I was an AP and now I'm a wife, AMA

[Anonymous]

Karma is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any bets on how soon he/she will cheat on you?

He won't cheat on me. He was very unhappy with his first wife and very happy with me.

ah, the triumph of hope over experience...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the OW is worse than the cheater. He is WAY worse. But she's a jerk too. And she is getting ragged on because instead of just being like "I wasn't married so it didn't matter to me" she is making herself out to be some angel and the ex to be a bitch who deserved it. In her words, it is all the wife's fault and she and the husband are blameless. That's why she is getting harped on. In general the OW is not as bad as the husband.

In which post did I make myself out to be an angel?

Also the husband is not the one who started this thread.

If he were to come here seeking attention with an AMA I'm sure he'd get properly dragged as well.

[Anonymous]

Do you support Trump?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you support Trump?

She sounds more like a Bernie supporter. What's yours is hers!

[Anonymous]

Was he your neighbor? Do you think he is your soul mate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is the ex-wife taking it? I mean, do you care at all? What did this do to her life, and her kid's life? Not what he tells you, what you see for yourself.

She's moved on and dating. Their daughter is fine, she spends the weekends with us and she loves that she has two homes.

You are wicked evil OP. Here's wishing you a lifetime of infertility.

Yeah. I've never, ever met a kid who's happy they have two homes. I have, however, heard several kids of divorce envying their friends who have only one.

What a awful thing to even say! So you just think everyone who ends up divorced its because they were having an affair? You do realize there are many other reasons for divorce, including abuse. I am pretty certain that a child that was living in a home that was surrounded by a toxic marriage, would agree that it is best to have two separate homes. Don't be such a judgmental asshole, there are plenty of times having two homes is better than one. Good for you that your ONE home is perfect.

I don't know why this is so awful. It doesn't matter what caused the divorce or how well the parents coparent. I have NEVER met a child happy to have two homes. Ever. Why would they be happy to have two when one is horrible? Why would they even be happy to be shuttled back and forth between two happy ones?

[Anonymous]

I'm divorced and it's really delusional to think any kid even in the best of situations wants two homes. Every kid fantasizes that their parents would be back together. Period. so selfish to even say, but divorced people talk like that all the time. It was a mistake. Own it. Life isn't perfect for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the OW is worse than the cheater. He is WAY worse. But she's a jerk too. And she is getting ragged on because instead of just being like "I wasn't married so it didn't matter to me" she is making herself out to be some angel and the ex to be a bitch who deserved it. In her words, it is all the wife's fault and she and the husband are blameless. That's why she is getting harped on. In general the OW is not as bad as the husband.

In which post did I make myself out to be an angel?

She is worse that he is because she posted this thread gloating and tearing down the ex wife. She's got to have some kind of personality disorder. And no kid ever said "I love having two home" and I say that as a divorced parent who would love to believe that the divorce didn't have a negative impact on my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you support Trump?

I'm sure she lives Rubio, he's so dreamy, and surely he could get an annulment.

[Anonymous]

A kid glad they have two homes because their dad beat their mom is totally different than a kid glad their dad cheated and married the AP.

Also, most kids in abuse situations don't have two homes. If the mom actually leaves, dad doesn't see them at all.

[Anonymous]

OP here's the deal: many people tell the next wife, husband, or lover that the last wife, husband, or lover was damaged, crazy, impossible, or pressured them into marriage.

Insecure people fear that if they told the truth-- I'm a grown-ass person who fell in love with and married someone and it didn't work out because I'm human and fucked up -- then they won't get another chance at love.

Your husband sold you that and you believed it as a woman of questionable judgment in your 20s. Sleeping with a married man takes low self esteem and that's the kind of personality that will buy "he cheated because she sucks and I'm special" from a man who is at that very moment breaking a promise to someone else.

Maybe he won't cheat- or maybe you won't catch him and he won't leave because there's only so much child support one man can pay-- but nobody wants the secret to your success. I pity your stupidity and lack of judgment. I pity your husband's children and relatives for having to put up with the likes of you two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A kid glad they have two homes because their dad beat their mom is totally different than a kid glad their dad cheated and married the AP.

Also, most kids in abuse situations don't have two homes. If the mom actually leaves, dad doesn't see them at all.

or the kid goes into foster care and gets several homes! Are they the happiest??

[Anonymous]

NP here. What if there were no children involved with the first marriage? Would anyone feel differently?

[Anonymous]

I am a child of divorce (no cheating, just didn't work out) and the two homes thing was cool. I had two rooms that I got to decorate as I liked, friends at both places and so on. It was not earthshattering or whatever as people here state.

Also, I think it's effed up to gloat that you played a role in breaking up a marriage, but all the outrage and vitriol here is a bit much. It's not your marriage, your kid(s), your life, so dial it down people.

Finally my question to the OP: What has your husband learned from the experience that would make him a better husband to you?