Neighbors seem to really hate us and we don't know why

[Anonymous]

Agree with others that it's highly inappropriate and unusual to be asked your religion by a neighbor, ever. Never mind first day you move in. Why don't we discuss politics and sex too? That way we can be sure to touch on all the possibly offensive topics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand the don't-park-in-front-of-my-house thing. Either you have a driveway so who the F cares what goes on at the curb, or you don't so you are used to the fact that you park wherever there is a spot. Our neighborhood is mixed (about half the houses have driveways) and our house faces two driveways and has a fire hydrant in front of it. So I have to park my car in front of someone else's house because the entire curb in front of my own is off-limits. (Yes, many people don't respect the law about not parking across from a driveway but I'm not interested in having my car hit by someone trying to back out and then having my insurance not cover the repairs because I was in the wrong.)

What state are you in, PP? I didn't know this was a law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your neighbor and my batty neighbor must be related. I don't suggest giving cookies because as someone mentioned I would not reward rudeness. Plus, if they got sick unrelated to the cookies they'd blame you.

Here's how I handled crazy wackadoo angry obsessive neighbor. I tried to be sweet as can be at first, but it just fed her fire. So after consulting with a lawyer friend, I sweetly informed this woman (and her apparently mute husband) that we want all communications in writing to make sure everything is clear. If they have any complaints or concerns we would be happy to review their written request, but we would no longer tolerate the yelling (yep, she yelled about the fact I had not weeded my garden in a few weeks), or the rude remarks because it was scaring our children. We also made it clear we want to keep harmony in the neighborhood. I followed up with a written summary of everything I stated. They have not bothered us once since. We give friendly "hellos" and that is it. They monitor their tone or should I say the wife does. The husband was never an issue, but he didn't shut her up either. Now if he had informed me she was mentally ill or something we would have been more understanding. She was very jeckly and hide-one day the sweet doting grandma type, the next day she was screaming angry over the fact we didn't bring in our trashcan fast enough when we got home.

You have a right to live in your neighborhood in peace. If there is an issue they can politely let you know. If you don't want them to touch your roses, politely ask them to stop and explain why.

This is very useful advice. I'm filing it away for the next time my crazy neighbor starts in on something. OP, it doesn't sound like you need this -- yet. But once your renovation gets started, these people might make your life a living hell, so stick with the "every complaint in writing" idea and things might not be as messy.

[Anonymous]

Playing devil's advocate here: With everything in writing, aren't you just ASKING FOR a lawsuit? I don't know that I would antagonize a neighbor by asking for paperwork. It sounds like a form of harassment. Who would you be getting your legal advice from? I would choose carefully! The neighbor may be saying you are "Jeckle and Hyde" yourself, and she may have cameras to prove it, which would negate any paperwork. Just saying. Tread very carefully, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand the don't-park-in-front-of-my-house thing. Either you have a driveway so who the F cares what goes on at the curb, or you don't so you are used to the fact that you park wherever there is a spot. Our neighborhood is mixed (about half the houses have driveways) and our house faces two driveways and has a fire hydrant in front of it. So I have to park my car in front of someone else's house because the entire curb in front of my own is off-limits. (Yes, many people don't respect the law about not parking across from a driveway but I'm not interested in having my car hit by someone trying to back out and then having my insurance not cover the repairs because I was in the wrong.)

What state are you in, PP? I didn't know this was a law.

I'm in PG County, and I believe it's the law. It was also the law where I grew up in the Midwest, but I did/do genuinely believe it's also true here and I'm not just carrying it forward. That being said, I think the County only relies on it in the case of accidents or if someone really hounds them to paint the opposite curb yellow. And, since one of the driveways across from us belongs to a 90 year old woman who still drives to church, I just err on the side of caution for my own sake.

[Anonymous]

I moved my DH's car down the street a little (partially in front of our house and partially in front of his house. He came running out TELLING me I can't park there because his son was coming over. Unless his son drives a stretch limo he has plenty of room to park in front of his house.

