accidentally invited "twin" to party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here- just wanted to say that this was incredibly helpful thread for me. I am a mom of K identical twins. Got an evite tonight for a b-day party and one twin's name was on it. Classmate knows both boys (smaller school and only identical twins up to grade 3 so are known for that). Glad for the tips on how to handle b/c this will be the 1st time only one twin was invited. I know uninvited twin will be upset (particularly b/c all his best friends are invited) but this will give us a good opportunity to start a tradition of doing something special one-on-one with him which we never get to do (there is also an older sib in the picture).

I'm grateful that they specified a name but would have emailed mom asking for clarification if they hadn't.

I hate to fuel the fire, but are you sure this wasn't a mistake? If both twins really are both friends with the b-day boy, I can't imagine how crappy that would be to only invite one twin.

I am not 100% sure but when I replied I said "Larlo will be excited to celebrate" instead of "Larlo and Carlo will be excited" and I just did a 1 yes. So I assume if she meant it to for Carlo and Larlo she will let me know. I happen to know mom. She is friends w other friends and we have seen each other in social settings from time to time so we have emailed before on other topics. The birthday child is a girl and they are only inviting 8 kids to a venue spot and it is a mix of boys and girls invited but all of them are just from birthday girl's class. I think they were just trying to keep things small.

I haven't told the uninvited twin yet but did mention to invited twin about the party. When I told him he was invited his first comment was "And Carlo?" And I said "No, just you." Then he asked "Why not Carlo?" and I explained that she only invited kids from their class. He wanted to know if Carlo could still come and I told him only if Carlo was invited but that if he wasn't then we would do something special with Carlo during the party. I thought it was super sweet that he was concerned about his brother. I am not looking forward to breaking it to Carlo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Are you serious? Twin same sex kids(2 boys) and all the kids know each other especially in 4th grade, what do you want take all the kids to shadowland at 10 am and then all the same kids at 2 pm to have two parties? You are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Are you serious? Twin same sex kids(2 boys) and all the kids know each other especially in 4th grade, what do you want take all the kids to shadowland at 10 am and then all the same kids at 2 pm to have two parties? You are insane.

Twin mom here. I have joint birthday parties for my twins. I invite boys from each twins class and I never expect each guest to bring a gift for each twin, especially if they are not friends with one of the twins.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has several sets of twins (and a triplets). It's difficult sometimes b/c she is better friends with one of the kids than the other. For playdates, we generally have both over and on the occasion where we don't.

Birthday parties is tough. We invite them all even though that means I have to invite 7 kids right off the bat, 3-4 of them whom she is not good friends with (or friends at all in the case of 2 of them). But, I know the moms and they expect them to be together.

This is very different than growing up. I had a small graduating class (close to 50 than 100) and 4 sets of twins. They were never in the same class, they had their own friends, they were not expected to be at the same events/parties. Of course, many times they were but it was not expected.

My own two cents is that parents of multiples should not expect them to be a package deal. I get that they are close but they also have to learn to deal with disappointment and not being together all the time. They can do that and still be best friends. All the twins (esp the girl/girl twins) growing up managed that just fine and remain super close as adults.

[Anonymous]

PP here, I also greatly appreciate when moms of multiples ask questions or are clear as to expectations about bday parties and so on.

For example, the triplets birthday parties involve each child inviting XXX kid and that is who guests bring gifts for. Although I would have brought one for each -it is each child's birthday after all - I appreciated the instructions and how it was handled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Are you serious? Twin same sex kids(2 boys) and all the kids know each other especially in 4th grade, what do you want take all the kids to shadowland at 10 am and then all the same kids at 2 pm to have two parties? You are insane.

So you think your two kids in 4th grade want to share and have the same exact birthday party, have the same exact friends, and those friends like both of your kids equally and must get each of your kids a present for the one party you are throwing for both of them? You are clueless lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Are you serious? Twin same sex kids(2 boys) and all the kids know each other especially in 4th grade, what do you want take all the kids to shadowland at 10 am and then all the same kids at 2 pm to have two parties? You are insane.

Twin mom here. I have joint birthday parties for my twins. I invite boys from each twins class and I never expect each guest to bring a gift for each twin, especially if they are not friends with one of the twins.

But then there are twin moms here (see bolded) stating it is rude to not give gifts for both kids. That 20 kids invited to a twin party should equal 40 gifts on the table. Do you see how having a combination party makes this uncomfortable for people that aren't friends with the other twin? They need to spend $40+ dollars on gifts for one party. And I can tell you from not having twins but inviting them, that moms give a combo gift from "the twins" and don't go to each party with 2 separate presents that each child picked out. So my take-way is that most parents think their twins deserve separate presents but don't give separate gift to other friends. The etiquette is that they are a combo deal when invited to parties but are considered individuals at their own combo party. Irony?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Because when you have twins they want to have combo birthday parties. They have the same friends, are in the same grade at school, often share the same room, etc. I have yet to see any of the 5 sets of twins in our grade have separate bday parties (1st grade.)

