Guy I'm seeing made a joke about raping me and doesn't think it's a problem

[Anonymous]

What happened to you in college?

[Anonymous]

An ex of mine forced me to sleep with him or else he'd hit me (he did anyway)

[Anonymous]

Joking about raping someone--not funny. Jokes about raping your girlfriend, who you know was sexually assaulted before--extra not funny. Sounds like this guy lacks empathy.

Who cares if he thinks its a silly reason to break up? You can break up with someone for any reason. It's not up to him whether or not you guys break up. See this as a red flag, which would will ignore at your own peril.

[Anonymous]

OP, it was a stupid remark. I would at least ask him where it came from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it was a stupid remark. I would at least ask him where it came from.

honestly, it could have been a joke that he met nothing of, but it's been a couple of days and I'm still hurt.

[Anonymous]

In college, I had a g/f who wanted me to walk her somewhere in the dark so she didn't get raped. I told her that, statistically speaking, she was safer without me. Maybe that's why she dumped me.

[Anonymous]

I think your boyfriend was insensitive. Whether I'd leave him for that comment would depend on whether this was a pattern of insensitivity or a one-time thing, and whether BF seemed to "get it" when I called him out on his comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In college, I had a g/f who wanted me to walk her somewhere in the dark so she didn't get raped. I told her that, statistically speaking, she was safer without me. Maybe that's why she dumped me.

That remark was creepy and threatening. I'd dump you, too.

Live and learn.

[Anonymous]

I am not a fan of rape jokes but I actually think that the worst part is that, seeing you were hurt by it, he didn't do a 180, offer a sincere apology, and say he would never make such a disrespectful comment to you again.

[Anonymous]

Unless there are other reasons you want to stop seeing him, I'd be inclined to put this down to a big blunder on his part, and to consider his follow up reaction as embarrassment with himself. I'd tell him it was hurtful and then try to get past it. BUT, if there are other things that worry you, I'd get out early.

People make mistakes (as you know from drinking too much!!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your boyfriend was insensitive. Whether I'd leave him for that comment would depend on whether this was a pattern of insensitivity or a one-time thing, and whether BF seemed to "get it" when I called him out on his comment.

we're not an official Couple. That bothers me too, but I feel like he's not there yet or may never be. That's another story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless there are other reasons you want to stop seeing him, I'd be inclined to put this down to a big blunder on his part, and to consider his follow up reaction as embarrassment with himself. I'd tell him it was hurtful and then try to get past it. BUT, if there are other things that worry you, I'd get out early.

People make mistakes (as you know from drinking too much!!).

Don't you know how to apologize when you're sorry??
Your advice is sick. You need help too.

[Anonymous]

It iwas nothing more than a bad joke. Chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your boyfriend was insensitive. Whether I'd leave him for that comment would depend on whether this was a pattern of insensitivity or a one-time thing, and whether BF seemed to "get it" when I called him out on his comment.

we're not an official Couple. That bothers me too, but I feel like he's not there yet or may never be. That's another story

Good point. Yes, he may not be boyfriend material. I'd take a wait and see approach and not get overly invested just yet.

[Anonymous]

No surprise why there are so many unmarried or divorced women. The hype on rape is overboard.