My older neighbor did this exact same thing to us. Although, it was my older in-laws who had just parked in front of her house and she wanted me to tell the 70 yr olds to move farther so her 40 year old son (who is in perfect health BTW) could park right in front of her house. We came to find out that she had a 15 year feud going with another neighbor so it was easy to ignore her comments after that. After several years of us ignoring her snide remarks and "killing her with kindness" we all came to get along pretty well. Several years later she became terminally ill and we ended up helping her quite a bit during the last months of her life. I had a chance to get to know her and about her past - it was very sad.

My advice is to let their comments roll off your back - you cannot make unhappy people happy. The roses would be an issue for me, though. Let your husband talk to them if they do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand the don't-park-in-front-of-my-house thing. Either you have a driveway so who the F cares what goes on at the curb, or you don't so you are used to the fact that you park wherever there is a spot. Our neighborhood is mixed (about half the houses have driveways) and our house faces two driveways and has a fire hydrant in front of it. So I have to park my car in front of someone else's house because the entire curb in front of my own is off-limits. (Yes, many people don't respect the law about not parking across from a driveway but I'm not interested in having my car hit by someone trying to back out and then having my insurance not cover the repairs because I was in the wrong.)

What state are you in, PP? I didn't know this was a law.

I'm in PG County, and I believe it's the law. It was also the law where I grew up in the Midwest, but I did/do genuinely believe it's also true here and I'm not just carrying it forward. That being said, I think the County only relies on it in the case of accidents or if someone really hounds them to paint the opposite curb yellow. And, since one of the driveways across from us belongs to a 90 year old woman who still drives to church, I just err on the side of caution for my own sake.

this is ridiculous and just because it was the law wherever you were from doesnt mean it is here. (yes, many people don't respect that laws differ across jurisdictions)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Playing devil's advocate here: With everything in writing, aren't you just ASKING FOR a lawsuit? I don't know that I would antagonize a neighbor by asking for paperwork. It sounds like a form of harassment. Who would you be getting your legal advice from? I would choose carefully! The neighbor may be saying you are "Jeckle and Hyde" yourself, and she may have cameras to prove it, which would negate any paperwork. Just saying. Tread very carefully, OP.

a neighbor that asked me to document every communication in writing would be ostracized from the entire neighborhood and be a complete laughingstock. your lawyer is horrible.

[Anonymous]

22:30 - I agree. Be careful whom you alienate, OP. I would also stop antagonizing your neighbors by parking in front of their house. It really is a small request on their part that costs you nothing if you honor it, and costs you much if you do not. Grow up and have some common sense.

[Anonymous]

i have a great solution. bake the cookies or brownies. just add anthrax.

[Anonymous]

No advice since so much has already been given, but please in about a month or so let us know what you did. I am curious. I have had good neighbors and bad, but yours appear to be harrassing you and I've not had that issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:22:30 - I agree. Be careful whom you alienate, OP. I would also stop antagonizing your neighbors by parking in front of their house. It really is a small request on their part that costs you nothing if you honor it, and costs you much if you do not. Grow up and have some common sense.

I disagree with this. If you have a driveway, of course, but if it is all street parking and someone is in your house, you can't park in front of someone else's house? What about the person parked in front of your house? It's okay for everyone else to find parking but OP just has to tough it out and drive around until that person decides to leave? I'm not sure that is how street parking works and it seems unsustainable. If the neighbors want their own parking spot all the time they need to find a house with a driveway or moved to a building that has reserved parking. There is no unwritten rule that if you live in the city or on a street with no driveways, you always get to park in front of your house.

[Anonymous]

"The roses would be an issue for me, though. Let your husband talk to them if they do it again. "

Why can't OP speak for herself?

[Anonymous]

"I'm in PG County, and I believe it's the law. It was also the law where I grew up in the Midwest, but I did/do genuinely believe it's also true here and I'm not just carrying it forward. That being said, I think the County only relies on it in the case of accidents or if someone really hounds them to paint the opposite curb yellow. And, since one of the driveways across from us belongs to a 90 year old woman who still drives to church, I just err on the side of caution for my own sake. "

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"this is ridiculous and just because it was the law wherever you were from doesnt mean it is here. (yes, many people don't respect that laws differ across jurisdictions) "

Ditto. Just because you "genuinely believe" something doesn't make it so. What an airhead!

[Anonymous]

Who knew so many DCUMers are complete idiots!