really stupid RSVP question

[Anonymous]

Op, don't responded and stay home for everyone's sake. Ask your spouse to take over social engagements in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I very rarely call troll, but I think this has to be a troll.

Has to be. The OP's insisting responses back can't be real.

I agree. These are not the responses of someone with "AS", unless he/she meant anti-social and not autisim/aspergers

I have no experience with AS other than Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and Max from Parenthood. I can imagine them both arguing just like OP. Both would eventually give in and call, and would finish by making a (what we'd consider) snarky comment about forcing the phone call to the host.

OP, just say word for word what an early poster commented.

As a parent, OP, you're going to be put in a lot of socially awkward positions over the years. You'd better learn to fake it, otherwise your child is in for a hell of a social life. If you love your child and want them to have friends and a normal life, suck it up, buttercup. Put their needs first.

DC's needs always come first. This isn't a need, and I don't do socially awkward well.

Oh, I'd say you're a natural at it.

Yep, and comments like this are why I'm not playing any of these daycare social games. You'd probably say this to my face, which is cruel and evil.

OP you are being ridiculous. I'm a complete introvert and usually I can get away with emailing for RSVP, but often I can't, and I have to call. However if you volunteer to be a room parent (if you preschool offers it) you will most likely get the email addresses for everyone in the room, allowing you to always email the RSVP. But you are then on the hook for interacting with the parents far more often, organizing parties, etc. Easier just to make one awkward phone call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not being purposefully dense. I'm just now wondering why I owe another mother anything when she'll probably just treat me like everyone here has. I haven't socialized in years, and this is why.

OP All the mom did was give your child an invitation! That's it. If you can't come that is completely fine, there will be no love lost between her and you. As you said, you haven't been introduced. Simply call and use one of the MANY scripts to let her know you won't be coming. Right now you are the rude one for not RSVP'ing. You are blowing this WAY out of proportion... Yes, this is difficult for you, but seriously, woman up and make 1 incredibly short phone call.

Fine, you want me to admit I have crippling social anxiety? Fine. I haven't made friends since college. I work from home and never talk to anyone. I have certain scripts that I use for frequent interactions, but even with a script, new things terrify me. I absolutely cannot call someone who doesn't realize she has even invited me, and I absolutely cannot walk DC through social interactions when women are so hateful and not understanding.

[Anonymous]

LET YOUR HUSBAND MAKE THE CALL, FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very odd OP. I'm going to call "troll" on this. Just too weird. It's a rare day when DCUM agrees on something and she refuses to listen to good advice.

I am listening, but it's something I just can't do, especially after being called troll and stupid and whatever else. I haven't socialized with women in years, they terrify me, and this is why. For all I know, she'll treat me the same way.

People were very kind and supportive until you started chiming in with argumentative, odd, and rude responses. I believe this kicked it off on p. 2:

"No, I don't think I will, sorry. I don't call people for social reasons if they don't know me.

I'm pretty sure it's a gift grab though, so I don't feel too badly."

Take some responsibility. You're playing the victim.

You don't know crippling fear. Good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, don't responded and stay home for everyone's sake. Ask your spouse to take over social engagements in the future.

I know. I don't deserve friends, or even people to be kind to me. Why do you think I've been hiding away for years?

[Anonymous]

Do you want your child to be the weirdo for the whole of his school years? Honest question? If not, then you are going to have to sack up and fake it though these kinds of situations. It's only going to get tougher from here.

[Anonymous]

OP All the mom did was give your child an invitation! That's it. If you can't come that is completely fine, there will be no love lost between her and you. As you said, you haven't been introduced. Simply call and use one of the MANY scripts to let her know you won't be coming. Right now you are the rude one for not RSVP'ing. You are blowing this WAY out of proportion... Yes, this is difficult for you, but seriously, woman up and make 1 incredibly short phone call.

Fine, you want me to admit I have crippling social anxiety? Fine. I haven't made friends since college. I work from home and never talk to anyone. I have certain scripts that I use for frequent interactions, but even with a script, new things terrify me. I absolutely cannot call someone who doesn't realize she has even invited me, and I absolutely cannot walk DC through social interactions when women are so hateful and not understanding.

Well, it sounds like you have made your mind up, which is fine, so you do not need any more advice here. It seems unanimous that you are making a mistake, but it is your life to live, so go with the choice you've made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not being purposefully dense. I'm just now wondering why I owe another mother anything when she'll probably just treat me like everyone here has. I haven't socialized in years, and this is why.

OP All the mom did was give your child an invitation! That's it. If you can't come that is completely fine, there will be no love lost between her and you. As you said, you haven't been introduced. Simply call and use one of the MANY scripts to let her know you won't be coming. Right now you are the rude one for not RSVP'ing. You are blowing this WAY out of proportion... Yes, this is difficult for you, but seriously, woman up and make 1 incredibly short phone call.

Fine, you want me to admit I have crippling social anxiety? Fine. I haven't made friends since college. I work from home and never talk to anyone. I have certain scripts that I use for frequent interactions, but even with a script, new things terrify me. I absolutely cannot call someone who doesn't realize she has even invited me, and I absolutely cannot walk DC through social interactions when women are so hateful and not understanding.

How on earth did you fine someone to marry you? In any case, he apparently exists so let him make the call or text. There is no law that says this is the mother's duty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not being purposefully dense. I'm just now wondering why I owe another mother anything when she'll probably just treat me like everyone here has. I haven't socialized in years, and this is why.

