Neighbors seem to really hate us and we don't know why

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, Put deer tents over the roses.

I am one the PP who said not to confront--but a deer tent over plants and the highest tent you can afford are a good idea. Then just be courteous about the parking some people get very touchy about the street parking in front of their house. Yes it IS public property, but don't be a jack*ss about it and repeatedly cross the line or even park directly in front of their house if you don't have to--this isn't Georgetown or Adams Morgan where spaces are rare as hen's teeth (there's a fogey expression for you!) go along to get along--it's not worth the war.

This is ridiculous. People have no right whatsoever to claim their curbside, and if they do they should be punished for it.

I'd buy a POS on Craigslist and park it square in front of their house and leave it there forever or until they stopped being pricks. This one looks good - $100

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/cto/2450881885.html

PP: you really if the other neighbor is as unreasonable as you are this could go on indefinitely. Are you even a homeowner? Because when you have a personal stake in your surroundings you just don't think this way...people can become almost psychotic when they feel threatened --however unreasonably--in their home. Think about your dc's personal safety and having a generally happy home environment. It takes a lot of negative energy to wage the sort of battle PP is describing, why would you want to foster that? And btw, bette make sure all your taxes are paid up and everything is up to code every second OP, a crazy neighbor could slow your life down to a slow grind through hell--all over a few transgressions. Forgive your trespasses as you forgive those who trespass against you. Words to live by, really. And I'm a Quake-apalian so no fanatic, here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Old people are the WORST neighbors. No advice, sorry, just commiserating because we lived across the street from seriously annoying old people once.

Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for the parking, no, it doesn't make sense -- it's not about making sense. Plenty of people feel territorial about parking in front of their house, even though it is public property. PP's can be as incredulous at that phenomenon as they wanna be, but that's just part of human nature, left over from our animal brains.

Please. If it was "part of human nature" we'd all have it. Since it appears that only a few lunatics feel this way, it's actually a self-entitled, unattractive part of their natures.

Yes, it is unattractive but there nonetheless and more than a few lunatics feel that way. If you haven't lived in a neighborhood where there is abundant parking then you can't speak to the phenomenon and it's not helping OP to pretend her neighbors are acting unusual in not wanting people parking in front of their house on an admittedly public street, because it is not unusual at all, attractive or unattractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are old and don't like change. They have the we were here first and that's the way we have always done it thing going on. Next time they complain smile sweetly and tell them things have changed and maybe if they cant adjust it's time for them to move on

At first I thought this. Just old and doesn't like that the neighborhood is changing. But, they don't seem to treat our other neighbors this way. We are the only ones touching their property though. On the other side of him is a couple younger than them, but that has lived there for many years.

His comments seem to focus on me, so I really feel it's me they don't like. The only thing I can think of that they may have against me is that I work and have small children. Most of my neighbors are SAHMs and his wife was too.

Also, literally the first 10 mins we were at the house with keys in hand they came running over and asked if I was putting our DD in the local church-based preschool. I said no b/c it was a half-day preschool and I needed a full-day preschool since we both worked f/t. Then they asked us what religion we were. I joked that I wasn't sure. I was raised Catholic, but attended both Catholic, Lutheran, and public schools growing up. My DH was raised Episcopalian, but attended Lutheran and Presbyterian schools and then went to a Catholic college. We were then married in a baptist church by a Presbyterian minister. So, we are still working on figuring that out.

Wow. Ok. I didn't see this part of your post before, OP. Seriously, just f*ck these people. Asking you about your religion? F*ck these people.

[Anonymous]

OP, my grandmother is old and has lived in the same house forever. She goes apeshit whenever anyone parks in front of her house. Everyone in the family tells her to forget it, it's public space, why does she care, etc., etc., but she will rant on about it forever. Garbage can placement can also be a touchy subject. Sounds like your neighbors are just crotchety and you got some bad luck in drawing them as neighbors when you moved. I might write them a short note and drop it off with some baked item, but I wouldn't put a lot of energy into sucking up to them to try to figure out what's wrong. If you didn't do anything to them, then there's nothing you can do to "fix" the problem. Just cross your fingers that they'll be packing up for Florida soon.

[Anonymous]

You should check with your HOA to see what rules they have regarding additions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are old and don't like change. They have the we were here first and that's the way we have always done it thing going on. Next time they complain smile sweetly and tell them things have changed and maybe if they cant adjust it's time for them to move on

At first I thought this. Just old and doesn't like that the neighborhood is changing. But, they don't seem to treat our other neighbors this way. We are the only ones touching their property though. On the other side of him is a couple younger than them, but that has lived there for many years.

