Vent: Annoyed that Grandmother's House = too much TV

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

The deficiency lies with the pro-TV crowd, who need it like a crutch, who say it fills gaps in conversation, who need it on in the background even when no one is watching it. It is like their little social "security blanket" -- and their outcry that others may actually view it as a nuisance proves how badly they are addicted to it.

You anti-TV folks are really weird. I'm not sure where you get the idea that folks who watch TV are addicted. Your need to eliminate TV from your lives gives it more importance than it really has in reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So weird how others think they can dictate how others choose to live their lives. So because you don't have a TV at home (or don't like the noise for whatever reason) everyone should shut theirs off when you come over? Really?

Living their lives is one thing, but OP's post was about family visiting. For many people, TV interferes with connecting with loved ones--and having a TV on all the time can seem like an attempt to avoid making those connections.

While people accustomed to having TV on in the background may feel that they multitask very well, that claim probably isn't a valid one, given actual scientific research on the effect of TV on people. Those without TV on all the time may be able to see this better.

Huh? This makes zero sense and reeks of someone who doesn't have a TV at home (and thinks that those who do are stunted in some way). Many people connect over TV shows, movies, etc.

Many people cannot connect over TV. me for one.

Your shortcomings are not necessarily shared by others. And the world does not revolve around you and what makes you comfortable. In life, you sometimes have to step outside of your comfort zone. Handle it with grace, not disdain.

Ok. Will you come to my house if I won't let you turn the TV on?

Sure, but you'd better have a sparkling personality and plenty of wine on hand! I don't need a TV, but I do enjoy lively social gatherings. The quiet museum-like experience is not for me.

^^^Needs tv as a social crutch. ^^^

Nope, but I do enjoy a lively good time. And TV doesn't factor into that scenario at all. I'd much rather have music, fun games, great interesting talks, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

I like people with whom I am conversing to give me their uninterrupted attention. Come to think of it, that's why I prefer adults only parties as well, so people aren't distracted by their kids either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

I like people with whom I am conversing to give me their uninterrupted attention. Come to think of it, that's why I prefer adults only parties as well, so people aren't distracted by their kids either.

Ah, so you're emotionally needy? Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

The deficiency lies with the pro-TV crowd, who need it like a crutch, who say it fills gaps in conversation, who need it on in the background even when no one is watching it. It is like their little social "security blanket" -- and their outcry that others may actually view it as a nuisance proves how badly they are addicted to it.

You anti-TV folks are really weird. I'm not sure where you get the idea that folks who watch TV are addicted. Your need to eliminate TV from your lives gives it more importance than it really has in reality.

...says the person who likes the "background noise."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We usually have the TV on as background noise. We have lots of lively conversations and certainly no one ignores anyone. Doesn't sound normal to me.

Why do you feel like you need background noise? If no one is watching it, why don't you turn it off? I genuinely would like to know.

I too hate having the television on and cannot fathom why anyone would want it on as background noise, especially when there's company over. I find it difficult to understand conversation if there's television on in the background, and the commercials, lights, and noise just generally annoying me and sometimes give me a headache.

I grew up in a family where we were only allowed to watch television a couple hours a week. My sibling married someone who has TV on all the time, is very bossy, and it really annoys the hell out of most of us.

I would encourage those who have company over to turn the TV off unless there's something very specific everyone wants to watch.

Maybe we're not as easily distracted as you? Having a TV on makes any lulls in the conversation or quiet moments less awkward. Plus, often it's some sort of educational/history program and it helps bring up a new topic to discuss. I would encourage those that do not like having the TV on, to turn it off if they have company. The rest of us can decide on our own how to handle it, thanks!

Pp here. I should have added, I have poor hearing and my mother wears a hearing aid. My in law could care less that having the tv on means my mother can't hear the convo. He'd rather hear the tv. And he wonders why we don't want to do holidays at his house....

OH my gosh, we had a similar situation one time with my MIL (who is addicted to TV and must have it on at all times). We were at HER IL's nursing home, and great-grandfather-in-law and we were trying to have a conversation. Well, MIL wanted to have a sports game on in the background and kept trying to turn it up but GGFIL, who was hard of hearing, was growing more and more irritated b/c he could not really hear what people were saying over the TV. Well, he finally EXPLODED and MIL was TOTALLY shocked and could NOT understand why hard-of-hearing GGFIL would be "so hard" on "poor little her' when all she was doing was try to hear the sports game. *I,* HER DIL, thought she had been really rude to not understand that an older person (in whose home we were) can maybe not hear very well and was growing irritated with the volume. Even I had been able to see that, and I had only been in the family for a few years! I felt so badly for GGFIL and thought MIL behaved completely horribly. OF course I kept ALL of this to myself, b/c it wasn't my place or business, but whew, this is what I am talking about when I say that tv people can be soooo rude and not realize how distracting or irritating it can be to others who are merely trying to have a social conversation, which is (presumably) what getting together is all about! You do NOT always need your little "crutch" of a television on when people are trying to visit!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

The deficiency lies with the pro-TV crowd, who need it like a crutch, who say it fills gaps in conversation, who need it on in the background even when no one is watching it. It is like their little social "security blanket" -- and their outcry that others may actually view it as a nuisance proves how badly they are addicted to it.

You anti-TV folks are really weird. I'm not sure where you get the idea that folks who watch TV are addicted. Your need to eliminate TV from your lives gives it more importance than it really has in reality.

