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Neighbors seem to really hate us and we don't know why
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Anonymous
| They are grumpy and rude and have way too much time on their hands if they are able to examine your every move. We had elderly neighbors who complained about everything, kids were too loud in the yard, parking (our street is public), lights we left on, trimming of our bushes, music during a bbq, etc. They even called the police when they thought we needed a permit when we were rearranging flagstone in our yard. DH finally wrote them and said we would file a complaint if they didn't stop harassing us. It worked and except for the nasty glares, they leave us alone. |
Anonymous
| OP, I don't think you should bake them anything or have any type of conversation or confrontation; that would be fruitless and ruin any chance of things getting to normal on their own. Just be patient and let things settle down. Don't give in on the roses, but don't make a fuss in return. It's not about you or anything you are doing; it's just about some old people who will take some time to adjust to having new neighbors. You are stuck with them so play it safe now, while you can. |
Anonymous
| I think it's possible to move the rose bush. But that will prob. inflame things with the neighbors. |
Anonymous
|
Why would moving the rose bush inflame the neighbors?
I mean, it's not theirs or anything ... |
Anonymous
While I would maybe agree with this normally, I think (1) we don't know if a peace offering would be fruitless b/c OP hasn't tried one and (2) things are unlikely to improve and very likely to get worse b/c of the addition. I don't think it hurts to at least TRY a peace offering. Not sure why so many people are against it... |
Anonymous
|
Move the rose bush. Put a sprinkler near by and turn it on if you see them coming over to clip the flowers. That should send a pretty strong message.
Seriously though, I agree with PPs who say cookies are probably not the route to go. If it were me, I'd just do what I could within reason to steer clear of them. - move your trash cans to a different spot. Really, this isn't a big deal. - move your rose bush. It isn't theirs, and they already hate you anyway so what are you worried about? - Avoid parking in front of their house within reason. If you are having a lot of guests, they will have to suck it up. It is legal and they can't do anything about it. - With your renovation, make sure all yoru permits are in place. If they call to complain, you have nothing to worry about. If they call more than once, send your husband over there to ask them WTF their problem is. Usually passive aggresive people will crumble like a house of cards when confronted. |
Anonymous
| OP: you have every right to be upset. These folks don't have enough to do. No cookies, but I would knock on the door, tell them that you have workman coming during whatever hours and weeks for a new addition and you stopped by to let them know. I woud also make sure you had the property surveyed and put up a fence at the same time. If they can't see what's going on, then hopefully they will leave you alone. I am not fond of fences, but my mother put one up on the side of her lot because her neighbors were driving her crazy. It gave her some peace of mind. |
Anonymous
| What is a swail? |
Anonymous
|
If I were you, I would wait for the next time they complain about something. If it is reasonable, accept it, but still take this opportunity to ask either why they are finding so many things to complain about or just tell them you are feeling harrassed. If you continue to graciously "take it" they will continue. If you politely, but firmly, tell them that you would like to be friendly courteous neighbors, but you won't tolerate unnecessary complaints, that might take care of it. Also, next time the roses bloom - take a few over to them.
The addition thing is something else. You sound like a very reasonable person. I would let the neighbors know about the project, some details. You can let them know you have all proper permits. Let the contractor know you have a nosy neighbor as well - ask how he/she will deal with it. I would also say that you are instructing the workers to only park in certain areas, store items in certain areas, work from X to X, etc., and to feel free to let me know if something is wrong. |
Anonymous
| Yes OP take over some roses to them instead of letting them steal them? What a ridiculous suggestion pp. Doormat comes to mind... |
Anonymous
| Call the cops if they steal your roses again. |
Anonymous
I am one the PP who said not to confront--but a deer tent over plants and the highest tent you can afford are a good idea. Then just be courteous about the parking some people get very touchy about the street parking in front of their house. Yes it IS public property, but don't be a jack*ss about it and repeatedly cross the line or even park directly in front of their house if you don't have to--this isn't Georgetown or Adams Morgan where spaces are rare as hen's teeth (there's a fogey expression for you!) go along to get along--it's not worth the war. |
Anonymous
Lol. I was wondering this too! OP--this sounds like an archaic term... |
Anonymous
|
I have to agree about the parking in front of their house, OP. If anything sets neighbors off it is parking in front of their house. It has nothing to do with who "owns" the property. It has to do with boundaries and being an in-your-face asshole who thinks they own the street. Use your OWN space in front of your OWN house. If you know your neighbor does not like people on their lawn, simply don't. do. it. It is not a difficult concept. And it will buy you much peace.
I would not instigate ANY neighbor. You NEVER know who they know or how much they are willing to pay to see you go down. I have seen it. It will get ugly sooner rather than later, and you will wish you never started with them. Trust me. I have seen one or two neighbors REALLY surprised, to a point they could not afford to live in the neighborhood (emotionally or financially) any more. They had been in the neighborhood a long time and hoped their kids would get the house. They pissed off the wrong person, and a neighbor REALLY retaliated. I don't know how the other neighbors did it to them, but they did. But good. You don't want to go there. I totally agree with the PP who said get along to go along. You don't own the neighborhood! |
Anonymous
|
13:30, are you the poster that has written this story repeatedly on threads that address neighbor problems? Could you go into a few details please? Such as what the initial complaint was, and how the people you know ended up forced to leave the neighborhood?
Thanks. |