Annoying Constant Comparison - sorry loooooong...

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the OP shopped around for the diagnosis she wanted to get services that were unnecessary. Hypontonia? And, what was the cause? It is almost always caused by CP. SPD is so over diagnosed right now. My DD had very similar issues as a baby. She never rolled over, but crab-crawled at 7 months, and walked at 11 months. She also one of the pickiest eaters. I would never claim her to have a neurological condition. My pediatrician was not concerned enough to do more than monitor. All is well.

Anyway, I have a cousin like this. She is much worse. It is borderline abusive how she drags her kids into the doctor's office all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP but you sound kind of troll-y and some of the posts in support sound kinda sock-puppet-y. It's your odd grammatical style that throws up a red flag for me.

Feel free to ask Jeff where the posts are coming from. Hit the report button and he'll be more than happy to chime in to let you know we're not the same people.

Yes, because clearly you can't post from different computers. This response makes it even clearer that you are totally sock puppeting and just think you have it all figured out. That's fine, but I hope it doesn't stop you from actually listening to some of what PPs have had to say. I don't care if your kid is delayed or not or what that means, but you really need to learn not to compare your kids to other people's all the time, or you're going to have a very hard time keeping any mom friends.

OP here and I don't really get what you said in the beginning... I'm not in DC area and you can ask Jeff he'll let you know what posts are coming from my IP. How can this mean that I'm sock puppeting?

I've apologized and recognized my attitude needs adjustment. What else do you want me to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the OP shopped around for the diagnosis she wanted to get services that were unnecessary. Hypontonia? And, what was the cause? It is almost always caused by CP. SPD is so over diagnosed right now. My DD had very similar issues as a baby. She never rolled over, but crab-crawled at 7 months, and walked at 11 months. She also one of the pickiest eaters. I would never claim her to have a neurological condition. My pediatrician was not concerned enough to do more than monitor. All is well.

Anyway, I have a cousin like this. She is much worse. It is borderline abusive how she drags her kids into the doctor's office all the time.

OMG. OP here and now you're accusing me of MBPS??? I'm laughing out loud!

The pediatrician who dismissed my concerns said DD would catch up but the new Ped actually told me that the longer we kept her the longer it would take for her to catch up. She sent us to a neurologist to make sure about DD's DX and the EEG confirmed her suspicions.

DD has apnea episodes and the dismissive Ped said there was nothing she could do unless she saw DD with blue lips in the office. That night DD had an episode and her first seizure. That's when we decided to get another doctor.

Are you against asking for second opinions???

[Anonymous]

I've learned never to say never, but this thread has me terribly close to saying I'll never visit DCUM again. The posts against OP are vicious (at worst) and unsympathetic (at best). They are also clearly uninformed in many cases. The mom who says to post on the SN forum has it right -- my DC is not SN but DN (niece or nephew) is; the children are five months apart, and the absolutely heartbreaking challenges that confront everyone involved are real. It is heartbreaking for me to watch some of the pain my SIL and brother go through, even as it is triumphant when we celebrate my DN's many, many successes. And in an extraordinarily selfish move that will get me flamed right out of here, it is on occasion very hard for DH and for me when we cannot describe our DC's milestones to my parents or my brother and SIL because everything is compared to my DN and we end up feeling guilty (and yes, my mother is deliberately and admittedly letting us know that we should feel sorry for my DN and not discuss DC). It is hard for my SIL and my brother to gauge what to discuss and praise both for their child and for ours and for their older children, too. It is far, far from easy to navigate the world of SN, and posters like many here make that navigation even harder. That said, the saddest part of all is that OP is only beginning to confront some of the lack of understanding that may meet her for much of her parenting and some of her DC's life. I'm sorry she had to confront it online, but perhaps it is easier in an anonymous forum in which she can at least turn off the computer or not read if she prefers.

Sorry -- I'm going to come across as sanctimonious -- but it surely would have been nice if some of the previous posters had read their posts carefully -- very carefully -- before hitting "submit."

Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the OP shopped around for the diagnosis she wanted to get services that were unnecessary. Hypontonia? And, what was the cause? It is almost always caused by CP. SPD is so over diagnosed right now. My DD had very similar issues as a baby. She never rolled over, but crab-crawled at 7 months, and walked at 11 months. She also one of the pickiest eaters. I would never claim her to have a neurological condition. My pediatrician was not concerned enough to do more than monitor. All is well.

Anyway, I have a cousin like this. She is much worse. It is borderline abusive how she drags her kids into the doctor's office all the time.

17:45 again. Yet another person who knows very little beyond their own experience. There are many causes of hypotonia and CP is not the most common. Most frequently the cause is unknown but it is always a neurological condition. My two SN kids have it, as does my DH and so did one of my brothers. It is far more common than most people realize and, again, it comes in a wide range of severity. Even though it is a head-to-toe condition, it can be more apparent in some body parts than others. You are in no way qualified to diagnose a neurological condition and just because your pediatrician did nothing more than monitor your DD that doesn't mean OP's child is the same as yours. I would also like to see what research you found to indicate that SPD is diagnosed. As ignorant as you've shown yourself about hypotonia, I can't imagine your any kind of authority on SPD.

[Anonymous]

OP, while I did think your original post came off as a little self-congratulatory, I don't think you deserve the complete and total ASS-REAMING you've received at the hands of this forum. Ladies, please! All I can think is that many moms on here (myself included) have been in a position where their kid has been the less developed one, and it is a terrible feeling. And to have you list not one but three or four ways your DD was clearly more advanced than this other child just seemed a little unnecessary...you could have made your point with just one example. Your post just kind of smacks of someone who wanted to brag and disguised it in a "concern" posting. You should feel great at how well your DD is doing, but please realize there are many on here whose children are not doing as well, and it can be difficult to find sympathy in that case.

