| let it go. |
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I am surprised the Mom of the twins did not question the evite since her boys are in different classes. Over the years I have done so very politely and been fine with all answers. Twins are going to have to learn at some point that they don't always get invited etc to the same things. It can be difficult but that's life.
Mom of 8 year old twins |
| Good God, OP! |
Adult twin here. I too am surprised that the twin mom didn't question the invitees. I can see how a parent wouldn't have known about twins; I've had it happen to me twice (not in a party invite situation though). Once in kindergarten, I had no idea a child in my daughter's class was a twin until we were at a party and I saw the twin there. And this year, in 2nd grade, she mentioned that so-and-so in her class this year is such-and-such's twin from her class last year. But we are in a 4 class per grade school, so I'm sure that makes a difference... |
For the record, this is not MARYLAND behavior -- it's dc/ dc suburb behavior. I was just on Kent Island where the people are completely normal. So refreshing. |
| It's one extra child, and the party is at your house. This is a birthday party for a first grader, not a wedding reception. |
Her son doesn't even know the other twin! They are in separate classes. It is a house party. Sorry but I would have responded that I didn't realize ___ had a twin. I am not sure if they know each other but if he would like to come that is fine. Honestly, the mom knows your son doesn't know him. She is trying to drop off both kids. |
plus 1 |
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Are they siamese twins? If not, inviting one does not mean inviting the other. The Mom should know this.
I would hold firm OP. There is no need to have a strange kid there so the mom can get 1-2hrs of free time. It is actually good for the kids to split up and make their own sets of friends and events. |
You sound very hospitable. |
Glad its not state wide. I can tell you its 100% Bethesda behavior. Unfortunately. |
This. I guess I took it for granted how welcoming and friendly our school is. My DD is in 1st grade and it wouldn't even be a question that the twin was invited to a house birthday party. Wow. I didn't know people were like this with 6 year olds! I guess I should be thankful to live in such a nice community. |
I agree that OP needs to accommodate the twin at this point, and that to do anything else would be ungracious. But I don't think that it is reasonable at all to assume that both twins were invited in the first instance if the birthday child is only friends with one of them when the kids are in 1st grade. And I don't think it is necessarily unwelcoming to invite only one twin if that is the only child that OP's child is friends with. At some point, a birthday party is about celebrating with your friends. My 1st grade son is friends with one boy who is a fraternal twin. The other twin is more outgoing and mature than either DS or his twin brother, and while he has never been mean to DS, he has never shown the least bit of interest in befriending DS or playing with him. I can't imagine why I would be obligated to invite him to DS's birthday party. |
| OP, it's ONE extra child. I would just invite the kid for heaven's sake. Next time you will know to be more specific. Chalk this up to a learning experience. Plus, maybe your child will become friends with the twin at some point anyway. |
Funny, I think the Mom is selfish and rude to assume both her kids were invited. I hate parents who treat their multiples as one. |