How to start affair with married man who's sending me mixed signals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol! I'm on a warpath against two people in my office having an affair. Lots of history, but their office affair impacted our work envoronmwnt negatively. I've now lit a perverbial match and I'm burning it all down. I just successful waged a campaign and got the guy fired last Wednesday. For the female, I'm going to her husband and going to blow it all up in her face and pull the covers off her little charade.

They crossed me and now they will be outed. The off was already vastly improved yesterday.

You sound like a psycho.

Wow. +1

+2! As a person who's watched an office break down into feuds in such a situation, please crazy PP, stop! You're making it worse for all your coworkers.
At Christmas, for Gawd's sake. WWJD?

Nope, everybody is so happy that the main guy is gone. A complete cloud of misery has been lifted and the dynamic has changed. Their little affair has caused so many problems. Nobody has any idea that I'm the one that blew the lid off, but I can tell you everyone is happy that the guy is gone.

I give zero fucks that it is Christmas, maybe they should not have engaged in an office affair in the first place and he would still be employed and she would not be facing her worst nightmare after the evidence I'm about to drop on her husband.

Hey, you want to make these kind of choices in life? Deal with the consequences. If you are going to have an affair in the office, be smart and keep is quiet. There is a reason why most companies have policies against a supervisor having sexual relations with a subordinate. Break the rules, pay the price.

[Anonymous]

Remember there are consequences for your decisions too. Don't be surprised if one or both retaliate

[Anonymous]

Mind your own fucking business pp

[Anonymous]

This is really not so hard. You demonstrate your interest in the other person by doing things that clearly suggest an interest but are plausibly deniable and gradually escalate over time. Light flirting, more physical contact than normal (such as holding a handshake just a smidgen longer than normal, light touching that isn't strictly speaking necessary). If the person reacts poorly, you just stop, and if called on it you claim a misunderstanding and never do anything like that again. If the person seems receptive, you are off to the races.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really not so hard. You demonstrate your interest in the other person by doing things that clearly suggest an interest but are plausibly deniable and gradually escalate over time. Light flirting, more physical contact than normal (such as holding a handshake just a smidgen longer than normal, light touching that isn't strictly speaking necessary). If the person reacts poorly, you just stop, and if called on it you claim a misunderstanding and never do anything like that again. If the person seems receptive, you are off to the races.

Hasn't there been research indicating that men tend to overestimate dramatically the extent to which they are being "signaled" or "hit on"?

[Anonymous]

Why do women do this ???

Women can get guys whenever they want but this one is going to take someone else

[Anonymous]

OP, men who want to sleep with you usually make a move at your slightest interest like saying hi. If you've been having conversations, lunches, coffees, flirting etc and nothing then probably he is not interested in taking it to the next level or maybe has thought about it but decided against it or not sure. You honestly don't want to be a pursuer in an affair situation.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe it's possible that they talk on the phone for hours every day. Who gas that kind of free time? And if op is fudging about that, she's probably either lying or overestimating or misinterpreting other details. Spending lunch looking into each others eyes? Really?

[Anonymous]

I never call troll but I'm going to on this one. And if OP is not a troll, I have a hard time believing people like this exist. How do I start an affair with a married man?

You don't.

You take a cold shower, pull up your big girl underpants, and leave him alone.

If he has integrity like you say he does, he'll freak out if you try to actually start a physical affair and probably give you the cold shoulder. It sounds like he's probably thought of it, maybe even wants it, but decided against it. And the relationship you two have now is as far as it will go. And even that is inappropriate for two people married to other people.

[Anonymous]

It's really easy to start an affair with a married man when you are married, too. Four simple steps:

1. Get divorced.
2. Wait for him to get divorced, too.
3. Ask him if he wants to fool around.
4. Profit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol! I'm on a warpath against two people in my office having an affair. Lots of history, but their office affair impacted our work envoronmwnt negatively. I've now lit a perverbial match and I'm burning it all down. I just successful waged a campaign and got the guy fired last Wednesday. For the female, I'm going to her husband and going to blow it all up in her face and pull the covers off her little charade.

They crossed me and now they will be outed. The off was already vastly improved yesterday.

You sound like a psycho.

Wow. +1

+2! As a person who's watched an office break down into feuds in such a situation, please crazy PP, stop! You're making it worse for all your coworkers.
At Christmas, for Gawd's sake. WWJD?

Nope, everybody is so happy that the main guy is gone. A complete cloud of misery has been lifted and the dynamic has changed. Their little affair has caused so many problems. Nobody has any idea that I'm the one that blew the lid off, but I can tell you everyone is happy that the guy is gone.

I give zero fucks that it is Christmas, maybe they should not have engaged in an office affair in the first place and he would still be employed and she would not be facing her worst nightmare after the evidence I'm about to drop on her husband.

Hey, you want to make these kind of choices in life? Deal with the consequences. If you are going to have an affair in the office, be smart and keep is quiet. There is a reason why most companies have policies against a supervisor having sexual relations with a subordinate. Break the rules, pay the price.