Another pp had a good point-the mom of the other child was probably (justifiably) freaked out that her DD is behind yours, and yours has delays. I know if I were in that position, I would be feeling very uneasy. You also said something that made me think perhaps you are SAH while this other mom is WOH, and that's whole other kettle...I'm sure she's thinking, well, if I had ALL DAY to work with my DD, she would be just as advanced (note: I'm not saying she is right in thinking this, but I would bet, based on your description, that she is indeed thinking it).

I'm glad you realized your behavior needs a little work, but there are posters on this thread whose behavior is far, far worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the OP shopped around for the diagnosis she wanted to get services that were unnecessary. Hypontonia? And, what was the cause? It is almost always caused by CP. SPD is so over diagnosed right now. My DD had very similar issues as a baby. She never rolled over, but crab-crawled at 7 months, and walked at 11 months. She also one of the pickiest eaters. I would never claim her to have a neurological condition. My pediatrician was not concerned enough to do more than monitor. All is well.

Anyway, I have a cousin like this. She is much worse. It is borderline abusive how she drags her kids into the doctor's office all the time.

17:45 again. Yet another person who knows very little beyond their own experience. There are many causes of hypotonia and CP is not the most common. Most frequently the cause is unknown but it is always a neurological condition. My two SN kids have it, as does my DH and so did one of my brothers. It is far more common than most people realize and, again, it comes in a wide range of severity. Even though it is a head-to-toe condition, it can be more apparent in some body parts than others. You are in no way qualified to diagnose a neurological condition and just because your pediatrician did nothing more than monitor your DD that doesn't mean OP's child is the same as yours. I would also like to see what research you found to indicate that SPD is diagnosed. As ignorant as you've shown yourself about hypotonia, I can't imagine your any kind of authority on SPD.

I'm sorry. You are right. I actually came back here because felt so guilty about that post. Everything that the OP has written has really set off my warning bells. But, I must remember this is just DCUM. I am really upset with my cousin and there is nothing I can do. My anger and ignorance it caused was intended for cousin, not OP, and should never have been submitted.

It has been a really bad day. I dropped my iPhone in a small pond reaching for a boat for my three-year-old. Im not so much upset about the cost to replace. I lost a small vacation's worth of pics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think the point is that you are the one doing the comparing. Your original post sounds more like a brag than a vent.

Agree completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, while I did think your original post came off as a little self-congratulatory, I don't think you deserve the complete and total ASS-REAMING you've received at the hands of this forum. Ladies, please! All I can think is that many moms on here (myself included) have been in a position where their kid has been the less developed one, and it is a terrible feeling. And to have you list not one but three or four ways your DD was clearly more advanced than this other child just seemed a little unnecessary...you could have made your point with just one example. Your post just kind of smacks of someone who wanted to brag and disguised it in a "concern" posting. You should feel great at how well your DD is doing, but please realize there are many on here whose children are not doing as well, and it can be difficult to find sympathy in that case.

Another pp had a good point-the mom of the other child was probably (justifiably) freaked out that her DD is behind yours, and yours has delays. I know if I were in that position, I would be feeling very uneasy. You also said something that made me think perhaps you are SAH while this other mom is WOH, and that's whole other kettle...I'm sure she's thinking, well, if I had ALL DAY to work with my DD, she would be just as advanced (note: I'm not saying she is right in thinking this, but I would bet, based on your description, that she is indeed thinking it).

I'm glad you realized your behavior needs a little work, but there are posters on this thread whose behavior is far, far worse.

This. Actually the entire thing, but especially this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm sorry. You are right. I actually came back here because felt so guilty about that post. Everything that the OP has written has really set off my warning bells. But, I must remember this is just DCUM. I am really upset with my cousin and there is nothing I can do. My anger and ignorance it caused was intended for cousin, not OP, and should never have been submitted.

It has been a really bad day. I dropped my iPhone in a small pond reaching for a boat for my three-year-old. Im not so much upset about the cost to replace. I lost a small vacation's worth of pics.

Wow, PP, I give you tons of credit for coming on here to post an apology! Sorry to hear you lost the pictures. Hope the rest of your week gets better.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're annoying as hell.

Likes attract likes.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP has been accused of being everything from self congratulatory to abusive to (heaven forbid- and this is my favorite)- having an "odd grammatical style". Would hate to be accused of that last one especially. OP, ignore the haters. Kuddos to the PP who seems like A decent human being and actually apologized. Sorry about your vacation photos PP- that really does suck.

[Anonymous]

Um, so this whole thing is about comparing a 15-month old with only 4 teeth, who can walk but not crawl to a 15-16 month old who cannot walk, self feed or eat textures, but has a full set of teeth for that age? Wow.

What part of the country are you from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, so this whole thing is about comparing a 15-month old with only 4 teeth, who can walk but not crawl to a 15-16 month old who cannot walk, self feed or eat textures, but has a full set of teeth for that age? Wow.

What part of the country are you from?

No. This is about a mother of a neurotypical child freaking out because her child is "behind" a SN child in a few aspects.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hate to say this, but after reading the whole thread, my advice is this: Do whatever you can to develop thicker skin so you can let these things roll off of you.

I certainly understand what you're saying about the other mother's comments and behavior. I would have been uncomfortable, too. But why get sucked in? This is about her -- not you. So why get so worked up about it? (Same goes for many of the PPs above. You seem to get sucked in to each and every nasty or critical post that comes your way. It's ok to walk away from a fight.)

One other idea: Try a little empathy. Rather than getting so worked up about this woman's comments and behavior, wouldn't it be healthier -- and easier -- to say to yourself, "Wow. She seems really stressed and anxious about her daughter's development. I know how that feels. It can be really tough!" And that's it. Let. It. Go.