Parents who refuse to participate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would bet the children are being left to their own devices with canned goods, a can opener, some liquor, and a t.v. remote nearby. Perhaps some feral cats in the kitchen for company, and porn on the t.v. for entertainment. Maybe the non driving family will babysit, since they are so very helpful.

You're nasty. Did something OP said hit a nerve? Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Who in the world is so secretive they can't say: "you know, we are in a bad situation right now with Don's work (or whatever somewhat vague statement here). I trust you enough not to say anything to anyone. We just can't drive our own kid right now." Is this the KGB?

You clearly have little life experience. There are a multitude of reasons why people don't share when they're in a bad situation.

Like what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Who in the world is so secretive they can't say: "you know, we are in a bad situation right now with Don's work (or whatever somewhat vague statement here). I trust you enough not to say anything to anyone. We just can't drive our own kid right now." Is this the KGB?

You clearly have little life experience. There are a multitude of reasons why people don't share when they're in a bad situation.

I know! They're extremely paranoid to a state of severe mental illness or think this is Communist China!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How would anyone ever get ahead by being a taker? It's as if they just gave up on life and decided to take when it suits them. Like a lizard.

Lizards give up on life and decide to take when it suits them?

Or was this an autocorrect?

Please explain! I'm fascinated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, when I was growing up, my parents never wanted to drive me anywhere. I was conscious from a pretty early age of that kind of "mooch" feeling when other people's families do things that yours don't, like give rides or have friends over for dinner. On behalf of the kids for whom you are doing extra, I say thank you so much. You are making their childhood better. You are also helping your own child out by facilitating his friendships. When he is older, and possibly have kids of his own, he will appreciate even more that you did that for him.

I was the same - from about age 10 on if I wanted to go somewhere I had to walk. My parents never wanted me to have friends over. It was totally embarrassing that I could never reciprocate. Not saying you'd do this OP, but I still remember the day one of my friend's mom drive me home and grilled me as to why I couldn't have friends over. It was mortifying. On the other hand, I also remember the friend's mom who picked me up and dropped me off places constantly without ever making it seem like a big deal. In fact, she would often offer as part of the invitation because she knew I wouldn't be able to go wherever unless I had a ride. I'm sure it was annoying as anything for her but she never showed it.

Same here, exactly. I still remember the day another mom dropped me off and instructed me to tell my mom it was time for her to do her fair share of driving. Uh, she doesn't wan to and doesn't care. Totally humiliating.

That said, OP, I think you are the jerk here. If your kids want to see their kids, you are doing to have to do the leg work. Life is not even. If I am going somewhere and my kids want friends to come along, I am happy to have them -- for my kids' sake.

People who keep score tend to be unhappy all the time, no matter what the situation. That's the kind of person you seem like to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. The other family refuses to drive. It is not a space issue, they have several large vehicles and several capable, available, able bodied, and able minded drivers.

Thank you for allowing me to sum it up succinctly

So why is that your problem? Oh, because your DC wants to drive with their DC -- and since they don't want to drive, you have to do it. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Why the complaining and score keeping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for your question. Carpool, playdate, activity, everything the other child is involved in! UGH.

methinks you are over-scheduling your child

Can you let your kid just be and stop micromanaging his/her time?

But a parent who refuses to drive is not over scheduling? Methinks you are the parent being posted about!

You women are fucking maddening.

OP (and I'm sure the rest of you) have displaced hostility. If one parent in your CREW of over-scheduling moms and dads is a slacker, so what?

The problem is OP and her cronies who think that shuffling kids from morning to night from one activity to another is parenting.

So you're tired as crap & angry b/c you can't fucking sit for 5 minutes to pee, and yet you blame the Slacker Parent for not picking up little Lulu from violin.

Get a life, morons!

These activities and all this drama are all about YOU! It's not about your kids. They're just trophies to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP learn to avoid the people who won't do their share

OP sounds really nasty. Maybe the other parents never volunteer to drive because they don't want to encourage her and are hoping she will give up and stop begging for time with their DC. I wouldn't want someone that mean around my kids.

I'm so glad there are more nice people in the world than nasty ones. I mean IRL, of course.

[Anonymous]

How is this such a big problem? You live through one season of an activity with a sucky set of parents and then if you are continuing the activity and they are too, you make your carpool arrangements without the nonparticipating family. They don't have any obligation to tell me why they choose not to participate and I don't have any obligation to alter my schedule and sacrifice my time for them. Over time, you learn who is reliable and who is not and you plan accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for your question. Carpool, playdate, activity, everything the other child is involved in! UGH.

methinks you are over-scheduling your child

Can you let your kid just be and stop micromanaging his/her time?