I get the whole work consequences thing for the guy, especially if it was affecting people at the office. But you contacting the husband of your co-worker seems a little...nutjobby? And though I assume you're planning to do it anonymously, I think it could come back to bite you in the ass later, in terms of your employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My marriage. Sometimes a person can cause more pain with their presence than their absence. And I can't get out, for my own reasons.

OM and I own our own businesses, and he taught me a lot in putting systems in place for it to run well and without me. He been a mentor in many ways. And that's why we can spend so much time together.

I will be moving in about 6 months. I want to be with OM for this time.

I feel like he's waiting for ME to make a move. But the reasons above, ie not touching or complimenting, make me unsure.

If you genuinely cared about this guy, you wouldn't want to blow up his whole life so you can have a fling for a few months before you move away.

[Anonymous]

OP makes me feel sick to my stomach. Not because I'm somebody's spouse, although she's pretty terrible for that reason. But, because I'm the child of someone who had an affair and blew up his marriage. Stepmom, stepdad, years of custody disputes and an incredible amount of family ugliness. DH once told me that he could never have an affair because he looks at my family and can still see damage being done to my sister and I, 30 years later, with arguments over our weddings, and now who will get to see the grandchildren on Christmas Day. OP- I would hope you love your kid's enough that (1) you would never want them to discover that you behave this way and (2) you don't want to completely fuck up their lives, for the rest of their lives.

Once you have kids, it's time to stop acting like a lovesick teenager, and put their needs first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol! I'm on a warpath against two people in my office having an affair. Lots of history, but their office affair impacted our work envoronmwnt negatively. I've now lit a perverbial match and I'm burning it all down. I just successful waged a campaign and got the guy fired last Wednesday. For the female, I'm going to her husband and going to blow it all up in her face and pull the covers off her little charade.

They crossed me and now they will be outed. The off was already vastly improved yesterday.

You sound like a psycho.

Wow. +1

+2! As a person who's watched an office break down into feuds in such a situation, please crazy PP, stop! You're making it worse for all your coworkers.
At Christmas, for Gawd's sake. WWJD?

All of you who are upset are clearly involved in affairs.

I may not go to the extent pp would, but I have witnessed coworkers getting screwed over so APs could protect each other . If you want to mess around go ahead, but don't expect everyone else to cover for you especially when you have no problem throwing others under the bus.

+2 here: I'm not having an affair, I'm just an unfortunate coworker who had to work around employees during affairs and breakups. Yes, part of me wished they'd all get fired so I could do my work in peace, but another part just wished I didn't know at all, could do my work in peace and complete ignorance and could skip the afterwork social events that forced me to interact with such a crazy group of people.

OP, this is just a glimpse of the Pandora's Box of choas, infighting and nastiness you're about to open up at work. At home, you'll be discovered because -- if you're not a troll -- you're so passive aggressive that you come on this forum and dare people not to judge. Who do you think you're kidding? Everybody judges everybody in D.C.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol! I'm on a warpath against two people in my office having an affair. Lots of history, but their office affair impacted our work envoronmwnt negatively. I've now lit a perverbial match and I'm burning it all down. I just successful waged a campaign and got the guy fired last Wednesday. For the female, I'm going to her husband and going to blow it all up in her face and pull the covers off her little charade.

They crossed me and now they will be outed. The off was already vastly improved yesterday.

You sound like a psycho.

Wow. +1

+2! As a person who's watched an office break down into feuds in such a situation, please crazy PP, stop! You're making it worse for all your coworkers.
At Christmas, for Gawd's sake. WWJD?

Nope, everybody is so happy that the main guy is gone. A complete cloud of misery has been lifted and the dynamic has changed. Their little affair has caused so many problems. Nobody has any idea that I'm the one that blew the lid off, but I can tell you everyone is happy that the guy is gone.

I give zero fucks that it is Christmas, maybe they should not have engaged in an office affair in the first place and he would still be employed and she would not be facing her worst nightmare after the evidence I'm about to drop on her husband.

Hey, you want to make these kind of choices in life? Deal with the consequences. If you are going to have an affair in the office, be smart and keep is quiet. There is a reason why most companies have policies against a supervisor having sexual relations with a subordinate. Break the rules, pay the price.

I get the whole work consequences thing for the guy, especially if it was affecting people at the office. But you contacting the husband of your co-worker seems a little...nutjobby? And though I assume you're planning to do it anonymously, I think it could come back to bite you in the ass later, in terms of your employment.

She's a total loser. Thr ONLY reason she even got to her position was fucking the boss, so she's of no concequence to my employment. Of course this will be anon. Everybody hates here, there's a list a mile long of people who would out here.

Hey, just a word of caution...behave professionally and treat people with decency and people won't be compelled to become merchants of karma. And most importantly keep your vile behavior under wraps and don't give people ammo to mow you down.