I don't like to talk to my friends over the TV noise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

I like people with whom I am conversing to give me their uninterrupted attention. Come to think of it, that's why I prefer adults only parties as well, so people aren't distracted by their kids either.

Ah, so you're emotionally needy? Got it.

It's emotionally needy to want someone's attention during a conversation? Are you one of those who texts while you're out to lunch with a friend? I don't go for that either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

This thread is about FAMILY gatherings, so what would apply here does not translate into what you would do at a different sort of dinner party. My family and friends often watch TV together at casual gatherings. For award shows, we discuss outfits, speeches, red carpet, etc. For TV shows, we discuss theories on "who dun it" and/or what just happened. Or we'll watch game shows and try to guess the answers. Watching TV is not always an "eyes straight ahead thing" but can be an interactive experience as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

Agree. Maybe bone up on some current events, entertainment news, jokes, etc.

We never have the tv on when we have guests, and our house is full of laughter and fun. If I traveled to a holiday where everyone sat in front of a tv, that would be my last at their house. I can't believe some people are so boring and devoid of original thought that they need the tv.

Totally agree!

[Anonymous]

I watch TV, when there's something I want to watch. I am not anti-TV.

I just don't like it on when I'm trying to have a conversation with people. I find it pretty hard to follow conversation when I am in a noisy bar or restaurant as well. I think a fair number of people have this problem.

One of the nice things about going over to someone's house, is it can be quiet and you can follow conversation. If I am spending time with my friends, it's because I want to spend time with them, talking, laughing, just generally catching up. Not to watch TV and commercials. We can do that when we are not together. I don't find that I need the television on an order to come up with things to talk about and I often find it difficult to hear people if there's a TV running in the background. So, if I go over someone's house for dinner or to hang out, if the television is on, that significantly detracts from my ability to enjoy the experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

The deficiency lies with the pro-TV crowd, who need it like a crutch, who say it fills gaps in conversation, who need it on in the background even when no one is watching it. It is like their little social "security blanket" -- and their outcry that others may actually view it as a nuisance proves how badly they are addicted to it.

You anti-TV folks are really weird. I'm not sure where you get the idea that folks who watch TV are addicted. Your need to eliminate TV from your lives gives it more importance than it really has in reality.

...says the person who likes the "background noise."

See, there's that irrationality again. I'm not that poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not anti-tv, but if you need a television on to connect with people, you probably need to work on your social skills.

That's not what is being said in this thread. Instead, folks are saying they CAN'T connect when the TV is on. Sounds like the deficiency is with the anti-TV folks.

The deficiency lies with the pro-TV crowd, who need it like a crutch, who say it fills gaps in conversation, who need it on in the background even when no one is watching it. It is like their little social "security blanket" -- and their outcry that others may actually view it as a nuisance proves how badly they are addicted to it.

You anti-TV folks are really weird. I'm not sure where you get the idea that folks who watch TV are addicted. Your need to eliminate TV from your lives gives it more importance than it really has in reality.

I don't like to talk to my friends over the TV noise.

Me neither. It's very annoying. Let's get together, you and I, and have a nice conversation, sans television!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We usually have the TV on as background noise. We have lots of lively conversations and certainly no one ignores anyone. Doesn't sound normal to me.

Why do you feel like you need background noise? If no one is watching it, why don't you turn it off? I genuinely would like to know.

I too hate having the television on and cannot fathom why anyone would want it on as background noise, especially when there's company over. I find it difficult to understand conversation if there's television on in the background, and the commercials, lights, and noise just generally annoying me and sometimes give me a headache.

I grew up in a family where we were only allowed to watch television a couple hours a week. My sibling married someone who has TV on all the time, is very bossy, and it really annoys the hell out of most of us.

I would encourage those who have company over to turn the TV off unless there's something very specific everyone wants to watch.

Maybe we're not as easily distracted as you? Having a TV on makes any lulls in the conversation or quiet moments less awkward. Plus, often it's some sort of educational/history program and it helps bring up a new topic to discuss. I would encourage those that do not like having the TV on, to turn it off if they have company. The rest of us can decide on our own how to handle it, thanks!

Pp here. I should have added, I have poor hearing and my mother wears a hearing aid. My in law could care less that having the tv on means my mother can't hear the convo. He'd rather hear the tv. And he wonders why we don't want to do holidays at his house....

OH my gosh, we had a similar situation one time with my MIL (who is addicted to TV and must have it on at all times). We were at HER IL's nursing home, and great-grandfather-in-law and we were trying to have a conversation. Well, MIL wanted to have a sports game on in the background and kept trying to turn it up but GGFIL, who was hard of hearing, was growing more and more irritated b/c he could not really hear what people were saying over the TV. Well, he finally EXPLODED and MIL was TOTALLY shocked and could NOT understand why hard-of-hearing GGFIL would be "so hard" on "poor little her' when all she was doing was try to hear the sports game. *I,* HER DIL, thought she had been really rude to not understand that an older person (in whose home we were) can maybe not hear very well and was growing irritated with the volume. Even I had been able to see that, and I had only been in the family for a few years! I felt so badly for GGFIL and thought MIL behaved completely horribly. OF course I kept ALL of this to myself, b/c it wasn't my place or business, but whew, this is what I am talking about when I say that tv people can be soooo rude and not realize how distracting or irritating it can be to others who are merely trying to have a social conversation, which is (presumably) what getting together is all about! You do NOT always need your little "crutch" of a television on when people are trying to visit!!!

What do you do with your free time not spent watching TV? I'm guessing not reading or brushing up on your writing skills?