Reply to Annoying Constant Comparison

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[quote=Anonymous]Chipotle mom, I don't know whether this is helpful, or your style, but it worked for me.

The issue is not how the children may be different, it's the act of comparison, which usually comes from free-floating anxiety.  Unless you are with a parent genuinely concerned that there may be something wrong with her baby, and you sense she wants encouragement to check with her doctor, the conversation really needs to be shut down.  It's just not healthy for anyone when parents compare children in a competitive fashion.

I love babies and find them fascinating people, so it's not hard to show appreciation for the other child.  It's hard to be competitive with someone who is already delighting in your child.

I might say something about how fascinating it is that children develop so differently, and that I love seeing over time how a child's true gifts emerge.

And if the person persists, I say, very warmly, that comparisons are odious, and it is just too exciting to see what the child *is* to worry about what the child may not be.

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