Meanwhile, I think the other twin mom above is nutty. Of course some kids are bringing only 1 gift if they are only friends with one of the twins! I think that's perfectly fine, and my kids don't care. Like being invited to something their twin is not, it's part of life and they need to learn to manage it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Are you serious? Twin same sex kids(2 boys) and all the kids know each other especially in 4th grade, what do you want take all the kids to shadowland at 10 am and then all the same kids at 2 pm to have two parties? You are insane.

So you think your two kids in 4th grade want to share and have the same exact birthday party, have the same exact friends, and those friends like both of your kids equally and must get each of your kids a present for the one party you are throwing for both of them? You are clueless lady.

PP-- you clearly don't have twins. Twins WANT to share things. Mine (B/G) play together all day long, have many of the same friends, choose to share a room and are incredibly generous with one another. I have asked them if they want separate parties and they look at me like I have grown a second head.

We have MANY MANY twin family friends- same with all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Are you serious? Twin same sex kids(2 boys) and all the kids know each other especially in 4th grade, what do you want take all the kids to shadowland at 10 am and then all the same kids at 2 pm to have two parties? You are insane.

Twin mom here. I have joint birthday parties for my twins. I invite boys from each twins class and I never expect each guest to bring a gift for each twin, especially if they are not friends with one of the twins.

But then there are twin moms here (see bolded) stating it is rude to not give gifts for both kids. That 20 kids invited to a twin party should equal 40 gifts on the table. Do you see how having a combination party makes this uncomfortable for people that aren't friends with the other twin? They need to spend $40+ dollars on gifts for one party. And I can tell you from not having twins but inviting them, that moms give a combo gift from "the twins" and don't go to each party with 2 separate presents that each child picked out. So my take-way is that most parents think their twins deserve separate presents but don't give separate gift to other friends. The etiquette is that they are a combo deal when invited to parties but are considered individuals at their own combo party. Irony?

Ignore that twin mom. She is wrong and rude. Bring a gift for the kid or kids your child is closest to and considers to be a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Are you serious? Twin same sex kids(2 boys) and all the kids know each other especially in 4th grade, what do you want take all the kids to shadowland at 10 am and then all the same kids at 2 pm to have two parties? You are insane.

So you think your two kids in 4th grade want to share and have the same exact birthday party, have the same exact friends, and those friends like both of your kids equally and must get each of your kids a present for the one party you are throwing for both of them? You are clueless lady.

PP-- you clearly don't have twins. Twins WANT to share things. Mine (B/G) play together all day long, have many of the same friends, choose to share a room and are incredibly generous with one another. I have asked them if they want separate parties and they look at me like I have grown a second head.

We have MANY MANY twin family friends- same with all of them.

Right, and your twins are exactly like every other twin? Identical twin here. I HATED having joint birthdays. I had to share everything my entire childhood and I don't even get to celebrate my birthday on my own. My twin feels exactly the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Are you serious? Twin same sex kids(2 boys) and all the kids know each other especially in 4th grade, what do you want take all the kids to shadowland at 10 am and then all the same kids at 2 pm to have two parties? You are insane.

So you think your two kids in 4th grade want to share and have the same exact birthday party, have the same exact friends, and those friends like both of your kids equally and must get each of your kids a present for the one party you are throwing for both of them? You are clueless lady.

PP-- you clearly don't have twins. Twins WANT to share things. Mine (B/G) play together all day long, have many of the same friends, choose to share a room and are incredibly generous with one another. I have asked them if they want separate parties and they look at me like I have grown a second head.

We have MANY MANY twin family friends- same with all of them.

Right, and your twins are exactly like every other twin? Identical twin here. I HATED having joint birthdays. I had to share everything my entire childhood and I don't even get to celebrate my birthday on my own. My twin feels exactly the same way.

Well, I'm sorry your parents weren't sensitive to your feelings the way they should have been. That stinks.

Random tidbit- I have friends who's twins were born on consecutive days (gave birth at night.) I always thought that would be cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

Are you serious? Twin same sex kids(2 boys) and all the kids know each other especially in 4th grade, what do you want take all the kids to shadowland at 10 am and then all the same kids at 2 pm to have two parties? You are insane.

Twin mom here. I have joint birthday parties for my twins. I invite boys from each twins class and I never expect each guest to bring a gift for each twin, especially if they are not friends with one of the twins.

But then there are twin moms here (see bolded) stating it is rude to not give gifts for both kids. That 20 kids invited to a twin party should equal 40 gifts on the table. Do you see how having a combination party makes this uncomfortable for people that aren't friends with the other twin? They need to spend $40+ dollars on gifts for one party. And I can tell you from not having twins but inviting them, that moms give a combo gift from "the twins" and don't go to each party with 2 separate presents that each child picked out. So my take-way is that most parents think their twins deserve separate presents but don't give separate gift to other friends. The etiquette is that they are a combo deal when invited to parties but are considered individuals at their own combo party. Irony?

+1

[Anonymous]

Why is this thread still going on? Hasn't this damn party taken place yet? For the love of...move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, and your twins are exactly like every other twin? Identical twin here. I HATED having joint birthdays. I had to share everything my entire childhood and I don't even get to celebrate my birthday on my own. My twin feels exactly the same way.

NP and another adult twin here.

My husband has the same birthday as my sister and I...so imagine having to share with yet a third person!