OP All the mom did was give your child an invitation! That's it. If you can't come that is completely fine, there will be no love lost between her and you. As you said, you haven't been introduced. Simply call and use one of the MANY scripts to let her know you won't be coming. Right now you are the rude one for not RSVP'ing. You are blowing this WAY out of proportion... Yes, this is difficult for you, but seriously, woman up and make 1 incredibly short phone call.

Fine, you want me to admit I have crippling social anxiety? Fine. I haven't made friends since college. I work from home and never talk to anyone. I have certain scripts that I use for frequent interactions, but even with a script, new things terrify me. I absolutely cannot call someone who doesn't realize she has even invited me, and I absolutely cannot walk DC through social interactions when women are so hateful and not understanding.

How on earth did you fine someone to marry you? In any case, he apparently exists so let him make the call or text. There is no law that says this is the mother's duty.

I wasn't like this before I got married, but he doesn't do things like this. No reason why, he just won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not being purposefully dense. I'm just now wondering why I owe another mother anything when she'll probably just treat me like everyone here has. I haven't socialized in years, and this is why.

OP All the mom did was give your child an invitation! That's it. If you can't come that is completely fine, there will be no love lost between her and you. As you said, you haven't been introduced. Simply call and use one of the MANY scripts to let her know you won't be coming. Right now you are the rude one for not RSVP'ing. You are blowing this WAY out of proportion... Yes, this is difficult for you, but seriously, woman up and make 1 incredibly short phone call.

Fine, you want me to admit I have crippling social anxiety? Fine. I haven't made friends since college. I work from home and never talk to anyone. I have certain scripts that I use for frequent interactions, but even with a script, new things terrify me. I absolutely cannot call someone who doesn't realize she has even invited me, and I absolutely cannot walk DC through social interactions when women are so hateful and not understanding.

Why did you become a parent? It doesn't sound like you'll ever meet anyone because of your social anxiety and it doesn't sound like you're willing to get help. Hiding a child away and not interacting with the world can be very damaging to a child emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Just text the # that you can't go! The other mom has no idea that you have crippling anxiety, and you really need to get that under control for the sake of your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not being purposefully dense. I'm just now wondering why I owe another mother anything when she'll probably just treat me like everyone here has. I haven't socialized in years, and this is why.

OP All the mom did was give your child an invitation! That's it. If you can't come that is completely fine, there will be no love lost between her and you. As you said, you haven't been introduced. Simply call and use one of the MANY scripts to let her know you won't be coming. Right now you are the rude one for not RSVP'ing. You are blowing this WAY out of proportion... Yes, this is difficult for you, but seriously, woman up and make 1 incredibly short phone call.

Fine, you want me to admit I have crippling social anxiety? Fine. I haven't made friends since college. I work from home and never talk to anyone. I have certain scripts that I use for frequent interactions, but even with a script, new things terrify me. I absolutely cannot call someone who doesn't realize she has even invited me, and I absolutely cannot walk DC through social interactions when women are so hateful and not understanding.

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE DIDN'T INVITE YOUR CHILD???

Our school gives us a list of every child in DD's room. If a child leaves or a new one comes we get an update. The kids have cubbies with the children's names on them. If your child is 2 or older they most likely talk about the children in their room. This mother knows she invited you! She invited the entire room! Great you just joined, we had a child just join DD's room 3 weeks ago and yes, I invited her to DD's party in 3 weeks. I don't want to single out ANY child ever so I will always invite everyone in DD's room. She did the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not being purposefully dense. I'm just now wondering why I owe another mother anything when she'll probably just treat me like everyone here has. I haven't socialized in years, and this is why.

OP All the mom did was give your child an invitation! That's it. If you can't come that is completely fine, there will be no love lost between her and you. As you said, you haven't been introduced. Simply call and use one of the MANY scripts to let her know you won't be coming. Right now you are the rude one for not RSVP'ing. You are blowing this WAY out of proportion... Yes, this is difficult for you, but seriously, woman up and make 1 incredibly short phone call.

Fine, you want me to admit I have crippling social anxiety? Fine. I haven't made friends since college. I work from home and never talk to anyone. I have certain scripts that I use for frequent interactions, but even with a script, new things terrify me. I absolutely cannot call someone who doesn't realize she has even invited me, and I absolutely cannot walk DC through social interactions when women are so hateful and not understanding.

You need to help yourself through this now while your kid is still young. Please go see a counselor, psychologist, talk to your GP. Do something. This is not OK and you will hurt your child if this is the way you act, or avoid acting, throughout his life. Please get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not being purposefully dense. I'm just now wondering why I owe another mother anything when she'll probably just treat me like everyone here has. I haven't socialized in years, and this is why.

OP All the mom did was give your child an invitation! That's it. If you can't come that is completely fine, there will be no love lost between her and you. As you said, you haven't been introduced. Simply call and use one of the MANY scripts to let her know you won't be coming. Right now you are the rude one for not RSVP'ing. You are blowing this WAY out of proportion... Yes, this is difficult for you, but seriously, woman up and make 1 incredibly short phone call.

Fine, you want me to admit I have crippling social anxiety? Fine. I haven't made friends since college. I work from home and never talk to anyone. I have certain scripts that I use for frequent interactions, but even with a script, new things terrify me. I absolutely cannot call someone who doesn't realize she has even invited me, and I absolutely cannot walk DC through social interactions when women are so hateful and not understanding.

Why did you become a parent? It doesn't sound like you'll ever meet anyone because of your social anxiety and it doesn't sound like you're willing to get help. Hiding a child away and not interacting with the world can be very damaging to a child emotionally.

Because DH wanted one, and I'm not hiding her away, she's in full time daycare.