Parents who refuse to participate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP indicated that the parents do not want to carpool with her.

She also indicated that the other parents only want their kids to be in a classroom that has people from their culture (That is simply not happening in the US - so I think that is a big fake complaint)

Could it be that they do not want their kid to associate with OP and her kid?

This is fun - you guys are hilarious! OP here. On my way out for a date soon Might I suggest the same for a particular PP?

The "non participant family" is not well liked, I believe this is why. They do tend to hang out with their own, for better or worse. Maybe misery loves company? One can only imagine. I tend to gravitate toward more social people, given my background (nope, won't divulge that here, but you would be shocked, given your PPs, undoubtedly) - all of my DC are social, and usually hang out with more social friends. Except this one.

Peculiar that you keep pretending not to understand, yet do not have specific questions, and fail to ask for clarification in a civil manner; and you seem to be taking offense to my situation, instead of offering anything helpful; and you find this some sort of a game, as if you take delight in others asking a question. Gosh, I hope you don't work for me! Not for long, anyway.

But by all means, pretend to know me. And keep twisting my words - you are a hoot! This is getting better and better!

Good luck, PP. You will need it

You are going on a date? With your husband I presume? Hope you have arranged for childcare for your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP indicated that the parents do not want to carpool with her.

She also indicated that the other parents only want their kids to be in a classroom that has people from their culture (That is simply not happening in the US - so I think that is a big fake complaint)

Could it be that they do not want their kid to associate with OP and her kid?

This is fun - you guys are hilarious! OP here. On my way out for a date soon Might I suggest the same for a particular PP?

The "non participant family" is not well liked, I believe this is why. They do tend to hang out with their own, for better or worse. Maybe misery loves company? One can only imagine. I tend to gravitate toward more social people, given my background (nope, won't divulge that here, but you would be shocked, given your PPs, undoubtedly) - all of my DC are social, and usually hang out with more social friends. Except this one.

Peculiar that you keep pretending not to understand, yet do not have specific questions, and fail to ask for clarification in a civil manner; and you seem to be taking offense to my situation, instead of offering anything helpful; and you find this some sort of a game, as if you take delight in others asking a question. Gosh, I hope you don't work for me! Not for long, anyway.

But by all means, pretend to know me. And keep twisting my words - you are a hoot! This is getting better and better!

Good luck, PP. You will need it

You are going on a date? With your husband I presume? Hope you have arranged for childcare for your kid?

What does that have to do with the thread? Lol.

[Anonymous]

I would bet the children are being left to their own devices with canned goods, a can opener, some liquor, and a t.v. remote nearby. Perhaps some feral cats in the kitchen for company, and porn on the t.v. for entertainment. Maybe the non driving family will babysit, since they are so very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. The other family refuses to drive. It is not a space issue, they have several large vehicles and several capable, available, able bodied, and able minded drivers.

Thank you for allowing me to sum it up succinctly

So don't take their kid. Why is this complicated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP indicated that the parents do not want to carpool with her.

She also indicated that the other parents only want their kids to be in a classroom that has people from their culture (That is simply not happening in the US - so I think that is a big fake complaint)

Could it be that they do not want their kid to associate with OP and her kid?

This is fun - you guys are hilarious! OP here. On my way out for a date soon Might I suggest the same for a particular PP?

The "non participant family" is not well liked, I believe this is why. They do tend to hang out with their own, for better or worse. Maybe misery loves company? One can only imagine. I tend to gravitate toward more social people, given my background (nope, won't divulge that here, but you would be shocked, given your PPs, undoubtedly) - all of my DC are social, and usually hang out with more social friends. Except this one.

Peculiar that you keep pretending not to understand, yet do not have specific questions, and fail to ask for clarification in a civil manner; and you seem to be taking offense to my situation, instead of offering anything helpful; and you find this some sort of a game, as if you take delight in others asking a question. Gosh, I hope you don't work for me! Not for long, anyway.

But by all means, pretend to know me. And keep twisting my words - you are a hoot! This is getting better and better!

Good luck, PP. You will need it

Are you on drugs? (I'm not pp). This makes NO sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. The other family refuses to drive. It is not a space issue, they have several large vehicles and several capable, available, able bodied, and able minded drivers.

Thank you for allowing me to sum it up succinctly

Are you asking for advice about how to get them to change their mind and stop refusing to drive?

My advice is: accept that you can't control their behavior; you can only control yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would be more than happy to answer any more questions. How do I tell my child that her friends parents suck?

You don't. Don't do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for your question. Carpool, playdate, activity, everything the other child is involved in! UGH.

OP - I think you should know that most people don't share their private lives with everyone, and you can't know what burdens the "nonparticipants" are carrying. I was a non-participant the years my husband had chemo. I would not have told you because it was not your business. So, you would only have had compassion for me if I were an over sharer.