His comments seem to focus on me, so I really feel it's me they don't like. The only thing I can think of that they may have against me is that I work and have small children. Most of my neighbors are SAHMs and his wife was too.

Also, literally the first 10 mins we were at the house with keys in hand they came running over and asked if I was putting our DD in the local church-based preschool. I said no b/c it was a half-day preschool and I needed a full-day preschool since we both worked f/t. Then they asked us what religion we were. I joked that I wasn't sure. I was raised Catholic, but attended both Catholic, Lutheran, and public schools growing up. My DH was raised Episcopalian, but attended Lutheran and Presbyterian schools and then went to a Catholic college. We were then married in a baptist church by a Presbyterian minister. So, we are still working on figuring that out.

Wow. Ok. I didn't see this part of your post before, OP. Seriously, just f*ck these people. Asking you about your religion? F*ck these people.

um psycho much? lots of people ask new neighbors where they go to church. that is normal.

[Anonymous]

They need some magic brownies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are old and don't like change. They have the we were here first and that's the way we have always done it thing going on. Next time they complain smile sweetly and tell them things have changed and maybe if they cant adjust it's time for them to move on

At first I thought this. Just old and doesn't like that the neighborhood is changing. But, they don't seem to treat our other neighbors this way. We are the only ones touching their property though. On the other side of him is a couple younger than them, but that has lived there for many years.

His comments seem to focus on me, so I really feel it's me they don't like. The only thing I can think of that they may have against me is that I work and have small children. Most of my neighbors are SAHMs and his wife was too.

Also, literally the first 10 mins we were at the house with keys in hand they came running over and asked if I was putting our DD in the local church-based preschool. I said no b/c it was a half-day preschool and I needed a full-day preschool since we both worked f/t. Then they asked us what religion we were. I joked that I wasn't sure. I was raised Catholic, but attended both Catholic, Lutheran, and public schools growing up. My DH was raised Episcopalian, but attended Lutheran and Presbyterian schools and then went to a Catholic college. We were then married in a baptist church by a Presbyterian minister. So, we are still working on figuring that out.

Wow. Ok. I didn't see this part of your post before, OP. Seriously, just f*ck these people. Asking you about your religion? F*ck these people.

um psycho much? lots of people ask new neighbors where they go to church. that is normal.

No. This is the DC metro area. Not fricking SLC. People do not normally ask that question in a major metro area outside of the deep south or Utah. That is none your business. If a neighbor asked me this in AU park, I'd be incredulous. I could see asking someone to recommend a church to you--but religion is really on off limit topic with casual strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They need some magic brownies.

There you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are old and don't like change. They have the we were here first and that's the way we have always done it thing going on. Next time they complain smile sweetly and tell them things have changed and maybe if they cant adjust it's time for them to move on

At first I thought this. Just old and doesn't like that the neighborhood is changing. But, they don't seem to treat our other neighbors this way. We are the only ones touching their property though. On the other side of him is a couple younger than them, but that has lived there for many years.

His comments seem to focus on me, so I really feel it's me they don't like. The only thing I can think of that they may have against me is that I work and have small children. Most of my neighbors are SAHMs and his wife was too.

Also, literally the first 10 mins we were at the house with keys in hand they came running over and asked if I was putting our DD in the local church-based preschool. I said no b/c it was a half-day preschool and I needed a full-day preschool since we both worked f/t. Then they asked us what religion we were. I joked that I wasn't sure. I was raised Catholic, but attended both Catholic, Lutheran, and public schools growing up. My DH was raised Episcopalian, but attended Lutheran and Presbyterian schools and then went to a Catholic college. We were then married in a baptist church by a Presbyterian minister. So, we are still working on figuring that out.

Wow. Ok. I didn't see this part of your post before, OP. Seriously, just f*ck these people. Asking you about your religion? F*ck these people.

um psycho much? lots of people ask new neighbors where they go to church. that is normal.

No. This is the DC metro area. Not fricking SLC. People do not normally ask that question in a major metro area outside of the deep south or Utah. That is none your business. If a neighbor asked me this in AU park, I'd be incredulous. I could see asking someone to recommend a church to you--but religion is really on off limit topic with casual strangers.

these are not casual strangers, they are your NEIGHBORS. My neighbors know where I work, where I go to church, where I am from, my kids names, and in the course of getting to know me the first day, they very easily could have asked me where I went to church. It is conversation.

