accidentally invited "twin" to party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Jeez, no kidding.

Yes, it's great for the kids to have their own friends, but we're talking 6 yr olds! I can tell you that my 4 yr old twins are already dealing with "one only" invitations to b'day parties and it can be hard. Of course I don't assume both are invited, but I sure appreciate the parents who do invite both. And I really hate watching one of them in tears because they can't go to a party because they weren't asked. (And this happens in a preschool class with a total of 14 kids - so not multiple classrooms, or a large crowd, or anyone who doesn't know there are twins.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Seriously. Unclench, PP. And don't host parties. You shouldn't mingle with people who have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Funny, I think the Mom is selfish and rude to assume both her kids were invited. I hate parents who treat their multiples as one.

I'm pretty sure most people hate you, regardless of multiples or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Jeez, no kidding.

Yes, it's great for the kids to have their own friends, but we're talking 6 yr olds! I can tell you that my 4 yr old twins are already dealing with "one only" invitations to b'day parties and it can be hard. Of course I don't assume both are invited, but I sure appreciate the parents who do invite both. And I really hate watching one of them in tears because they can't go to a party because they weren't asked. (And this happens in a preschool class with a total of 14 kids - so not multiple classrooms, or a large crowd, or anyone who doesn't know there are twins.)

Oh my fucking God lady. Get a grip. Your kids are not attached to the hip. They are two separate kids with two different personalities. They aren't a packaged deal. Stop treating them like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Funny, I think the Mom is selfish and rude to assume both her kids were invited. I hate parents who treat their multiples as one.

+1

I even see moms trying to drop siblings off at parties all the time. Little Suzy is sad she can't stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Jeez, no kidding.

Yes, it's great for the kids to have their own friends, but we're talking 6 yr olds! I can tell you that my 4 yr old twins are already dealing with "one only" invitations to b'day parties and it can be hard. Of course I don't assume both are invited, but I sure appreciate the parents who do invite both. And I really hate watching one of them in tears because they can't go to a party because they weren't asked. (And this happens in a preschool class with a total of 14 kids - so not multiple classrooms, or a large crowd, or anyone who doesn't know there are twins.)

Oh my fucking God lady. Get a grip. Your kids are not attached to the hip. They are two separate kids with two different personalities. They aren't a packaged deal. Stop treating them like that.

This isn't really true. I'm not a twin but I was good friends with a twin in college and they were incredibly close. Closer than regular siblings. Imagine being with someone since conception. Must be pretty cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Jeez, no kidding.

Yes, it's great for the kids to have their own friends, but we're talking 6 yr olds! I can tell you that my 4 yr old twins are already dealing with "one only" invitations to b'day parties and it can be hard. Of course I don't assume both are invited, but I sure appreciate the parents who do invite both. And I really hate watching one of them in tears because they can't go to a party because they weren't asked. (And this happens in a preschool class with a total of 14 kids - so not multiple classrooms, or a large crowd, or anyone who doesn't know there are twins.)

Oh my fucking God lady. Get a grip. Your kids are not attached to the hip. They are two separate kids with two different personalities. They aren't a packaged deal. Stop treating them like that.

This isn't really true. I'm not a twin but I was good friends with a twin in college and they were incredibly close. Closer than regular siblings. Imagine being with someone since conception. Must be pretty cool.

So you are saying they have to do everything together all the time? Birth to college. Okay then....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, my instinct was to just let it go. but I wanted to double check it. twin was in quotes b/c I haven't had coffee yet! we live in a small town house so 1 extra person does make a difference. we won't have enough seats for everyone etc and I thought it might be weird to have a kid at the party who doesn't know the other kids....but I am reminded now that at 6/7 you pretty much just play with whoever anyway. so hopefully it will all work out.
this is our first twin friend so we don't have experience with it--are twins just treated as a package deal until an older age? if you invite one, you invite both etc?

No. I wouldn't assume same sex twins are a package deal. I have 1st grade fraternal twin boys and I actually like them being invited separately to birthday parties. It was easier to do that in K, but now in 1st grade there is more of a mixing of the kids and classes so they do now often get invited together. I do wish that when parents send out birthday invites they put the name of the child being invited. If it is left unclear, and I know that the child having the party knows and is friends with both my boys and other parents are rsvping for siblings, I typically rsvp for both or I just ask the parent. I totally get that space is limited for some brthday venues and would never push both my twins on a party invite and my kids understand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Jeez, no kidding.

Yes, it's great for the kids to have their own friends, but we're talking 6 yr olds! I can tell you that my 4 yr old twins are already dealing with "one only" invitations to b'day parties and it can be hard. Of course I don't assume both are invited, but I sure appreciate the parents who do invite both. And I really hate watching one of them in tears because they can't go to a party because they weren't asked. (And this happens in a preschool class with a total of 14 kids - so not multiple classrooms, or a large crowd, or anyone who doesn't know there are twins.)

To the mom of 4 year old twins: when one of my twins gets an invite and the other doesn't the twin not going gets one on one time with the parent not taking the other twin to the party. It's a win- win for both! we do the same thing when one twin gets invited to a play date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Jeez, no kidding.

