Vent: Annoyed that Grandmother's House = too much TV

[Anonymous]

This is my in-laws and I hate it. It's so loud, I don't like how distracted everyone is all the time, I especially hate having it on during meals, too. But it's who they are and they would sooner let me re-paint the living room a color I liked more than stop watching the damn tube. So I wander away to a quieter room. Or just to the bathroom (I know they think I have some sort of bladder or bowel problem).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We usually have the TV on as background noise. We have lots of lively conversations and certainly no one ignores anyone. Doesn't sound normal to me.

Why do you feel like you need background noise? If no one is watching it, why don't you turn it off? I genuinely would like to know.

I too hate having the television on and cannot fathom why anyone would want it on as background noise, especially when there's company over. I find it difficult to understand conversation if there's television on in the background, and the commercials, lights, and noise just generally annoying me and sometimes give me a headache.

I grew up in a family where we were only allowed to watch television a couple hours a week. My sibling married someone who has TV on all the time, is very bossy, and it really annoys the hell out of most of us.

I would encourage those who have company over to turn the TV off unless there's something very specific everyone wants to watch.

[Anonymous]

I wander into diff. rooms too or suggest a walk as well. Or I'll sit there and read a book or a magazine or my DH's ipad while everyone else is staring at the boob tube. I find some way to grasp at any sort of peaceful respite I can find amidst the din.

[Anonymous]

I think people who are used to it being on in the background truly do not notice how distracting and loud it can seem to those of us who do not live that way. But hopefully they can read on here and realize it!

[Anonymous]

My MIL watches "FOX NEWS" ALL DAY.

She comes to our house and we have an open layout, and she watches it all day and it dominates the room.

News is depressing, whether Fox or CSNBC. 10 hours of it and I'm ready to go nuts!

She has no filter; doesn't mute it during commercials--in our old house (where we had a room we parked her in) when it was the 10 year anniversary of 9/11, my kids got in there without me knowing, and my DD was flippin' TRAUMATIZED by the footage and had to sleep with the light on/door open for months afterwards

So she watches the same damn news hour after hour. After 10 hours, she's heard the same stories 10 times. But if you ask her, "so what happened with the tornado?" she says, "huh? oh, I don't know." GRRRR

We all hid in a back room this Thanksgiving and my FIL just ranted about how the TV has ruined American life, and he never spends time in the den at his house anymore because he can't stand it. But he turns the stupid box on for her...

[Anonymous]

I also hate how two things in particular always seem to be louder than most everything else on TV:

1) commercials -- it seems like the up the volume when it switches over to commercials from the regular show

2) sports -- the din of the crowd and the raucuousness of the men's announcer voices (and their joshing back and forth, teasing each other, etc.) really can grate on me after a while if I am trying to concentrate on something else, listen to what people are saying, be social, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL watches "FOX NEWS" ALL DAY.

She comes to our house and we have an open layout, and she watches it all day and it dominates the room.

News is depressing, whether Fox or CSNBC. 10 hours of it and I'm ready to go nuts!

She has no filter; doesn't mute it during commercials--in our old house (where we had a room we parked her in) when it was the 10 year anniversary of 9/11, my kids got in there without me knowing, and my DD was flippin' TRAUMATIZED by the footage and had to sleep with the light on/door open for months afterwards

So she watches the same damn news hour after hour. After 10 hours, she's heard the same stories 10 times. But if you ask her, "so what happened with the tornado?" she says, "huh? oh, I don't know." GRRRR

We all hid in a back room this Thanksgiving and my FIL just ranted about how the TV has ruined American life, and he never spends time in the den at his house anymore because he can't stand it. But he turns the stupid box on for her...

Oh wow! This sounds awful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We usually have the TV on as background noise. We have lots of lively conversations and certainly no one ignores anyone. Doesn't sound normal to me.

Why do you feel like you need background noise? If no one is watching it, why don't you turn it off? I genuinely would like to know.

I too hate having the television on and cannot fathom why anyone would want it on as background noise, especially when there's company over. I find it difficult to understand conversation if there's television on in the background, and the commercials, lights, and noise just generally annoying me and sometimes give me a headache.

I grew up in a family where we were only allowed to watch television a couple hours a week. My sibling married someone who has TV on all the time, is very bossy, and it really annoys the hell out of most of us.

I would encourage those who have company over to turn the TV off unless there's something very specific everyone wants to watch.

