I agree with this. I think any kind of response that the OP provides is just feeding her own need for drama. "O. M. G. Larla's Mom - guess who contact me again on FB?! Can you believe it? He was telling me again about how awesome I am!" |
I see we have gotten to the "lets turn on the OP" portion of the thread. |
The way I got rid of a persistent ex was by nagging the crap out of him to step up and provide for the child that he had fathered (while still seeing me). As soon as I started to hound him about "you bring them into this world, you take care of them"....he was gone. Lol. |
Meh... I can kind of see what they are getting at. Regardless of her intentions, there is nothing that cAn justify needing a response that contains more than "please do not contact me again" after what she has already told him in her previous replies. |
From what I have read, she seems cautious about setting him off because of her last experience rejecting him. I can see her desire to maybe reach out for some constructive advice on how to word things. |
| I understand, but she has already made it clear that she is not interested. The only thing left is to tell him to stop contacting her. Nothing she says is going to change his obsession with her, or he would have backed off the first 2 times. the sooner she starts ignoring him the sooner he will no longer be a part of her life. If he proceeds to start stalking her physically then you get the police involved. It's as simple as that. He doesn't seem to be that type or I think he would have had a physical presence by now. Woman have to get rid of stalkers all the time, it's not rocket science lol. Any attention she gives him, even in the form of a lengthy response, will be seen (by him) as an invitation to continue. It doesn't have to be rational for him to act on it. We have already established this guy is a kook. Best course of action? Tell him in no uncertain terms to stop trying to contact you and move forward. |
Isn't that pretty much what she said she was going to do in her update? She just asked for advice on wording. |
| Pp again...didn't the OP say she got what she needed and stop reading this thread several pages ago? Let's not beat a dead horse or whatever the saying is lol |
LOL! Women do this all the time so lets ridicule this one for reaching out for advice. What an idiot she is, she probably enjoys being stalked.
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Oh please, I was not ridiculing her. No need to troll |
You should look up the definition of troll. |
^To clarify, this was a child that I had heard about through the grapevine (not my child). The ex had called me years after I had cut off all communication with him to tell me that he still loved me and still considered me his girlfriend. I told him that, no, that was no longer the case and that I was in a very serious relationship with another guy. Ex kept persisting and insisting that NO, he was still my boyfriend. Ugh. That was when I asked him about his child....and the nagging just took over. I swear it was like throwing a bucket of water on him. Nagging and bringing up some kind of disgusting/unsexy made up health issue - like tell him that you have surgery scheduled to repair the varicose vein in your vagina or some other gross thing. It doesn't have to be real. Just gross enough to turn him off....forever. |
Sure seemed like you were making light of her concern, I mean lol its not rocket science right and shes just leading him on. |
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She said [I am going to use a form of what 15:03 advised "Ex, I have told you that I am not interested in a relationship with you. Your messages are disrespectful - to me, to my marriage, to my husband, to my children. Do not contact me again. Sarah"]
I think that is a lot more information than " do not try to contact me again" It might not seem like much but I think a 'stalker' could interpret that as " dang I came off too hard that time, I need to let her cool for a bit and try again without being so disrespectful this time" Of course I could be wrong, since I'm trying to psycho analyze what a stalker would do ..I feel like "do not try to contact me again" leaves much less open to interpretation |
I said its not rocket science as in you need to say it in one sentence as "do not contact me again" and ignore all further contact. Instead of trying to come up with a way to convey that message without upsetting him. How you got that, out of everything else I wrote , is a bit sad. I thought I made quite a few good points. I guess we just handle stalkers differently . |