Yes, it's great for the kids to have their own friends, but we're talking 6 yr olds! I can tell you that my 4 yr old twins are already dealing with "one only" invitations to b'day parties and it can be hard. Of course I don't assume both are invited, but I sure appreciate the parents who do invite both. And I really hate watching one of them in tears because they can't go to a party because they weren't asked. (And this happens in a preschool class with a total of 14 kids - so not multiple classrooms, or a large crowd, or anyone who doesn't know there are twins.)

Oh my fucking God lady. Get a grip. Your kids are not attached to the hip. They are two separate kids with two different personalities. They aren't a packaged deal. Stop treating them like that.

Twin mom here: It is people like PP above that you most want to avoid. They don't have twins; they dont understand the dynamic, but they sure want to raise yours for you in the most hostile way. Fortunately, you know that neither of your twins needs a mom/ friend like this. The moms I have seen like this are the ones who have their child glued to their hip.

[Anonymous]

OP I think your question is a legit one. For this party, just let it go. Going forward, if the seats are limited, ask, or be specific -- invite is to John Jones. But the twin mom will probably be very grateful that you were considerate, especially in the early grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No. I wouldn't assume same sex twins are a package deal. I have 1st grade fraternal twin boys and I actually like them being invited separately to birthday parties. It was easier to do that in K, but now in 1st grade there is more of a mixing of the kids and classes so they do now often get invited together. I do wish that when parents send out birthday invites they put the name of the child being invited. If it is left unclear, and I know that the child having the party knows and is friends with both my boys and other parents are rsvping for siblings, I typically rsvp for both or I just ask the parent. I totally get that space is limited for some brthday venues and would never push both my twins on a party invite and my kids understand that.

I agree that there's absolutely no obligation to invite the other twin but you'd be surprised how quickly kids switch friends at this age. DD was close friends with one girl at this age and she had a very small birthday party and the mother, who is really wonderful, welcomed both the twins even though the second one was not really friends with her daughter. Well a few months later the second twin became even closer friends to the birthday girl and first twin is still remained a great friend. I think that if it weren't for the intimate party the second twin would have not had a chance to get to know the birthday girl as well as the birthday girl is not as outgoing as her other friends. But once the second twin got to know her they both realized they have a ton in common and that their personalities are such they have a lot of fun when they are together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Jeez, no kidding.

Yes, it's great for the kids to have their own friends, but we're talking 6 yr olds! I can tell you that my 4 yr old twins are already dealing with "one only" invitations to b'day parties and it can be hard. Of course I don't assume both are invited, but I sure appreciate the parents who do invite both. And I really hate watching one of them in tears because they can't go to a party because they weren't asked. (And this happens in a preschool class with a total of 14 kids - so not multiple classrooms, or a large crowd, or anyone who doesn't know there are twins.)

Oh my fucking God lady. Get a grip. Your kids are not attached to the hip. They are two separate kids with two different personalities. They aren't a packaged deal. Stop treating them like that.

Twin mom here: It is people like PP above that you most want to avoid. They don't have twins; they dont understand the dynamic, but they sure want to raise yours for you in the most hostile way. Fortunately, you know that neither of your twins needs a mom/ friend like this. The moms I have seen like this are the ones who have their child glued to their hip.

THANK YOU!

I totally agree.

Yes my twins are individuals, and yes (to the other pp) they get "time in" when one doesn't get to go to the party. And they're freaking human - they are old enough to know they're missing a fun event with most of their friends.

Friggin' DCUM...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Jeez, no kidding.

Yes, it's great for the kids to have their own friends, but we're talking 6 yr olds! I can tell you that my 4 yr old twins are already dealing with "one only" invitations to b'day parties and it can be hard. Of course I don't assume both are invited, but I sure appreciate the parents who do invite both. And I really hate watching one of them in tears because they can't go to a party because they weren't asked. (And this happens in a preschool class with a total of 14 kids - so not multiple classrooms, or a large crowd, or anyone who doesn't know there are twins.)

Oh my fucking God lady. Get a grip. Your kids are not attached to the hip. They are two separate kids with two different personalities. They aren't a packaged deal. Stop treating them like that.

Twin mom here: It is people like PP above that you most want to avoid. They don't have twins; they dont understand the dynamic, but they sure want to raise yours for you in the most hostile way. Fortunately, you know that neither of your twins needs a mom/ friend like this. The moms I have seen like this are the ones who have their child glued to their hip.

THANK YOU!

I totally agree.

Yes my twins are individuals, and yes (to the other pp) they get "time in" when one doesn't get to go to the party. And they're freaking human - they are old enough to know they're missing a fun event with most of their friends.

Friggin' DCUM...

The OP stated her son isn't friends with the other twin. So he is obviously not friends with this kid but now is going to the party to someone who he doesn't even know. That is bizarre. And close-in-age siblings are aware that their other siblings go to a party. Should we have to invite them too? Your kids aren't magical because they are twins. They are just the same age. It doesn't mean they are friends with the same people nor should they have to be invited to the same party. I can not stand people like you that think your kids are special. They aren't.

[Anonymous]

A whole lot going on in that post that sounds like it has very little to do with what the previous PP said. What's with the crazy resentment, PP?