Maybe we're not as easily distracted as you? Having a TV on makes any lulls in the conversation or quiet moments less awkward. Plus, often it's some sort of educational/history program and it helps bring up a new topic to discuss. I would encourage those that do not like having the TV on, to turn it off if they have company. The rest of us can decide on our own how to handle it, thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We usually have the TV on as background noise. We have lots of lively conversations and certainly no one ignores anyone. Doesn't sound normal to me.

Why do you feel like you need background noise? If no one is watching it, why don't you turn it off? I genuinely would like to know.

I too hate having the television on and cannot fathom why anyone would want it on as background noise, especially when there's company over. I find it difficult to understand conversation if there's television on in the background, and the commercials, lights, and noise just generally annoying me and sometimes give me a headache.

I grew up in a family where we were only allowed to watch television a couple hours a week. My sibling married someone who has TV on all the time, is very bossy, and it really annoys the hell out of most of us.

I would encourage those who have company over to turn the TV off unless there's something very specific everyone wants to watch.

Maybe we're not as easily distracted as you? Having a TV on makes any lulls in the conversation or quiet moments less awkward. Plus, often it's some sort of educational/history program and it helps bring up a new topic to discuss. I would encourage those that do not like having the TV on, to turn it off if they have company. The rest of us can decide on our own how to handle it, thanks!

If it's an educational or history show, that does not sound too bad to me. These don't tend to be overly loud or interruptive, but more quiet and cerebral. I would not find this distracting and I agree it would be helpful to fill lulls in conversation, or even add new conversational fodder.

Unfortunately, it is not usually these types of shows, I have found. Usually, it is around-the-clock news coverage (as someone mentioned: Fox, etc.) or sports. With loud commercials interjected in between.

But something without loud commercials and something that is educational/history, I'd be ok with that, if not too loud.

[Anonymous]

So weird how others think they can dictate how others choose to live their lives. So because you don't have a TV at home (or don't like the noise for whatever reason) everyone should shut theirs off when you come over? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So weird how others think they can dictate how others choose to live their lives. So because you don't have a TV at home (or don't like the noise for whatever reason) everyone should shut theirs off when you come over? Really?

Not dictating. Just letting you know why we hate going to your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:eh, usuallly it doesn't bug me. I just assume they are trying to veg out/not have to think/relieve stress on long awaited day off....Just turn off your own tv if you don't like it.

It only bothers me when we have other peoples kids over who aren't used to tv... they cannot stop staring and don't hear a word you say. Mouths hanging open. THEN we have to turn off the tv.

So, so strange. So, in effect, you are saying: you have TV on a lot, b/c you want to anesthetize your children to the effects of TV, so that you can have it on, while they are busy doing something else, b/c they just ignore it.



Sorry, but yo no comprendo.

Bad comprehension! You should watch more tv! No I'm not saying that. I'm saying we watch TV a lot because we watch shows a lot and also talk about the show we are watching. I would never just have a tv on if no one is watching because that's a waste of hydro. But if a couple people are watching (at a normal decibel level) that's fine. People can start their side conversations around it. Honestly, we have cc up a lot so we can turn the sound down and read the captions and talk without missing dialogue. We also have DVR so we can rewind live tv. Did I mention we love tv?

I also don't agree w the pp who states that a person can only do one thing at a time. That is scary and is not realistic life. I work in health care and I wouldn't have a job if I could only do one thing at a time. I also believe that is part of how kids learn to filter. If having a tv on a background is 'too sensory' for them then they'll have a long road ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So weird how others think they can dictate how others choose to live their lives. So because you don't have a TV at home (or don't like the noise for whatever reason) everyone should shut theirs off when you come over? Really?

Living their lives is one thing, but OP's post was about family visiting. For many people, TV interferes with connecting with loved ones--and having a TV on all the time can seem like an attempt to avoid making those connections.

While people accustomed to having TV on in the background may feel that they multitask very well, that claim probably isn't a valid one, given actual scientific research on the effect of TV on people. Those without TV on all the time may be able to see this better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I also don't agree w the pp who states that a person can only do one thing at a time. That is scary and is not realistic life. I work in health care and I wouldn't have a job if I could only do one thing at a time. I also believe that is part of how kids learn to filter. If having a tv on a background is 'too sensory' for them then they'll have a long road ahead.

So you're well aware then of the literature surrounding interruptions/multitasking and medical error?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So weird how others think they can dictate how others choose to live their lives. So because you don't have a TV at home (or don't like the noise for whatever reason) everyone should shut theirs off when you come over? Really?

Not dictating. Just letting you know why we hate going to your house.

+1