accidentally invited "twin" to party

[Anonymous]

The twin wasn't invited but you feel like they still need to come even though your son doesn't even know him? It is his party. Just tell the mom it was for the one child. The mom has to realize they aren't in the same class and not friends. It was wrong to assume it was for both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.

I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events.

You sound very hospitable.

Jeez, no kidding.

Yes, it's great for the kids to have their own friends, but we're talking 6 yr olds! I can tell you that my 4 yr old twins are already dealing with "one only" invitations to b'day parties and it can be hard. Of course I don't assume both are invited, but I sure appreciate the parents who do invite both. And I really hate watching one of them in tears because they can't go to a party because they weren't asked. (And this happens in a preschool class with a total of 14 kids - so not multiple classrooms, or a large crowd, or anyone who doesn't know there are twins.)

Oh my fucking God lady. Get a grip. Your kids are not attached to the hip. They are two separate kids with two different personalities. They aren't a packaged deal. Stop treating them like that.

Twin mom here: It is people like PP above that you most want to avoid. They don't have twins; they dont understand the dynamic, but they sure want to raise yours for you in the most hostile way. Fortunately, you know that neither of your twins needs a mom/ friend like this. The moms I have seen like this are the ones who have their child glued to their hip.

THANK YOU!

I totally agree.

Yes my twins are individuals, and yes (to the other pp) they get "time in" when one doesn't get to go to the party. And they're freaking human - they are old enough to know they're missing a fun event with most of their friends.

Friggin' DCUM...

The OP stated her son isn't friends with the other twin. So he is obviously not friends with this kid but now is going to the party to someone who he doesn't even know. That is bizarre. And close-in-age siblings are aware that their other siblings go to a party. Should we have to invite them too? Your kids aren't magical because they are twins. They are just the same age. It doesn't mean they are friends with the same people nor should they have to be invited to the same party. I can not stand people like you that think your kids are special. They aren't.

Stop making this all about you! And OP, you know it would be shitty to "uninvite" the second child, so don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A whole lot going on in that post that sounds like it has very little to do with what the previous PP said. What's with the crazy resentment, PP?

I know, right? Raging anger at something. I feel badly for her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, my instinct was to just let it go. but I wanted to double check it. twin was in quotes b/c I haven't had coffee yet! we live in a small town house so 1 extra person does make a difference. we won't have enough seats for everyone etc and I thought it might be weird to have a kid at the party who doesn't know the other kids....but I am reminded now that at 6/7 you pretty much just play with whoever anyway. so hopefully it will all work out.
this is our first twin friend so we don't have experience with it--are twins just treated as a package deal until an older age? if you invite one, you invite both etc?[/quote

1 extra kid doesn't make a difference. Go buy a folding chair. Bring in a stool from another room. Use a patio chair. Really?? You invited the number of kids that would match the number of chairs you have around the dining room table?

[Anonymous]

I am reminded now that at 6/7 you pretty much just play with whoever anyway

Seriously, who are these 6/7 year olds who are just playing with whoever? In our school, there are already groups of friends.

[Anonymous]

Haven't read all the posts but I am shocked how many people want a child their kid doesn't even know to come to their party because they are too afraid to be direct with the mom. I would not be offended and I doubt she will be either. It isn't like she is uninviting the kid. He was never invited in the first place. It doesn't matter if they are twins. The OP's child does not even know him.

OP, you need to put your big girl panties on and be up front. Otherwise you will be taken advantage of for years to come.

[Anonymous]

Suck it up, be nice to the extra kid. It's no skin off your nose, and if you disinvite you'll insult the other parent and possibly hurt the kid.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry about offending the parent but I wouldn't be able to sleep if I hurt a kid even a little because I was so uptight that I couldn't handle 1 extra kid and worried it would screw up my own DC's perfect party. You are really slime, OP, if you have to even think about this. Maybe the mom was wrong to assume? Maybe it was a genuine misunderstanding? Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am reminded now that at 6/7 you pretty much just play with whoever anyway

Seriously, who are these 6/7 year olds who are just playing with whoever? In our school, there are already groups of friends.

Yes our DC has friends but will still play with whoever is around. Most of DC's friends are the same way. Sent DC to spring break camp. Didn't know a soul the first day. Was besties with everyone but the end of the day. I think it is more rare at this age to be so clique-ish.

[Anonymous]

This is why my husband and I rented a room at the community center, or a shelter in the park, and just invited our kids' entire elementary class to their parties. It doesn't need to be an expensive event, and that way you can avoid leaving out classmates, or classmates friends or siblings, or the disabled child who doesn't usually get invited to parties, but whose parents are incredibly grateful when they are. A little kindness goes a long way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am reminded now that at 6/7 you pretty much just play with whoever anyway

Seriously, who are these 6/7 year olds who are just playing with whoever? In our school, there are already groups of friends.

They aren't mutually exclusive. My 6 year old has her closest friends at school, but the entire class gets along and plays well togetheR. Even outside of school, if we go to a playground, she will usually end up befriending any child her age there - if they don't come to her first, which they often do, so it seems pretty typical of that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am reminded now that at 6/7 you pretty much just play with whoever anyway

Seriously, who are these 6/7 year olds who are just playing with whoever? In our school, there are already groups of friends.

Yes our DC has friends but will still play with whoever is around. Most of DC's friends are the same way. Sent DC to spring break camp. Didn't know a soul the first day. Was besties with everyone but the end of the day. I think it is more rare at this age to be so clique-ish.

Yup, this exactly. I will be sad when it ends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read all the posts but I am shocked how many people want a child their kid doesn't even know to come to their party because they are too afraid to be direct with the mom. I would not be offended and I doubt she will be either. It isn't like she is uninviting the kid. He was never invited in the first place. It doesn't matter if they are twins. The OP's child does not even know him.

OP, you need to put your big girl panties on and be up front. Otherwise you will be taken advantage of for years to come.

Oh lord. Another poster who doesn't seem to understand how elementary school works. The child most likely DOES know the other kid. We are talking about first graders, not high schoolers. Why go out of the way to exclude the child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't worry about offending the parent but I wouldn't be able to sleep if I hurt a kid even a little because I was so uptight that I couldn't handle 1 extra kid and worried it would screw up my own DC's perfect party. You are really slime, OP, if you have to even think about this. Maybe the mom was wrong to assume? Maybe it was a genuine misunderstanding? Who cares?

She is slime? Wow. Why not just invite the entire first grade. Would that make it better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why my husband and I rented a room at the community center, or a shelter in the park, and just invited our kids' entire elementary class to their parties. It doesn't need to be an expensive event, and that way you can avoid leaving out classmates, or classmates friends or siblings, or the disabled child who doesn't usually get invited to parties, but whose parents are incredibly grateful when they are. A little kindness goes a long way.

How PC of you.