[Anonymous]

My mother has a neighbor who waits until the windiest day of the year and rakes his leaves down to the street and then drags them just beyond his property line into his neighbor's "sphere". The debris then blows all over everyone elses lawn. It's still the public street so he within his rights. He tears little clumps of weeds out of his lawn and does the same thing. My mother has observed this over the years. He is retired and is a real jerk and everyone just hates him. After 30 years, no one says anything about this. Neighbor relations have always been tense there though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are old and don't like change. They have the we were here first and that's the way we have always done it thing going on. Next time they complain smile sweetly and tell them things have changed and maybe if they cant adjust it's time for them to move on

At first I thought this. Just old and doesn't like that the neighborhood is changing. But, they don't seem to treat our other neighbors this way. We are the only ones touching their property though. On the other side of him is a couple younger than them, but that has lived there for many years.

His comments seem to focus on me, so I really feel it's me they don't like. The only thing I can think of that they may have against me is that I work and have small children. Most of my neighbors are SAHMs and his wife was too.

Also, literally the first 10 mins we were at the house with keys in hand they came running over and asked if I was putting our DD in the local church-based preschool. I said no b/c it was a half-day preschool and I needed a full-day preschool since we both worked f/t. Then they asked us what religion we were. I joked that I wasn't sure. I was raised Catholic, but attended both Catholic, Lutheran, and public schools growing up. My DH was raised Episcopalian, but attended Lutheran and Presbyterian schools and then went to a Catholic college. We were then married in a baptist church by a Presbyterian minister. So, we are still working on figuring that out.

Wow. Ok. I didn't see this part of your post before, OP. Seriously, just f*ck these people. Asking you about your religion? F*ck these people.

um psycho much? lots of people ask new neighbors where they go to church. that is normal.

No. This is the DC metro area. Not fricking SLC. People do not normally ask that question in a major metro area outside of the deep south or Utah. That is none your business. If a neighbor asked me this in AU park, I'd be incredulous. I could see asking someone to recommend a church to you--but religion is really on off limit topic with casual strangers.

these are not casual strangers, they are your NEIGHBORS. My neighbors know where I work, where I go to church, where I am from, my kids names, and in the course of getting to know me the first day, they very easily could have asked me where I went to church. It is conversation.

Where do you live? Arkansas?

[Anonymous]

On the first day?!!!!!!! No. That is a prying and presumptuous question to ask a new family. If they are jewish or muslim or atheist or baptist, it is not your place to ask them. If they want to bring it up--and I really doubt a person in a big city would so early on after moving in--they could. But you asking them what religion they are is completely weird.

[Anonymous]

For the record, my neighbors don't know where I go to church, nor have I ever been asked. I would be very suspicious of anyone who does ask. My religion, like my vote, is my business.

So, OP, my mother is this way. She lives in a duplex and for the first 10 years she was there, the other unit was rented to an older, single woman who was just like my mom. Mom was very happy. Then, about 5 years ago the woman moved and the unit has been rented to a series of people that my mom has more or less chased away with behavior like your neighbors. Mom just hates anyone who isn't a retired 70-something just like her. God forbid anyone should move in with a baby!

Look, there's nothing any of these people could have done to appease my mom. She is old and cranky and wants things her way (she's also nuts about cars parked in front of her unit and garbage cans, and she hates kids). The last tenant retaliated against my mom like some of the pps here suggested might happen, and he ended up shooting his bb gun (sp?) at her house. Mom went straight to the landlord and the police and guess who got evicted? Not her. There's no doubt in my mind though, that she goaded the guy until he lost his patience just so she'd have something real to report to the police. I realize your situation isn't a rental situation, but the point is that retaliation can backfire in ways you might never anticipate.

My best advice is to ignore them as best as you can and simply brush off their criticisms and comments with a non-committal "yeah, that sucks." Keep contact to a minimum. Definitely make sure the addition is 100% legal and warn the contractor about the neighbor. You're definitely going to get some backlash when that starts. It might not hurt to neutralize some of it in advance by sending a fruit basket or something that says "it's hard to be neighbors to a house that's under construction" (note: I'm purposely distancing the construction from your family, in particular, so as to diffuse and redirect responsibility away from you) and that you "appreciate their courtesy and tolerance during this difficult time for everyone." They know they've already been nowhere near courteous or tolerant, but will also get that you noticed. Plus, you'll look like the bigger person for responding to their nastiness with niceness, and they will only look like creeps for b*tching after you've already acknowledged the inconvenience. If they come after you once it starts, simply nod and smile and say it will be over soon.