Vent: Annoyed that Grandmother's House = too much TV

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

This thread is about FAMILY gatherings, so what would apply here does not translate into what you would do at a different sort of dinner party. My family and friends often watch TV together at casual gatherings. For award shows, we discuss outfits, speeches, red carpet, etc. For TV shows, we discuss theories on "who dun it" and/or what just happened. Or we'll watch game shows and try to guess the answers. Watching TV is not always an "eyes straight ahead thing" but can be an interactive experience as well.

If you're 35 or younger, I could see that. I have good friends I see only once or twice a month and our time together to catch up on each other's lives is too precious to waste over a TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

This thread is about FAMILY gatherings, so what would apply here does not translate into what you would do at a different sort of dinner party. My family and friends often watch TV together at casual gatherings. For award shows, we discuss outfits, speeches, red carpet, etc. For TV shows, we discuss theories on "who dun it" and/or what just happened. Or we'll watch game shows and try to guess the answers. Watching TV is not always an "eyes straight ahead thing" but can be an interactive experience as well.

I can think of a million things I would rather discuss than a game show. Seriously , you aren't helping the tv cause here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

I like people with whom I am conversing to give me their uninterrupted attention. Come to think of it, that's why I prefer adults only parties as well, so people aren't distracted by their kids either.

Ah, so you're emotionally needy? Got it.

It's emotionally needy to want someone's attention during a conversation? Are you one of those who texts while you're out to lunch with a friend? I don't go for that either.

Nope, but the idea that you don't want kids around so that someone can fully focus on your hammertoe crisis? Over the top and very needy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

This thread is about FAMILY gatherings, so what would apply here does not translate into what you would do at a different sort of dinner party. My family and friends often watch TV together at casual gatherings. For award shows, we discuss outfits, speeches, red carpet, etc. For TV shows, we discuss theories on "who dun it" and/or what just happened. Or we'll watch game shows and try to guess the answers. Watching TV is not always an "eyes straight ahead thing" but can be an interactive experience as well.

If you're 35 or younger, I could see that. I have good friends I see only once or twice a month and our time together to catch up on each other's lives is too precious to waste over a TV.

I hope I never lose my enjoyment of lively and fun things. And almost all of my very close friends and family are nearby, so we get together and communicate with one another often, so there's no "cram everything into this visit" feel to our gatherings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

I like people with whom I am conversing to give me their uninterrupted attention. Come to think of it, that's why I prefer adults only parties as well, so people aren't distracted by their kids either.

Ah, so you're emotionally needy? Got it.

It's emotionally needy to want someone's attention during a conversation? Are you one of those who texts while you're out to lunch with a friend? I don't go for that either.

Nope, but the idea that you don't want kids around so that someone can fully focus on your hammertoe crisis? Over the top and very needy.

Why? I give my friend whose mother is dying of ALS my full attention; she can certainly spend ten minutes of her life asking me how my business is going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

This thread is about FAMILY gatherings, so what would apply here does not translate into what you would do at a different sort of dinner party. My family and friends often watch TV together at casual gatherings. For award shows, we discuss outfits, speeches, red carpet, etc. For TV shows, we discuss theories on "who dun it" and/or what just happened. Or we'll watch game shows and try to guess the answers. Watching TV is not always an "eyes straight ahead thing" but can be an interactive experience as well.

I can think of a million things I would rather discuss than a game show. Seriously , you aren't helping the tv cause here.

I'm not trying to help a cause. Playing along with a game show and discussing it are two different things. Let me guess: your gatherings consist of dissecting the latest mathematical theory?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

This thread is about FAMILY gatherings, so what would apply here does not translate into what you would do at a different sort of dinner party. My family and friends often watch TV together at casual gatherings. For award shows, we discuss outfits, speeches, red carpet, etc. For TV shows, we discuss theories on "who dun it" and/or what just happened. Or we'll watch game shows and try to guess the answers. Watching TV is not always an "eyes straight ahead thing" but can be an interactive experience as well.

If you're 35 or younger, I could see that. I have good friends I see only once or twice a month and our time together to catch up on each other's lives is too precious to waste over a TV.

I hope I never lose my enjoyment of lively and fun things. And almost all of my very close friends and family are nearby, so we get together and communicate with one another often, so there's no "cram everything into this visit" feel to our gatherings.

Yes, if I saw my friends often, I could see how you wouldn't feel the need to discuss work, kids, husband, etc. every time you got together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

I like people with whom I am conversing to give me their uninterrupted attention. Come to think of it, that's why I prefer adults only parties as well, so people aren't distracted by their kids either.

Ah, so you're emotionally needy? Got it.

It's emotionally needy to want someone's attention during a conversation? Are you one of those who texts while you're out to lunch with a friend? I don't go for that either.

Nope, but the idea that you don't want kids around so that someone can fully focus on your hammertoe crisis? Over the top and very needy.

Why? I give my friend whose mother is dying of ALS my full attention; she can certainly spend ten minutes of her life asking me how my business is going.

OMG, I can't stand tit for tat people like you. Do everyone a favor and stay home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

This thread is about FAMILY gatherings, so what would apply here does not translate into what you would do at a different sort of dinner party. My family and friends often watch TV together at casual gatherings. For award shows, we discuss outfits, speeches, red carpet, etc. For TV shows, we discuss theories on "who dun it" and/or what just happened. Or we'll watch game shows and try to guess the answers. Watching TV is not always an "eyes straight ahead thing" but can be an interactive experience as well.

If you're 35 or younger, I could see that. I have good friends I see only once or twice a month and our time together to catch up on each other's lives is too precious to waste over a TV.

