Annoying Constant Comparison - sorry loooooong...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wow, I just started reading this thread today- (not realizing at first that the thread was over a year old) and it immediately sounded like Chipotle mom to me. The escalating, increasingly defensive responses are a dead give away- but I do appreciate that you keep responding unlike those who post messages and never return to the thread. It was great to read to the end of the thread and see it confirmed. What a recognizable "voice" you have, and what an ability to regularly antagonize other posters with your tone. Do you have trouble keeping friends in real life? I am genuinely curious.

+1

I think, OP, you almost seem to think the worst about every situation. It's like the whole world is against you. I feel very sorry for you I would hate to live feeling like everyone is against me.

Actually quite the opposite. I get much more people smiling at my kids and telling me how adorable they are than nut folks complaining because they moved in the stroller. I just don't take time to post about the good episodes of our lives I guess...

Anyway, I found difficulty making friends after having kids but because of busy or clashing of schedules (what I found out is pretty normal after reading so many threads of moms complaining about how difficult is to make "mom friends") not personality differences.

The good friends I have I made before I had kids and the friendships are still strong.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you OP.
The people on here are just plain awful.
I did not read your post as if you were bragging at all.
Problem with the people on here is that you can't explain yourself in such a way as to outline what the comparisons were without them feeling like you too are competitive. It is because they are insecure and feel competitive with you. Their children aren't doing these things. They feel bad, so they attack you.
don't mind them, they can't help their own smallness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you OP.
The people on here are just plain awful.
I did not read your post as if you were bragging at all.
Problem with the people on here is that you can't explain yourself in such a way as to outline what the comparisons were without them feeling like you too are competitive. It is because they are insecure and feel competitive with you. Their children aren't doing these things. They feel bad, so they attack you.
don't mind them, they can't help their own smallness

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I know your DD participated in EI for 6 months, but I would not let that sully her development. EI is notorious for over-diagnosing kids with "delays." If a remember correctly, your pediatrician was not concerned by your DD's lack of rolling over and not being able to crawl at six and nine months, correct? And, your DD did walk at a normal age? 15 months? That is normal, not delayed. Just keep that in mind.

As for your DD's sensory issues. I would not call that a neurological issue either. Again, from what you have described, she is normal. All toddlers have sensory issues. This SPD thing is really out of control. Everyone thinks their toddler has sensory issues.

I hope you can come to realize that you DD is perfect in the way she develops and stop pathologizing every little thing she doesn't do on schedule. You seem to have grown a lot since this thread. But, in your last post you are still comparing your DD to her peers and thinking she falls short. She is never going to be the fastest or the smartest when you compare her to her peers-- but that does not make her delayed.

[Anonymous]

What is the .Chipotle mom thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know your DD participated in EI for 6 months, but I would not let that sully her development. EI is notorious for over-diagnosing kids with "delays." If a remember correctly, your pediatrician was not concerned by your DD's lack of rolling over and not being able to crawl at six and nine months, correct? And, your DD did walk at a normal age? 15 months? That is normal, not delayed. Just keep that in mind.

As for your DD's sensory issues. I would not call that a neurological issue either. Again, from what you have described, she is normal. All toddlers have sensory issues. This SPD thing is really out of control. Everyone thinks their toddler has sensory issues.

I hope you can come to realize that you DD is perfect in the way she develops and stop pathologizing every little thing she doesn't do on schedule. You seem to have grown a lot since this thread. But, in your last post you are still comparing your DD to her peers and thinking she falls short. She is never going to be the fastest or the smartest when you compare her to her peers-- but that does not make her delayed.

Thank you for being nice on the way you said that. It's rare around here.

I'm pretty realistic, that's all. I know exactly where she's delayed, where she's average and where she's ahead. All I want is for her to be happy and I'll do everything I can to make this happen. The neurological condition is related to the sensory side, not the same thing. She was never diagnosed with SPD. She has her little toddler OCD thing that is completely normal and still trying to get over the low muscle tone so that's the area where she'll have to work a bit harder than other kids.

We were seeing by a doctor because her belly never went in (like toddlers have that huge belly that eventually gets smaller as they grow) and for an umbilical hernia. The doctor said that due to her low muscle tone her belly will be like that until she can work those abs. She gave us the option to have PT for it or just let her grow and see if she'll work on it by herself. She has pain in the hernia when she runs, laughs, cries or pushes to poop but the doctor said that once her abs get stronger the pain will go away. Our new pediatrician agreed with my concern without even knowing our story with the previous ped. She actually sent us to see the surgeon and talk about the hernia.

I agree that there's a lot of over diagnose around but I don't believe this is the case with my daughter. We're just keeping our eyes open and giving her opportunities to develop to her fullest. It's called EARLY intervention for a reason. The earlier the better.

[Anonymous]

*seen not seeing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you OP.
The people on here are just plain awful.
I did not read your post as if you were bragging at all.
Problem with the people on here is that you can't explain yourself in such a way as to outline what the comparisons were without them feeling like you too are competitive. It is because they are insecure and feel competitive with you. Their children aren't doing these things. They feel bad, so they attack you.
don't mind them, they can't help their own smallness

We're really not awful. We just call it as we see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you OP.
The people on here are just plain awful.
I did not read your post as if you were bragging at all.
Problem with the people on here is that you can't explain yourself in such a way as to outline what the comparisons were without them feeling like you too are competitive. It is because they are insecure and feel competitive with you. Their children aren't doing these things. They feel bad, so they attack you.
don't mind them, they can't help their own smallness

We're really not awful. We just call it as we see it.

Oh please. DCUM is known for such behavior. A bunch o raging bitches waiting for someone to bash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I won't mention the crawling because we're from a different school of thought so it's irrelevant here.

I have no idea what this means, but I'm sure it's hilarious.

OP here.

Some people believe crawling is a milestone others believe it's not. You can laugh it off now.

But how can you have a different school of thought when the poster you quoted didn't offer any opinion as to whether or not crawling is a milestone.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you OP.
The people on here are just plain awful.
I did not read your post as if you were bragging at all.
Problem with the people on here is that you can't explain yourself in such a way as to outline what the comparisons were without them feeling like you too are competitive. It is because they are insecure and feel competitive with you. Their children aren't doing these things. They feel bad, so they attack you.
don't mind them, they can't help their own smallness

[Anonymous]

To get back to the original issue-I've been involved in a lot of conversations like this, especially with other first time moms. It's not competitive, it's making conversation with people you don't know that well about the one topic you KNOW you have in common. With a sprinkle of reassurance seeking on top.