Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"But I'm really in it to know what my friends and family are reading and thinking. That, and news. Just this week, I learned of the arrival of a new baby, an engagement, and a long-ago friend moving to the DC area. "

How did you learn of these things before Facebook?

People sent mass emails. They don't do that anymore. They just put it on facebook. So the people who aren't on fb have to learn about it through word of mouth, which takes longer, and doesn't include pictures.

Or they talked. Too busy working and ferrying kids to activities to talk regularly to friends, even on the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But I'm really in it to know what my friends and family are reading and thinking. That, and news. Just this week, I learned of the arrival of a new baby, an engagement, and a long-ago friend moving to the DC area. "

How did you learn of these things before Facebook?[/quote

I posted earlier that my FB profile was killed off. I STILL hear from friends - good ones. Who in the fuck needs 500 "friends?" I don't care about some high school chum I haven't seen in 20 years. So what's the sense? It just clutters life with useless information. not my style

[Anonymous]

I had four roommates freshman year at GWU about a decade ago. For reasons I still dont understand, three of them bonded way more and left two of us in the dust. The three of them continued to room together throughout college and then continue to hang out frequently now in cross-country jaunts that seem really fun. It still hurts to see their facebook posts continue on, signifying their strong friendship. And to feel really flawed that somehow I was not good enough to be a part of that.

[Anonymous]

^^ hugs!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had four roommates freshman year at GWU about a decade ago. For reasons I still dont understand, three of them bonded way more and left two of us in the dust. The three of them continued to room together throughout college and then continue to hang out frequently now in cross-country jaunts that seem really fun. It still hurts to see their facebook posts continue on, signifying their strong friendship. And to feel really flawed that somehow I was not good enough to be a part of that.

Why don't the two of you defriend those assholes and start having fun together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had four roommates freshman year at GWU about a decade ago. For reasons I still dont understand, three of them bonded way more and left two of us in the dust. The three of them continued to room together throughout college and then continue to hang out frequently now in cross-country jaunts that seem really fun. It still hurts to see their facebook posts continue on, signifying their strong friendship. And to feel really flawed that somehow I was not good enough to be a part of that.

I know how you feel due to a similar situation. Sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop. "

What are we missing?

Parties, milestone event, gossip.

Including parties that you were not invited to, that you find out about after the event and feel hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop. "

What are we missing?

Parties, milestone event, gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"But I'm really in it to know what my friends and family are reading and thinking. That, and news. Just this week, I learned of the arrival of a new baby, an engagement, and a long-ago friend moving to the DC area. "

How did you learn of these things before Facebook?[/quote

I posted earlier that my FB profile was killed off. I STILL hear from friends - good ones. Who in the fuck needs 500 "friends?" I don't care about some high school chum I haven't seen in 20 years. So what's the sense? It just clutters life with useless information. not my style

Ditto. Scanning FBtakes up more time than a quick chat on the phone with a real friend. No FB, no hurt feelings from THAT source.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had four roommates freshman year at GWU about a decade ago. For reasons I still dont understand, three of them bonded way more and left two of us in the dust. The three of them continued to room together throughout college and then continue to hang out frequently now in cross-country jaunts that seem really fun. It still hurts to see their facebook posts continue on, signifying their strong friendship. And to feel really flawed that somehow I was not good enough to be a part of that.

Don't feel bad. Not everyone clicks with one another. Maybe you and the other roommate who was left out were too good for them.

[Anonymous]

I get annoyed when I see family members posting all over my sister's pics about how beautiful the kids look, how much they miss them, love you love you love you crap. Then when I occasionally post pics of my kids: radio silence.

Another thing that bother me: my sister in law has hated me for years - openly talking to anyone and everyone about it. She is obese, lonely, and unhappy and has projected it onto me and DH in the worst way (others consistently tell me how sorry they feel for us about it and that I've done nothing wrong). On the rare occasion that I see her, that evening she always makes a post like, "The world doesn't revolve around you" or "Love the genuine people in my life. Makes the fake and selfish ones more tolerable." Worst part is that she does this knowing that, if anyone ever confronted her about it, she could deny that it was directed at me and my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everybody jumping all over the new girlfriend who posted FB pics of taking the kids out? It's the husband that looks bad for being such a non-involved dick during the marriage and then doing dad-stuff with the new girlfriend, but maybe the new girlfriend doesn't know how he behaved in his marriage. Maybe in her mind she's just trying to be active in the kids' lives and do activities with them when they're with her and the dad. The ex definitely comes off looking bad in that scenario, but the new girlfriend, although she unintentionally hurt the wife's feelings with the pictures, seems like she was just trying to be involved with the kids.

I know it's painful to see your children with your ex's new girlfriend or wife, but I always wonder, would you prefer the alternative of having the new woman hate them and resent their presence and never do anything with them? Your ex will eventually move on, so if it's with someone who appears to give even a tiny shit about the kids, I still think that's way better than the new girlfriend or wife who would rather pretend they don't exist.

I am the poster who had this happen to me. I have had the same thoughts about it that you articulate here. Putting myself in her shoes, I could see me doing this - before. Now that I have lived this, I hope I have learned NOT to do this - not to post pics of some other woman's babies all over FB. Granted she had the permission of their other parent. But knowing now how painful it was, I would not do the same in that situation. I'd wait until at least I had a relationship with the kids and/or ask the mom, if civility is possible.

i agree with you. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to think "hey, maybe it's poor form to post pics of someone else's kids, especially the kids of my boyfriend and his ex."

Agreed. The girlfriend is clearly insensitive at best. At worst, this is a passive-aggressive move to show off her newfound love, so much better than his ex-marriage (oh, poor him?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get annoyed when I see family members posting all over my sister's pics about how beautiful the kids look, how much they miss them, love you love you love you crap. Then when I occasionally post pics of my kids: radio silence.

Another thing that bother me: my sister in law has hated me for years - openly talking to anyone and everyone about it. She is obese, lonely, and unhappy and has projected it onto me and DH in the worst way (others consistently tell me how sorry they feel for us about it and that I've done nothing wrong). On the rare occasion that I see her, that evening she always makes a post like, "The world doesn't revolve around you" or "Love the genuine people in my life. Makes the fake and selfish ones more tolerable." Worst part is that she does this knowing that, if anyone ever confronted her about it, she could deny that it was directed at me and my husband.

At least you should hide her feed immediately. You don't want to be seeing that crap.

[Anonymous]

bump

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to say how sorry I was to the PP's whose ex (dick) went to the Kennedy Center with kids and new girlfriend and to the camping poster. Reading your posts, I can imagine how painful that was and I'm really sorry.