How to start affair with married man who's sending me mixed signals

[Anonymous]

Are you Danni from the Kane Show?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Lol! I'm on a warpath against two people in my office having an affair. Lots of history, but their office affair impacted our work envoronmwnt negatively. I've now lit a perverbial match and I'm burning it all down. I just successful waged a campaign and got the guy fired last Wednesday. For the female, I'm going to her husband and going to blow it all up in her face and pull the covers off her little charade.

They crossed me and now they will be outed. The off was already vastly improved yesterday.

You sound like a psycho.

Wow. +1

+2! As a person who's watched an office break down into feuds in such a situation, please crazy PP, stop! You're making it worse for all your coworkers.
At Christmas, for Gawd's sake. WWJD?

Nope, everybody is so happy that the main guy is gone. A complete cloud of misery has been lifted and the dynamic has changed. Their little affair has caused so many problems. Nobody has any idea that I'm the one that blew the lid off, but I can tell you everyone is happy that the guy is gone.

I give zero fucks that it is Christmas, maybe they should not have engaged in an office affair in the first place and he would still be employed and she would not be facing her worst nightmare after the evidence I'm about to drop on her husband.

Hey, you want to make these kind of choices in life? Deal with the consequences. If you are going to have an affair in the office, be smart and keep is quiet. There is a reason why most companies have policies against a supervisor having sexual relations with a subordinate. Break the rules, pay the price.

I get the whole work consequences thing for the guy, especially if it was affecting people at the office. But you contacting the husband of your co-worker seems a little...nutjobby? And though I assume you're planning to do it anonymously, I think it could come back to bite you in the ass later, in terms of your employment.

She's a total loser. Thr ONLY reason she even got to her position was fucking the boss, so she's of no concequence to my employment. Of course this will be anon. Everybody hates here, there's a list a mile long of people who would out here.

Hey, just a word of caution...behave professionally and treat people with decency and people won't be compelled to become merchants of karma. And most importantly keep your vile behavior under wraps and don't give people ammo to mow you down.

I hate cheating and cheaters, especially since I was cheated on by my husband, but you need to find something else to do.

I have plenty to do.

This takes takes all, but 5 minuets (well took all, but 5). Hardly a hardship.

Maybe you wanted to stay in thr dark, but this guy might appreciate knowing what his wife has been up to on her "business trips" and late nights "working".

[Anonymous]

I know that you are stubborn as well as strong-willed, so no...I won't judge you or try to change your mind. Where there is a will, there is a way I am sure.

He sounds like he is attracted to you as well OP. However as a man, he needs to tread carefully here since if he did come on to you, then found out he was wrong about his intuition that you felt the same, his whole career/reputation could be lost. And who wants to pay such a hefty price??

I think the only way you can find out if he feels the same way is to directly ASK him. There's no other way, trust me. You can use hypothetical words such as..."Imagine if we were an item...", then pause & see how he reacts to that.

Does he talk about his family at all? Could he have removed his wedding ring due to some aspect of his job??

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Had an early marriage and early divorce - there are SO MANY MARRIED MEN who love to feel like they 'could' bed someone else and totally get off on the feeling that they have a groupie or someone they feel they could hook up with if they said the word. even if they 'love' their wives and never want to break up their marriages etc. It's an escape for the drudgery of middle age and feeling 'put upon' to be a grown up in a functional life partnership of paying bills, chores, taking care of kids, etc - which is not the dream marriage many or any of us have. It's actually really pathetic and that totally sounds like what he's doing with you. He may do it if you explicitly hit back on him. But do think about how incredibly sucky it would be for your children if it breaks up YOUR marriage. Hell, think about how sucky it would be for YOU if YOUR marriage breaks up - being a divorced 30 something (and this guy is never ever ever going to end up with or marry you even if both of your marriages split) means lots of downward mobility, loneliness, lack of a stable and nurturing environment for your kids etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you Danni from the Kane Show?

LOL!

[Anonymous]

1. If you start this affair, you will have bad Kharma.
2. How would you feel if you husband had an affair on you?
3. Please think about the children involved prior to doing this.
4. Get therapy

[Anonymous]

Your children will HATE you for doing this to their family.


Forever OP.

[Anonymous]

Wondering what happened to this OP. Did the six months go by with nothing happening?

[Anonymous]

Not sure if anyone mentioned this because I didn't read. As a woc isn't it weird that he's always wanted an Asian Girlfriend? That would bother me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if anyone mentioned this because I didn't read. As a woc isn't it weird that he's always wanted an Asian Girlfriend? That would bother me

I agree. Would be creeped out if someone said that to me.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, judgment: you are despicable as you connive and think of ways you can go about destroying your family. Run, don't walk, and put your energy into your marriage.

[Anonymous]

I suggest OP text "I'm a whore and I will gladly have sex with you." to the married man in question. His response should promptly clear up any lingering questions regarding his willingness to have sex outside his marriage. Then send the same text to your spouse and his spouse so that everyone can feel good about your shitty intentions. Next up? Same text to all children involved. Because the shit storm just keeps growing. How about your boss and his boss?

#consequencesforselfishbehavior

[Anonymous]

What are you, twelve?

If you can't speak to someone directly about sex you're not mature enough to have it -- much less mature enough to have an adulterous sexual relationship when you've got a job and kids.

Either ask him whether he wants to have an affair with you or ask your therapist to help you figure out why you're dividing your time between idle chatter with this man and idle speculation about his intentions. Spoiler alert: self sabotage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My marriage. Sometimes a person can cause more pain with their presence than their absence. And I can't get out, for my own reasons.

OM and I own our own businesses, and he taught me a lot in putting systems in place for it to run well and without me. He been a mentor in many ways. And that's why we can spend so much time together.

I will be moving in about 6 months. I want to be with OM for this time.

I feel like he's waiting for ME to make a move. But the reasons above, ie not touching or complimenting, make me unsure.

OP, I think people on here are way too judgemental.

I think you have nothing to you by the next time you are together in person say at lunch or leaving the lunch maybe if you share a car that day simply saying:

" I want you to know how much I appreciate your insights and support with my projects and I have a lot of respect for you professionally" ( validate him, which you can't go wrong doing and it will prime him if he is turned on by you) I am of the Asian girl comment was a test to see if you would respond and you dropped the ball there....

So now, you have to back track and do a bit of ego boost for him and then follow that comment with a very sincere , open and honest:

" I also have something to confess, over the last several months, as we have been working closely together, I have to admit that I feel myself becoming attracted to you... as much as I try to fight it and remain professional ( a little coy doesn't hurt)

" I don't know what to do because I don't want to complicate things, but when I am alone with you like this, I really cant stop fantasing about you..."

He will either dive at you across the car seat and you will have hot sex

OR he will be extremely flattered, feel validated that he is not just smart and valued as a ciolleague, but also desired by a women...so much so that " she can't help confessing"

WIN/WIN for him and YOu

Go For it !

[Anonymous]

sorry, meant to say " I think you have nothing to lose"