Here's how you handle it:
You do what you do to get your kid the experiences you want. You carpool with those who are willing to work with you. Then you drop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for your question. Carpool, playdate, activity, everything the other child is involved in! UGH.

OP - I think you should know that most people don't share their private lives with everyone, and you can't know what burdens the "nonparticipants" are carrying. I was a non-participant the years my husband had chemo. I would not have told you because it was not your business. So, you would only have had compassion for me if I were an over sharer.

Here's how you handle it:
You do what you do to get your kid the experiences you want. You carpool with those who are willing to work with you. Then you drop it.

So you don't drive the one person whose parents refuse to participate, but you participate in the carpool with the rest. And the other parents, who have also had it with this same family (who refuses to participate) leave that family out, also. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for your question. Carpool, playdate, activity, everything the other child is involved in! UGH.

methinks you are over-scheduling your child

Can you let your kid just be and stop micromanaging his/her time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP indicated that the parents do not want to carpool with her.

She also indicated that the other parents only want their kids to be in a classroom that has people from their culture (That is simply not happening in the US - so I think that is a big fake complaint)

Could it be that they do not want their kid to associate with OP and her kid?

This is fun - you guys are hilarious! OP here. On my way out for a date soon Might I suggest the same for a particular PP?

The "non participant family" is not well liked, I believe this is why. They do tend to hang out with their own, for better or worse. Maybe misery loves company? One can only imagine. I tend to gravitate toward more social people, given my background (nope, won't divulge that here, but you would be shocked, given your PPs, undoubtedly) - all of my DC are social, and usually hang out with more social friends. Except this one.

Peculiar that you keep pretending not to understand, yet do not have specific questions, and fail to ask for clarification in a civil manner; and you seem to be taking offense to my situation, instead of offering anything helpful; and you find this some sort of a game, as if you take delight in others asking a question. Gosh, I hope you don't work for me! Not for long, anyway.

But by all means, pretend to know me. And keep twisting my words - you are a hoot! This is getting better and better!

Good luck, PP. You will need it

[Anonymous]

Who in the world is so secretive they can't say: "you know, we are in a bad situation right now with Don's work (or whatever somewhat vague statement here). I trust you enough not to say anything to anyone. We just can't drive our own kid right now." Is this the KGB?

It's not like you are asking them to say: "you know, we could not give two craps about our kid. Our other kid matters so much more. So we are going to stay at home with the other kid, and f*ck the first kid, because we basically wish he were never born." Which may or may not be happening.

I mean, presumably they have known this family for a number of years, if the child keeps insisting on spending time with them? Are they complete strangers? Where was it said they were complete strangers? Why are so many assumptions being made about one side and not the other?

Why is being one sided acceptable in favor of the takers, but not the givers? Are there that many takers who choose to become parents? How sad.

How would anyone ever get ahead by being a taker? It's as if they just gave up on life and decided to take when it suits them. Like a lizard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for your question. Carpool, playdate, activity, everything the other child is involved in! UGH.

methinks you are over-scheduling your child

Can you let your kid just be and stop micromanaging his/her time?

But a parent who refuses to drive is not over scheduling? Methinks you are the parent being posted about!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP indicated that the parents do not want to carpool with her.

She also indicated that the other parents only want their kids to be in a classroom that has people from their culture (That is simply not happening in the US - so I think that is a big fake complaint)

Could it be that they do not want their kid to associate with OP and her kid?

This is fun - you guys are hilarious! OP here. On my way out for a date soon Might I suggest the same for a particular PP?

The "non participant family" is not well liked, I believe this is why. They do tend to hang out with their own, for better or worse. Maybe misery loves company? One can only imagine. I tend to gravitate toward more social people, given my background (nope, won't divulge that here, but you would be shocked, given your PPs, undoubtedly) - all of my DC are social, and usually hang out with more social friends. Except this one.

Peculiar that you keep pretending not to understand, yet do not have specific questions, and fail to ask for clarification in a civil manner; and you seem to be taking offense to my situation, instead of offering anything helpful; and you find this some sort of a game, as if you take delight in others asking a question. Gosh, I hope you don't work for me! Not for long, anyway.

But by all means, pretend to know me. And keep twisting my words - you are a hoot! This is getting better and better!

Good luck, PP. You will need it

WARNING. WARNING. NERVE HIT. Mission accomplished. High fives all around.

[Anonymous]

Who in the world is so secretive they can't say: "you know, we are in a bad situation right now with Don's work (or whatever somewhat vague statement here). I trust you enough not to say anything to anyone. We just can't drive our own kid right now." Is this the KGB?

You clearly have little life experience. There are a multitude of reasons why people don't share when they're in a bad situation.