suffering having to have two parties.

She's not having two parties, nor has she ever.

Many do with divorced parents. The dad with his new spouse, his side of the family and the mom has her celebration whether it's a holiday or birthday. I wouldn't go to my exes house, I'd feel like a unwanted ass even if I did get the sympathy invite which in this case is what OP received.

OP here, usually for her birthday, she invites a few friends over for cake and ice cream and they watch a movie. The reason her dad wants to throw this party is partly out of guilt because he's so focused on his other kid's birthdays (one who's birthday is around DD's) that he didn't take time to acknowledge hers.

I was going to say go if everyone is ok with it, but then I read where he cheated with this woman. And this was suppose to be your house?

Yes, originally we were in the process of buying his current house together. Then it came out that his current wife was pregnant and he told me he was unhappy in the marriage and wanted a divorce. I wouldn't have been able to afford the house on my own so that's why I'm not living in it. He went ahead and put money together with his wife and they ended up moving in there together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is pretty nice of your ex and his wife to offer OP. My DH and his ex make their poor kid have 2 seperate birthday celebrations so they don't have to be in the same room together.

LOL Yes I'll bet the kid is suffering having to have two parties.

She's not having two parties, nor has she ever.

Many do with divorced parents. The dad with his new spouse, his side of the family and the mom has her celebration whether it's a holiday or birthday. I wouldn't go to my exes house, I'd feel like a unwanted ass even if I did get the sympathy invite which in this case is what OP received.

OP here, usually for her birthday, she invites a few friends over for cake and ice cream and they watch a movie. The reason her dad wants to throw this party is partly out of guilt because he's so focused on his other kid's birthdays (one who's birthday is around DD's) that he didn't take time to acknowledge hers.

I was going to say go if everyone is ok with it, but then I read where he cheated with this woman. And this was suppose to be your house?

Yes, originally we were in the process of buying his current house together. Then it came out that his current wife was pregnant and he told me he was unhappy in the marriage and wanted a divorce. I wouldn't have been able to afford the house on my own so that's why I'm not living in it. He went ahead and put money together with his wife and they ended up moving in there together.

That's bad OP. I wouldn't talk to either one of them.

[Anonymous]

OP I am a single mother whose ex is a colossal asshole. And it doesn't matter one bit to my child.

If your daughter invited you and it means a lot to her, I would definitely go. Your discomfort matters, but she didn't ask for either one of you to be her parents or for you two to get divorced. I would just suck it up for a couple of hours and go. Both of the parents got what they wanted - a divorce. Surely you all can be civil to each other for a couple of hours.

Also, the woman was only a part of the problem. Your ex is really the one who broke up the family.

[Anonymous]

He cheated on her with a W, then got the W pregnant and ended up marrying her. Kids want i-phones today, latest games, you name it but doesn't mean they always get their way. Many times they want the parents to get back together, and that can't happen either.

OP best to explain the situation and let her know you and her can do another fun thing to celebrate. I think you need to set the boundaries now with her so this doesn't keep happening.

If you do go let us know how it all went. That wife has to be a idiot, I wouldn't allow my husband to invite you...for many reasons. Apparently she doesn't have any dignity left, nor does he.

[Anonymous]

OP I wouldn't be able to go and pretend to be nice. My face would betray my disgust at those two. I wouldn't give them more ammunition to talk about you after you leave. This is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am a single mother whose ex is a colossal asshole. And it doesn't matter one bit to my child.

If your daughter invited you and it means a lot to her, I would definitely go. Your discomfort matters, but she didn't ask for either one of you to be her parents or for you two to get divorced. I would just suck it up for a couple of hours and go. Both of the parents got what they wanted - a divorce. Surely you all can be civil to each other for a couple of hours.

Also, the woman was only a part of the problem. Your ex is really the one who broke up the family.

Believe me, I blame him more than her.

[Anonymous]

Hire a hot and handsome man to go as your date.