accidentally invited "twin" to party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read all the posts but I am shocked how many people want a child their kid doesn't even know to come to their party because they are too afraid to be direct with the mom. I would not be offended and I doubt she will be either. It isn't like she is uninviting the kid. He was never invited in the first place. It doesn't matter if they are twins. The OP's child does not even know him.

OP, you need to put your big girl panties on and be up front. Otherwise you will be taken advantage of for years to come.

Oh lord. Another poster who doesn't seem to understand how elementary school works. The child most likely DOES know the other kid. We are talking about first graders, not high schoolers. Why go out of the way to exclude the child?

Our school has 7 first grade classes which equals a little over 175 kids. I can assure you my child does not know every child in their grade.

[Anonymous]

Moms who assume siblings are invited are totally rude. However, this was an honest mistake since the invitee wasn't specified. Evite allows you to "name" the invitee. So, it's the parent's email address but the guest would say "Tommy"

[Anonymous]

/\ or "Tommy and Bobby" That's how you make sure the parent knows who's invited.

[Anonymous]

B/G twin mom here. Just got one of these today. Invite from mom of a girl with no name. List of invitees is blocked so can't find out if it's all girls or not. Have had to reach out to other B/G twin mom and then she's talking to someone else to ask who the hell in invited.

PSA! Please put names on invites!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:B/G twin mom here. Just got one of these today. Invite from mom of a girl with no name. List of invitees is blocked so can't find out if it's all girls or not. Have had to reach out to other B/G twin mom and then she's talking to someone else to ask who the hell in invited.

PSA! Please put names on invites!!!!

Why don't you just email the mom that invited you and ask? Perhaps she doesn't know there is a twin. Explain and ask which twin she intended to invite. Why would you go through 2 other people instead of going straight to the source?

[Anonymous]

NP here- just wanted to say that this was incredibly helpful thread for me. I am a mom of K identical twins. Got an evite tonight for a b-day party and one twin's name was on it. Classmate knows both boys (smaller school and only identical twins up to grade 3 so are known for that). Glad for the tips on how to handle b/c this will be the 1st time only one twin was invited. I know uninvited twin will be upset (particularly b/c all his best friends are invited) but this will give us a good opportunity to start a tradition of doing something special one-on-one with him which we never get to do (there is also an older sib in the picture).

I'm grateful that they specified a name but would have emailed mom asking for clarification if they hadn't.

[Anonymous]

I am reminded now that at 6/7 you pretty much just play with whoever anyway


Seriously, who are these 6/7 year olds who are just playing with whoever? In our school, there are already groups of friends.


Yes our DC has friends but will still play with whoever is around. Most of DC's friends are the same way. Sent DC to spring break camp. Didn't know a soul the first day. Was besties with everyone but the end of the day. I think it is more rare at this age to be so clique-ish.

I don't think it is necessarily "cliquish." My almost 7 year old is friendly and open to meeting new people, but won't play with "whoever is around." He is passive and not super sporty, and likes ti play with other boys who are the same and are more into minecraft, legos etc. He's a nice kid, but has his own personality and interests, and isn't going to enjoy spending time with every other kid, which is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am reminded now that at 6/7 you pretty much just play with whoever anyway


Seriously, who are these 6/7 year olds who are just playing with whoever? In our school, there are already groups of friends.


Yes our DC has friends but will still play with whoever is around. Most of DC's friends are the same way. Sent DC to spring break camp. Didn't know a soul the first day. Was besties with everyone but the end of the day. I think it is more rare at this age to be so clique-ish.

I don't think it is necessarily "cliquish." My almost 7 year old is friendly and open to meeting new people, but won't play with "whoever is around." He is passive and not super sporty, and likes ti play with other boys who are the same and are more into minecraft, legos etc. He's a nice kid, but has his own personality and interests, and isn't going to enjoy spending time with every other kid, which is fine.

Going to a camp and meeting new people is nothing similar to being forced to have kids at your party you don't even know - all because of one clueless mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B/G twin mom here. Just got one of these today. Invite from mom of a girl with no name. List of invitees is blocked so can't find out if it's all girls or not. Have had to reach out to other B/G twin mom and then she's talking to someone else to ask who the hell in invited.

