Annoying Constant Comparison - sorry loooooong...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - do you only respond to posts that agree with you? Are you only responding to your own fake "I totally agree with you" posts?

Your horrible grammar and writing style really give you away. Either that, or everyone who agrees with you doesn't know how to use commas. Hmmm...

If you read the post just above yours you'll see that your theory has failed.

[Anonymous]

What?!! The post where you say you will not respond???

[jsteele]

The original poster of this thread asked me to weigh in on whether she is sock puppeting. It does not appear that she is faking responses to herself. All of her posts originate from the same city, while responses originate from a variety of cities (but not her city). She would have to be traveling an awful lot to have pulled it off.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:The original poster of this thread asked me to weigh in on whether she is sock puppeting. It does not appear that she is faking responses to herself. All of her posts originate from the same city, while responses originate from a variety of cities (but not her city). She would have to be traveling an awful lot to have pulled it off.

Thanks Jeff,

I just hope they don't think I'm pretending to be you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What?!! The post where you say you will not respond???

Grow up! Just go back that same page you'll see more responses.

Don't you have anything more important to do right now?

[Anonymous]

This thread just needs to die. Any helpful replies are long gone, and OP seems hellbent on coming back for more punishment. Please, enough negativity already!

[Anonymous]

Chipotle Mom! You have laid claim to this OP. Can you reflect on this thread today. How is your DD's condition? Do you still see friend? Did the comparisons continue? Is your DD still advanced at drinking from a cup?

Thank you for owning up to this OP, Chipotle Lady. I love that you always fess.

[Anonymous]

Chipotle mom, I don't know whether this is helpful, or your style, but it worked for me.

The issue is not how the children may be different, it's the act of comparison, which usually comes from free-floating anxiety. Unless you are with a parent genuinely concerned that there may be something wrong with her baby, and you sense she wants encouragement to check with her doctor, the conversation really needs to be shut down. It's just not healthy for anyone when parents compare children in a competitive fashion.

I love babies and find them fascinating people, so it's not hard to show appreciation for the other child. It's hard to be competitive with someone who is already delighting in your child.

I might say something about how fascinating it is that children develop so differently, and that I love seeing over time how a child's true gifts emerge.

And if the person persists, I say, very warmly, that comparisons are odious, and it is just too exciting to see what the child *is* to worry about what the child may not be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chipotle mom, I don't know whether this is helpful, or your style, but it worked for me.

The issue is not how the children may be different, it's the act of comparison, which usually comes from free-floating anxiety. Unless you are with a parent genuinely concerned that there may be something wrong with her baby, and you sense she wants encouragement to check with her doctor, the conversation really needs to be shut down. It's just not healthy for anyone when parents compare children in a competitive fashion.

I love babies and find them fascinating people, so it's not hard to show appreciation for the other child. It's hard to be competitive with someone who is already delighting in your child.

I might say something about how fascinating it is that children develop so differently, and that I love seeing over time how a child's true gifts emerge.

And if the person persists, I say, very warmly, that comparisons are odious, and it is just too exciting to see what the child *is* to worry about what the child may not be.

OP here. Thank you for weighing in. This is beautiful!

I have another child now and it's amazing to see how differently they develop. You're absolutely right. I love watching him doing his thing and watching movies from when DD was his age and seeing how different they are in so many ways but still they can be doing one thing or the other exactly like each other.

To the curious PP:

While DD is doing well she's still behind her peers in some skills but she has graduated from Physical Therapy and is ready to start school. She's enrolled in a small Montessori program based in a church in our neighborhood. If you're a DCUM addict you'll see that they called me out in other threads where I talk about her starting school soon, etc.

We ended up losing contact with the family because they moved away. The mom still emails me asking how DD is doing, what she's up to and telling us what her DD is up to. She also asks if DS is on track. I usually respond briefly with a happy tone and ask about her family too. Her daughter is doing fine and ahead in so many ways because she's still taller than everybody her age and speaks 2 languages. The emails are getting more spaced out and when I told her DD was starting school she asked me if she was going to a special needs class. I responded with a very short email, keeping up the happy tone and she didn't write back yet. They won't start their DD in school until K.

Anyway, I really appreciate your post, nice PP and I'm happy to inform you that I've adopted this way of thinking/responding even before I read your post. I guess the playdates with the families from Early Intervention taught me much more than I expected to learn from them.

As parents we should keep our minds open, there's always a chance to learn something new and we shouldn't miss them.

[Anonymous]

wow, I just started reading this thread today- (not realizing at first that the thread was over a year old) and it immediately sounded like Chipotle mom to me. The escalating, increasingly defensive responses are a dead give away- but I do appreciate that you keep responding unlike those who post messages and never return to the thread. It was great to read to the end of the thread and see it confirmed. What a recognizable "voice" you have, and what an ability to regularly antagonize other posters with your tone. Do you have trouble keeping friends in real life? I am genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow, I just started reading this thread today- (not realizing at first that the thread was over a year old) and it immediately sounded like Chipotle mom to me. The escalating, increasingly defensive responses are a dead give away- but I do appreciate that you keep responding unlike those who post messages and never return to the thread. It was great to read to the end of the thread and see it confirmed. What a recognizable "voice" you have, and what an ability to regularly antagonize other posters with your tone. Do you have trouble keeping friends in real life? I am genuinely curious.

+1

I think, OP, you almost seem to think the worst about every situation. It's like the whole world is against you. I feel very sorry for you I would hate to live feeling like everyone is against me.

[Anonymous]

To OP - I am late chiming in but this is a gross motor difficulty not a gross motor delay.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you live in the Hyattsville area? The combo of church-based Montessori and a local Chipotle is making me curious! (You don't have to answer, I don't want you to actually out yourself to people who might know you IRL.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you live in the Hyattsville area? The combo of church-based Montessori and a local Chipotle is making me curious! (You don't have to answer, I don't want you to actually out yourself to people who might know you IRL.)

No we don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To OP - I am late chiming in but this is a gross motor difficulty not a gross motor delay.

What's the difference? Do you mind explaining?