How to start affair with married man who's sending me mixed signals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had an early marriage and early divorce - there are SO MANY MARRIED MEN who love to feel like they 'could' bed someone else and totally get off on the feeling that they have a groupie or someone they feel they could hook up with if they said the word. even if they 'love' their wives and never want to break up their marriages etc. It's an escape for the drudgery of middle age and feeling 'put upon' to be a grown up in a functional life partnership of paying bills, chores, taking care of kids, etc - which is not the dream marriage many or any of us have. It's actually really pathetic and that totally sounds like what he's doing with you. He may do it if you explicitly hit back on him. But do think about how incredibly sucky it would be for your children if it breaks up YOUR marriage. Hell, think about how sucky it would be for YOU if YOUR marriage breaks up - being a divorced 30 something (and this guy is never ever ever going to end up with or marry you even if both of your marriages split) means lots of downward mobility, loneliness, lack of a stable and nurturing environment for your kids etc.

good lord...you " sky is falling" people need to get over yourselves.

We are sexual beings Having an affair doesn't have to end a marriage. In fact, sometimes a rewarding sexual outlet maintains the status quo in a marriage and

keeps things " stable" for the kids

you mind set is adolescent, naivel and does NOT fit with middle age

[Anonymous]

Maintain status quo in the marriage of not being honest about how you feel about your spouse and your true intentions regarding fidelity and loyalty. If your marriage vows no longer matter to you, you need to have the hard conversation with your spouse about whether you both want to stay married, want an open marriage for convenience, or want to divorce.

Sneaking around, lying, meeting your sexual needs outside the marriage is not sophisticated, nuanced, adult ... it is shitty behavior. And you know this is true because you are so careful about hiding it despite all your justifications to yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Yuck; you're lower than low. I feel terrible for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an early marriage and early divorce - there are SO MANY MARRIED MEN who love to feel like they 'could' bed someone else and totally get off on the feeling that they have a groupie or someone they feel they could hook up with if they said the word. even if they 'love' their wives and never want to break up their marriages etc. It's an escape for the drudgery of middle age and feeling 'put upon' to be a grown up in a functional life partnership of paying bills, chores, taking care of kids, etc - which is not the dream marriage many or any of us have. It's actually really pathetic and that totally sounds like what he's doing with you. He may do it if you explicitly hit back on him. But do think about how incredibly sucky it would be for your children if it breaks up YOUR marriage. Hell, think about how sucky it would be for YOU if YOUR marriage breaks up - being a divorced 30 something (and this guy is never ever ever going to end up with or marry you even if both of your marriages split) means lots of downward mobility, loneliness, lack of a stable and nurturing environment for your kids etc.

good lord...you " sky is falling" people need to get over yourselves.

We are sexual beings Having an affair doesn't have to end a marriage. In fact, sometimes a rewarding sexual outlet maintains the status quo in a marriage and

keeps things " stable" for the kids

you mind set is adolescent, naivel and does NOT fit with middle age

I guess it is true that some people can justify anything.

[Anonymous]

Yuck. You are gross OP.

[Anonymous]

Another ew you are so weird person here.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone realize this thread is almost a year old...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone realize this thread is almost a year old...

And yet it seems like just yesterday. Someone's been bumping affair threads, kind of strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you've reached the age of 38 and don't know how to get a man into bed I don't even know what advice to give.
You probably are scared to make a blatant move because you fear he will turn you down. Listen to that part of yourself, no good will come of this.

This poster makes a good point. If you don't know how to or want to approach him flat out then there is some reason holding you back. You spidey sense is telling you that it won't be reciprocated and he will turn it around on you that you made a pass at him and everything else was just innocent. Listen to your own head, he is just toying with you for amusement or something to keep in his back pocket should his marriage go south. If it does, guess what, he will find another you to keep in his back pocket.

[Anonymous]

Where is the op, we need an update!

[Anonymous]

Op is scum

[Anonymous]

Op why isn't he wearing his ring!? Does he update you abt his kids and wife?

Your marriage is on the rocks so just grow up and end it. Why r u moving with a man you're not happy with!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's toying with you for his own amusement and has no intention of ever having a physical affair.

Why would he do this? I'm not the OP, but it is hard for me to understand why this would be amusing to him.

She's stroking his ego. He's busy with his family and friends on the weekends. He only communicating with her in the evening when he's bored. He doesn't want an affair.

[Anonymous]

A lot of these people are really judgy. You said he stopped wearing his wedding band, which suggests his marriage is not in a good place anyhow, and they might even be leaning towards divorce. If I were in your situation, I would probably try being honest about how you feel. Men can be pretty dumb and he might not even realize that you’re interested in him in any way other than being friends. You just have to prepare yourself for the response. He might still be very devoted to his wife and is only looking for a friend to talk to. But he might also be wanting a new sexual partner or what have you. Point is, being straightforward may be the only way to even have a shot at it. You do you girl, your own happiness is important as is your own sexuality. good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these people are really judgy. You said he stopped wearing his wedding band, which suggests his marriage is not in a good place anyhow, and they might even be leaning towards divorce. If I were in your situation, I would probably try being honest about how you feel. Men can be pretty dumb and he might not even realize that you’re interested in him in any way other than being friends. You just have to prepare yourself for the response. He might still be very devoted to his wife and is only looking for a friend to talk to. But he might also be wanting a new sexual partner or what have you. Point is, being straightforward may be the only way to even have a shot at it. You do you girl, your own happiness is important as is your own sexuality. good luck

For that crappy feedback you bumped a reaper of a thread?

Good Christ that's sad.