Vent: Annoyed that Grandmother's House = too much TV
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Anonymous
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Why do some families think it's ok to just park themselves around the TV over holidays? The TV was on the WHOLE TIME, and not only was it on the whole time, but most of the adults were around the TV, just staring at it and not talking. And this wasn't football at all. It was just random stuff.
I would understand if we saw each other all the time, sometimes people just want to veg, I get it. But when we barely see our extended family (like 1 time per year), it really bothers me that they just use the TV for entertainment, they don't even try to talk to us, who they hardly see. It just makes me sad. We were invited to my MIL's house the weekend before Thanksgiving (they couldn't meet for Thanksgiving). DH's sister and BIL and all of their kids were invited, too. Attempts at engaging MIL and SIL in coversation were like this: Me: What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Them: Just visiting so-and-so's house. <Then their faces turn back to the glow of the TV and they drop the conversation.> My kids surprised me and complained about it to me afterwards. They were playing with their cousins, and every few minutes the cousins would stop and watch the TV, then need to be asked to play again. And the teens -- forget about them, they just stayed on their Iphones or just talked amongst themselves. Does this annoy anyone else? Is this just "normal"? When I was growing up, my parents never had the TV on around guests. |
Anonymous
| You just described my IL's house to a T. They have multiple TVs on ALL THE TIME in different rooms and it drives me bananas. It's the constant din in the background too, like sports announcers, cheering, etc. which is so super-loud. I constantly wish we could turn it off. But no everyone is parked in the LZ Boys, wrapped up in afghans, usually eating something, and watching whatever nonsense is on TV. |
Anonymous
| We usually have the TV on as background noise. We have lots of lively conversations and certainly no one ignores anyone. Doesn't sound normal to me. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Some people are TV people. When I was growing up, my family was like this. My sister and brother both still live like this. I don't. We don't even have a TV in the main entertaining areas of our home. We do have a TV down in the rec room.
I wouldn't take it personally. It is just all they are capable of doing. |
Anonymous
Why do you feel like you need background noise? If no one is watching it, why don't you turn it off? I genuinely would like to know. |
Anonymous
| We have no TV (I know, I know, let the nitpicking begin) so when we go to peoples' houses like this, it REALLY jumps out at me and I notice it. If you are not used to that much sound, it gets on your nerves. The constant auditory assault is a lot and can feel overwhelming. If you are talking, why not turn off the tv and talk? If you are not watching anything in particular, why not turn it off, unless you purposefully turn it on to watch something in particular, of course. |
Anonymous
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this is my parents house. I hate it.
Just be thankful it is not at your house, it is not your spouse doing it, and that you can leave at the end of the trip. TV people will have no idea that what they are doing is obnoxious. |
Anonymous
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eh, usuallly it doesn't bug me. I just assume they are trying to veg out/not have to think/relieve stress on long awaited day off....Just turn off your own tv if you don't like it.
It only bothers me when we have other peoples kids over who aren't used to tv... they cannot stop staring and don't hear a word you say. Mouths hanging open. THEN we have to turn off the tv. |
Anonymous
That is b/c we do one thing at a time: when we are watching TV, we watch TV. When we are talking, we turn off the TV and talk. There is no need for background noise just for the heck of it if you'd prefer to do something else. If that is the case, news flash: turn off the TV! It's that simple. . . . |
Anonymous
| If they are empty nesters it is probably on so they don't have to talk to one another. And it is a habit. |
Anonymous
So, so strange. So, in effect, you are saying: you have TV on a lot, b/c you want to anesthetize your children to the effects of TV, so that you can have it on, while they are busy doing something else, b/c they just ignore it. 
Sorry, but yo no comprendo. |
Anonymous
This happens with a lot of old people, I have found. |
Anonymous
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We're a TV house. So are most of the folks we are around. When we have company over, it's usually very casual and sometimes we'll even pick out a movie or TV show to watch together.
Strangely enough, the younger kids usually don't watch TV during these gatherings. They either play with toys, hang out and/or play video games. |
Anonymous
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This is how many families are. They don't mean to be rude. They're just used to the glow and the buzz. It gives me a headache - I can either attentively watch a show I genuinely like or I can have a conversation. I can't do both.
Next time, just say "hey, I'm going for a walk around the block. Anyone want to join?" You might be surprised that some of the teenagers join you. My family gatherings always had a Disney movie going for the little kids in one room, board games at the table for older kids and adults, and then some group would always break off to go for a walk or run an errand and get some fresh air. Then there were the rotating nap stations - just introduce some variety and see who bites. |