Reply to Guy I'm seeing made a joke about raping me and doesn't think it's a problem

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Reply to "Guy I'm seeing made a joke about raping me and doesn't think it's a problem"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well as a guy, it is weird he said he could have raped you. That's not really what normal guys thinks or says to their girlfriend when they are drunk. You say you were just dizzy, why would he say he could have raped you? When I hear you could have been raped. I think of a passed out drunk and am concerned about your safety in general. 
You should pass on this guy and get help with the sexual abuse/assault from your past. [/quote]

Another guy - I would never use the word rape, even in an attempt at bad humor.  Just the connotations of the word are awful.  No human being should ever be a victim of such a horrendous crime.[/quote]

I am sorry but it does not matter what word you would use and whether you are male or female. There is no standard for what males say in situations (like this). What matters is what the word 'rape' means for the OP. If her guy had used another word it would not have had the same effect, and the real reason it has this effect is because she was a victim of a sex crime unfortunately. Had she not been a victim, she would not post this thread but would have continued seeing this guy as "boyfriend material"

It is really unfortunate that you ppl are branding this guy rapist while missing the real issue here. OP has never had any reason to feel that he will/would rape her. What we do know is that he referenced something that relates to her past. Does that make him a rapist?! For all I know if he had those intentions she would have noticed other signs (like rage, jealousy, insecurity, aggression) long before he referenced the word rape. So the real issue for me is how OP decides to get past this hurt by getting help instead of asking strangers online to make sense of what this innocent guy (who did not take advantage of her while she was drunk) supposedly meant.[/quote]

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