PSA! Please put names on invites!!!!

Why don't you just email the mom that invited you and ask? Perhaps she doesn't know there is a twin. Explain and ask which twin she intended to invite. Why would you go through 2 other people instead of going straight to the source?

I know she knows- asked other mom twin because she is closer friends with the mom who will probably feel more comfortable saying "just for the girls" to her, rather than to me, if that's the case.

This is the other thing - Asking the mom if the other twin is invited usually makes the host mom feel awkward and extend the invite- even if she just mean to invite one kid. I hate putting parents in that spot and I HONESTLY don't want to send both kids when they really only want one-- I just want to know!!!

The whole thing is crazy-making.

[Anonymous]

Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read all the posts but I am shocked how many people want a child their kid doesn't even know to come to their party because they are too afraid to be direct with the mom. I would not be offended and I doubt she will be either. It isn't like she is uninviting the kid. He was never invited in the first place. It doesn't matter if they are twins. The OP's child does not even know him.

OP, you need to put your big girl panties on and be up front. Otherwise you will be taken advantage of for years to come.

Oh lord. Another poster who doesn't seem to understand how elementary school works. The child most likely DOES know the other kid. We are talking about first graders, not high schoolers. Why go out of the way to exclude the child?

Our school has 7 first grade classes which equals a little over 175 kids. I can assure you my child does not know every child in their grade.

Twins are a topic kids talk about. I bet even with 175 kids they all know who the twins are in their grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

I just thought of this with my twins' party that is coming up. Each kid is inviting 5 kids, but both of my kids' names are on the invite. People certainly don't have to bring gifts for both kids. I just ordered the invites, but was thinking how I should have done separate invites for each of my kids. Next year.

- mom of nearly 11y old twins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another situation these "party guest limiters" pull comes at the twins birthday. My twins are now in middle school, but I recall many times when opening the gifts some parent would only give a gift to one of the twins. Yes, they invite 20 kids and tons of gifts enter our home, but when i have them open the gifts together so i can write a list of the gifts and 18 give to both (invitation says both kids names are having the party) and one kids gets 2 more gifts than the other because some parent chooses to only give one kid a gift with the one kids name on the gift/card those parents are truly crappy!!!! And twin moms never forget.

Why are you have combo birthday parties for your kids? Ewww, I would hate that. You want to save money by combining the party but you want to make sure all the other parents not only buy two gifts for one party but also invite both of your kids to all of their parties. Twin moms annoy me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here- just wanted to say that this was incredibly helpful thread for me. I am a mom of K identical twins. Got an evite tonight for a b-day party and one twin's name was on it. Classmate knows both boys (smaller school and only identical twins up to grade 3 so are known for that). Glad for the tips on how to handle b/c this will be the 1st time only one twin was invited. I know uninvited twin will be upset (particularly b/c all his best friends are invited) but this will give us a good opportunity to start a tradition of doing something special one-on-one with him which we never get to do (there is also an older sib in the picture).

I'm grateful that they specified a name but would have emailed mom asking for clarification if they hadn't.

I hate to fuel the fire, but are you sure this wasn't a mistake? If both twins really are both friends with the b-day boy, I can't imagine how crappy that would be to only invite one twin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, my instinct was to just let it go. but I wanted to double check it. twin was in quotes b/c I haven't had coffee yet! we live in a small town house so 1 extra person does make a difference. we won't have enough seats for everyone etc and I thought it might be weird to have a kid at the party who doesn't know the other kids....but I am reminded now that at 6/7 you pretty much just play with whoever anyway. so hopefully it will all work out.
this is our first twin friend so we don't have experience with it--are twins just treated as a package deal until an older age? if you invite one, you invite both etc?

Please keep responding. If you did, we could have an epic DCUM thread. You are funny!

I totally agree with you, how weird to have a child at a party that won't know anybody else. Especially his own twin! Bwahahaha!