But a parent who refuses to drive is not over scheduling? Methinks you are the parent being posted about!

You women are fucking maddening.

OP (and I'm sure the rest of you) have displaced hostility. If one parent in your CREW of over-scheduling moms and dads is a slacker, so what?

The problem is OP and her cronies who think that shuffling kids from morning to night from one activity to another is parenting.

So you're tired as crap & angry b/c you can't fucking sit for 5 minutes to pee, and yet you blame the Slacker Parent for not picking up little Lulu from violin.

Get a life, morons!

These activities and all this drama are all about YOU! It's not about your kids. They're just trophies to you.

Step away from the keyboard, walk over to your medicine cabinet, and take yoir SSRI...you missed a dose.

Just calm down. This is the internet. Its Saturday. Just breathe. Tomorrow is a new day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they have a large enough car/ extra boosters to be able to carpool?

OP has already said clearly that the two parents prefer NOT to carpool and would rather drive by themselves.

OP is the only one that actually wants to carpool.

I don't think the OP has said ANYTHING clearly in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, when I was growing up, my parents never wanted to drive me anywhere. I was conscious from a pretty early age of that kind of "mooch" feeling when other people's families do things that yours don't, like give rides or have friends over for dinner. On behalf of the kids for whom you are doing extra, I say thank you so much. You are making their childhood better. You are also helping your own child out by facilitating his friendships. When he is older, and possibly have kids of his own, he will appreciate even more that you did that for him.

I was the same - from about age 10 on if I wanted to go somewhere I had to walk. My parents never wanted me to have friends over. It was totally embarrassing that I could never reciprocate. Not saying you'd do this OP, but I still remember the day one of my friend's mom drive me home and grilled me as to why I couldn't have friends over. It was mortifying. On the other hand, I also remember the friend's mom who picked me up and dropped me off places constantly without ever making it seem like a big deal. In fact, she would often offer as part of the invitation because she knew I wouldn't be able to go wherever unless I had a ride. I'm sure it was annoying as anything for her but she never showed it.

Same here, exactly. I still remember the day another mom dropped me off and instructed me to tell my mom it was time for her to do her fair share of driving. Uh, she doesn't wan to and doesn't care. Totally humiliating.

That said, OP, I think you are the jerk here. If your kids want to see their kids, you are doing to have to do the leg work. Life is not even. If I am going somewhere and my kids want friends to come along, I am happy to have them -- for my kids' sake.

People who keep score tend to be unhappy all the time, no matter what the situation. That's the kind of person you seem like to me.

This is so completely true.

[Anonymous]

Is it score keeping or is it fairness? Yes, life is not fair - clearly moreso to some than others (as seen by PPs) - and perhaps this nonparticipant is the epitome of that.

Now, why is that OP's problem? Because it will be anyone's problem who does not fit the mold of the teeny, tiny population the nonparticipant sees fit for their child. OP is just one of the many. How will you feel when OP is you?

OP does not sound unhappy, just questioning. Do you know OP personally? Why don't you like OP questioning this behavior?

Interesting.

If you are not happy with your husband, for example, is the hot, friendly woman next door your target? I would suppose yes. Not so difficult to decipher, after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it score keeping or is it fairness? Yes, life is not fair - clearly moreso to some than others (as seen by PPs) - and perhaps this nonparticipant is the epitome of that.

Now, why is that OP's problem? Because it will be anyone's problem who does not fit the mold of the teeny, tiny population the nonparticipant sees fit for their child. OP is just one of the many. How will you feel when OP is you?

OP does not sound unhappy, just questioning. Do you know OP personally? Why don't you like OP questioning this behavior?

Interesting.

If you are not happy with your husband, for example, is the hot, friendly woman next door your target? I would suppose yes. Not so difficult to decipher, after all.

Hysterical. This MUST be OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it score keeping or is it fairness? Yes, life is not fair - clearly moreso to some than others (as seen by PPs) - and perhaps this nonparticipant is the epitome of that.

Now, why is that OP's problem? Because it will be anyone's problem who does not fit the mold of the teeny, tiny population the nonparticipant sees fit for their child. OP is just one of the many. How will you feel when OP is you?

OP does not sound unhappy, just questioning. Do you know OP personally? Why don't you like OP questioning this behavior?

Interesting.

If you are not happy with your husband, for example, is the hot, friendly woman next door your target? I would suppose yes. Not so difficult to decipher, after all.

Hysterical. This MUST be OP.

Of course. There can't be more than one posted with that tortured syntax.