Guy I'm seeing made a joke about raping me and doesn't think it's a problem

[Anonymous]

Well as a guy, it is weird he said he could have raped you. That's not really what normal guys thinks or says to their girlfriend when they are drunk. You say you were just dizzy, why would he say he could have raped you? When I hear you could have been raped. I think of a passed out drunk and am concerned about your safety in general.
You should pass on this guy and get help with the sexual abuse/assault from your past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why were you too drunk to have sex? I don't understand.

If you had just met him I would get it, but I think it's totally fine to have drunk sex with boyfriends or husbands! IMO it's the best...

I had 3 drinks. So I was dizzy and out of it.

But ready to bang? What kind of woman does this?

Say What? I will fuckthehelloutta my DH when i'm drunk. I might even let him stick it in my ass.

I think the OP need psychological help for her past trauma. The statement would not have given me pause, but I've never bee raped.

You sound charming

I wish she would talk to my wife. She sounds hot.

[Anonymous]

Guy's a douche. Dump him and move on.

OP needs therapy to make prior assault as much of a non-issue as possible.

Getting drunk doesn't make a rapist rape - just makes it easier for predators to do what they wanted to do anyway.

Drunk sex can be fun.

A little surprised that 3 drinks matters much one way or another -- doesn't seem like that much to drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why were you too drunk to have sex? I don't understand.

If you had just met him I would get it, but I think it's totally fine to have drunk sex with boyfriends or husbands! IMO it's the best...

I had 3 drinks. So I was dizzy and out of it.

But ready to bang? What kind of woman does this?

Say What? I will fuckthehelloutta my DH when i'm drunk. I might even let him stick it in my ass.

I think the OP need psychological help for her past trauma. The statement would not have given me pause, but I've never bee raped.

You sound charming

I wish she would talk to my wife. She sounds hot.

until you find out she's probably not 120 pounds, perfect body
http://forums.menshealth.com/topic/63643898167276690

[Anonymous]

Guys can be dumb. Talk to him and let him know if made you uncomfortable. Also, maybe time to slow down the drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys can be dumb. Talk to him and let him know if made you uncomfortable. Also, maybe time to slow down the drinking.

She already did. Dude doesn't care. It's time to dump him. Drinking is not the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys can be dumb. Talk to him and let him know if made you uncomfortable. Also, maybe time to slow down the drinking.

She already did. Dude doesn't care. It's time to dump him. Drinking is not the issue.

Drinking is not *the* issue, but it sounds like *an* issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Umm you are an idiot, he didn't have sex with you and was letting you know why.

We tried to have sex, but couldn't. I kept getting dizzy.

You do know that could be considered statutory rape in much of the country? Y need to have the mind to consent. You were drunk

[Anonymous]

Run away as fast as you can now!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well as a guy, it is weird he said he could have raped you. That's not really what normal guys thinks or says to their girlfriend when they are drunk. You say you were just dizzy, why would he say he could have raped you? When I hear you could have been raped. I think of a passed out drunk and am concerned about your safety in general.
You should pass on this guy and get help with the sexual abuse/assault from your past.

Another guy - I would never use the word rape, even in an attempt at bad humor. Just the connotations of the word are awful. No human being should ever be a victim of such a horrendous crime.

[Anonymous]

Title of this thread is misleading. The guy never made a joke about "raping you"; that's your interpretation. He basically said "...it is a good thing you are with me and I am not the type to take advantage of you..." but not in so many words. The scars from your past caused you to interpret it like that. If this guy were a rapist, you would have had much more telling red flags over the last six months.

My suggestion is to get help heal those scars and stop equating him with those who hurt you in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Umm you are an idiot, he didn't have sex with you and was letting you know why.

We tried to have sex, but couldn't. I kept getting dizzy.

You do know that could be considered statutory rape in much of the country? Y need to have the mind to consent. You were drunk

Having drunken sex is "rape."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Umm you are an idiot, he didn't have sex with you and was letting you know why.

We tried to have sex, but couldn't. I kept getting dizzy.

You do know that could be considered statutory rape in much of the country? Y need to have the mind to consent. You were drunk

Having drunken sex is "rape."

*isn't*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as a guy, it is weird he said he could have raped you. That's not really what normal guys thinks or says to their girlfriend when they are drunk. You say you were just dizzy, why would he say he could have raped you? When I hear you could have been raped. I think of a passed out drunk and am concerned about your safety in general.
You should pass on this guy and get help with the sexual abuse/assault from your past.

Another guy - I would never use the word rape, even in an attempt at bad humor. Just the connotations of the word are awful. No human being should ever be a victim of such a horrendous crime.

I am sorry but it does not matter what word you would use and whether you are male or female. There is no standard for what males say in situations (like this). What matters is what the word 'rape' means for the OP. If her guy had used another word it would not have had the same effect, and the real reason it has this effect is because she was thosetim, unfortunately. Had she not been a victim, she would not post this thread but would have continued seeing this guy as "boyfriend material"

It is really unfortunate that you ppl are branding this guy rapist while missing the real issue here. OP has never had any reason to feel that he will/would rape her. What we do know is that he referenced something that relates to her past. Does that make him a rapist?! For all I know if he had those intentions she would have noticed other signs (like rage, jealousy, insecurity, aggression) long before he referenced the word rape. So the real issue for me is how OP decides to get past this hurt by getting help instead of asking strangers online to make sense of what this innocent guy (who did not take advantage of her while she was drunk) supposedly meant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as a guy, it is weird he said he could have raped you. That's not really what normal guys thinks or says to their girlfriend when they are drunk. You say you were just dizzy, why would he say he could have raped you? When I hear you could have been raped. I think of a passed out drunk and am concerned about your safety in general.
You should pass on this guy and get help with the sexual abuse/assault from your past.

Another guy - I would never use the word rape, even in an attempt at bad humor. Just the connotations of the word are awful. No human being should ever be a victim of such a horrendous crime.

I am sorry but it does not matter what word you would use and whether you are male or female. There is no standard for what males say in situations (like this). What matters is what the word 'rape' means for the OP. If her guy had used another word it would not have had the same effect, and the real reason it has this effect is because she was a victim of a sex crime unfortunately. Had she not been a victim, she would not post this thread but would have continued seeing this guy as "boyfriend material"

It is really unfortunate that you ppl are branding this guy rapist while missing the real issue here. OP has never had any reason to feel that he will/would rape her. What we do know is that he referenced something that relates to her past. Does that make him a rapist?! For all I know if he had those intentions she would have noticed other signs (like rage, jealousy, insecurity, aggression) long before he referenced the word rape. So the real issue for me is how OP decides to get past this hurt by getting help instead of asking strangers online to make sense of what this innocent guy (who did not take advantage of her while she was drunk) supposedly meant.