I hope I never lose my enjoyment of lively and fun things. And almost all of my very close friends and family are nearby, so we get together and communicate with one another often, so there's no "cram everything into this visit" feel to our gatherings.

Many people would not categorize tv viewing in the " lively" category.

[Anonymous]

This thread has reinforced my belief that the tv-on-at-all-times-no-matter-what-the-situation crowd has some severe social issues. I like TV - I watch quite a bit when DC is napping or asleep at night, because I can do a lot of housework or crafts. But I do not have it one when I have guests. That's rude rude, rude and completely disregards the comfort of one's guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We usually have the TV on as background noise. We have lots of lively conversations and certainly no one ignores anyone. Doesn't sound normal to me.

Why do you feel like you need background noise? If no one is watching it, why don't you turn it off? I genuinely would like to know.

I'm not PP, but for the same reason that some people like to have the radio playing while they are working.

Some people function better when there is background noise, as opposed to the quiet.

TV in the background can actually make it so that the steady stream of noise makes noise itself less jarring.

I've always been more productive when I have some background noise.

Why can't people just accept that different people function better under different circumstances.

As an aside, I've found that often people have the TV on and pretend to watch it when they *don't* want to talk to people. It's possible that OP's inlaws/family doesn't have much in common with her and doesn't want to make small talk. The TV is a nice way to avoid that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

This thread is about FAMILY gatherings, so what would apply here does not translate into what you would do at a different sort of dinner party. My family and friends often watch TV together at casual gatherings. For award shows, we discuss outfits, speeches, red carpet, etc. For TV shows, we discuss theories on "who dun it" and/or what just happened. Or we'll watch game shows and try to guess the answers. Watching TV is not always an "eyes straight ahead thing" but can be an interactive experience as well.

If you're 35 or younger, I could see that. I have good friends I see only once or twice a month and our time together to catch up on each other's lives is too precious to waste over a TV.

I hope I never lose my enjoyment of lively and fun things. And almost all of my very close friends and family are nearby, so we get together and communicate with one another often, so there's no "cram everything into this visit" feel to our gatherings.

Many people would not categorize tv viewing in the " lively" category.

While definitely not the only sort of lively entertainment, it qualifies. I posted earlier in the thread with some examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has reinforced my belief that the tv-on-at-all-times-no-matter-what-the-situation crowd has some severe social issues. I like TV - I watch quite a bit when DC is napping or asleep at night, because I can do a lot of housework or crafts. But I do not have it one when I have guests. That's rude rude, rude and completely disregards the comfort of one's guests.

No one is in this crowd on this thread. Are you able to contribute without exaggeration?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We usually have the TV on as background noise. We have lots of lively conversations and certainly no one ignores anyone. Doesn't sound normal to me.

Why do you feel like you need background noise? If no one is watching it, why don't you turn it off? I genuinely would like to know.

I too hate having the television on and cannot fathom why anyone would want it on as background noise, especially when there's company over. I find it difficult to understand conversation if there's television on in the background, and the commercials, lights, and noise just generally annoying me and sometimes give me a headache.

I grew up in a family where we were only allowed to watch television a couple hours a week. My sibling married someone who has TV on all the time, is very bossy, and it really annoys the hell out of most of us.

I would encourage those who have company over to turn the TV off unless there's something very specific everyone wants to watch.

Maybe we're not as easily distracted as you? Having a TV on makes any lulls in the conversation or quiet moments less awkward. Plus, often it's some sort of educational/history program and it helps bring up a new topic to discuss. I would encourage those that do not like having the TV on, to turn it off if they have company. The rest of us can decide on our own how to handle it, thanks!

Pp here. I should have added, I have poor hearing and my mother wears a hearing aid. My in law could care less that having the tv on means my mother can't hear the convo. He'd rather hear the tv. And he wonders why we don't want to do holidays at his house....

OH my gosh, we had a similar situation one time with my MIL (who is addicted to TV and must have it on at all times). We were at HER IL's nursing home, and great-grandfather-in-law and we were trying to have a conversation. Well, MIL wanted to have a sports game on in the background and kept trying to turn it up but GGFIL, who was hard of hearing, was growing more and more irritated b/c he could not really hear what people were saying over the TV. Well, he finally EXPLODED and MIL was TOTALLY shocked and could NOT understand why hard-of-hearing GGFIL would be "so hard" on "poor little her' when all she was doing was try to hear the sports game. *I,* HER DIL, thought she had been really rude to not understand that an older person (in whose home we were) can maybe not hear very well and was growing irritated with the volume. Even I had been able to see that, and I had only been in the family for a few years! I felt so badly for GGFIL and thought MIL behaved completely horribly. OF course I kept ALL of this to myself, b/c it wasn't my place or business, but whew, this is what I am talking about when I say that tv people can be soooo rude and not realize how distracting or irritating it can be to others who are merely trying to have a social conversation, which is (presumably) what getting together is all about! You do NOT always need your little "crutch" of a television on when people are trying to visit!!!

What do you do with your free time not spent watching TV? I'm guessing not reading or brushing up on your writing skills?

People who watch too much TV much not have a long attention span, nor the ability to read and comprehend what they are reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

I like people with whom I am conversing to give me their uninterrupted attention. Come to think of it, that's why I prefer adults only parties as well, so people aren't distracted by their kids either.

Ah, so you're emotionally needy? Got it.

It's emotionally needy to want someone's attention during a conversation? Are you one of those who texts while you're out to lunch with a friend? I don't go for that either.

Nope, but the idea that you don't want kids around so that someone can fully focus on your hammertoe crisis? Over the top and very needy.

What in the HECK are you talking about? (?) I am worried about you.